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I am at my wits end :(

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  • livalot
    livalot Posts: 193 Forumite
    He is the 'class clown' always messing about. He can't read as he messes around excessively and is always very easily distracted. In a whole lesson he will write just one sentence and thats it.

    The teachers have said about his slow work etc but don't seem very concerned about it.


    Sounds like he behaves a little better at school but is def behind.....he still needs lots of extra help and so do you..Don't be embarresed get the ball rolling, get the help you need and go to the docs asap ........The sooner you do, the sooner your son will benefit and so will you and the rest of your family. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
  • You need to tell school about your concerns, so they can check for any education problems (i.e dyslexia). Also they need to take your concerns more seriously so talk to them about doing a CAF, that may get things moving quicker.

    You need to make a appointment with the Dr, so he/she can then make a referal to the Children's mental helath services so you child can be assessed by the correct people for a diagnosis.

    As been said start to write down the history of it all , as far back as you can and how things have escalated or new things have happend. The Childrens mental health service will wont all this as well so best to start now.

    Depending on you Dr, dont be fobbed of with he will grow out of it or they are all naughty at that age. Again your written history will help.

    Sounds like it could be several things like ADHD, ODD, Autism. But dont jump to conclusions as to what it may be. Their are self help/support web sites that explain these conditions and help you have an idea if your child may have it and how to get the help and diagnosis. It may be he has more than one. I have worked with Children who had been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and others with more than 2 diagnoses.

    It can be a long drawn out process from start to finnish, so be prepared. Here in Suffolk when i first started working with Children it was a year's waiting list to see the Childrens mental health 'experts'. They have since managed to cut that down to 6 months. You can sometimes get an emergency appointment, but you have to have good reason for it.

    Also it would not be fair if i did not say be prepared that your child may be just controlling you and has nothing wrong with him. But the positive will be he has nothing wrong with him :)

    Good Luck
  • INT1
    INT1 Posts: 1,257 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Lucy1973 wrote: »
    I tend to agree with this,apart from the clip round the ear part. Thats going to help NO ONE. OP see your GP and then maybe he'll refer you. If you're not sure what to say,make a note of bullet points,which will make things easier for you.

    Yeah the clipping around the ear was OTT as if you do it he will think it's ok to do.

    CAHMS generally works pretty well going from past experience and also friends that have mentioned the same too.
  • kittiej
    kittiej Posts: 2,564 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    It sounds like he has a real problem with things other people have used before - is this why the toilet paper on the seat?

    Does he have friends? Can he play with other children?

    He needs to get some help because his frustrations will only get worse if he isn't taught how to deal with them.

    It can be such a drain
    Karma - the consequences of ones acts."It's OK to falter otherwise how will you know what success feels like?"1 debt v 100 days £2000
  • Loopy_Girl
    Loopy_Girl Posts: 4,444 Forumite
    He can't read at 8 years old and the school are 'okay' about it?

    I agree with others. I don't think it's usual behaviour for an 8 year old (I have one although a girlie) and I would be taking him straight to the GP to get things rolling.

    You must be exhausted and it must be so hard to keep your temper (and that's not a critiscm, that is me feeling for you).

    I'm positive there will be a reason for it but you will only start to get answers when you seek help.

    Like you have done on here, list things he does (as sods law you always forget as soon as you walk in a Dr's surgery!)

    I would also be liasing with the school about his development. Being the 'class clown' is one thing but not being able to read and getting away with writing one sentence a day shows a failing on them to be honest.

    There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. There's a manhoosive difference between a child that has some kind of problem (like your wee lad) and a brat that has had no decent parenting (which is so not the issue here).

    I'm sorry you felt you couldn't post under your usual name but I hope things improve soon. Get that GP appt ASAP.

    Take care
  • Loopy_Girl
    Loopy_Girl Posts: 4,444 Forumite
    Thank you INT1, I am finding it really difficult to keep my cool with how he is being all of the time, its so hard and I am close to tears almost all of the time

    For various reasons I have a very stressful life and I would highly recommend Kalms and also Rescue Remedy. They both give a sense of well-being and 'just being able to cope'
  • savingmummy
    savingmummy Posts: 2,915 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    I think you need to go and see your GP and demand some help!
    Dont be fobbed off (they do try believe me!)
    Hope you get some help for your son and yourself.
    DebtFree FEB 2010!
    Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j

    Savings £132/£1000.
  • Loopy_Girl
    Loopy_Girl Posts: 4,444 Forumite
    hi its been steadily getting worse and worse over the past 3 or 4 years, I have thought about going to the gp but have no idea what to say.

    If all fails then you print off your opening post and hand it to the GP.
    If you really feel silly/dry-mouthed etc

    But just to re-iterate - you are NOT being silly/wasting anyone's time or whatever else has went through your mind.

    Do you have support in the house or is it just you and the kids?

    What about paper cups and cutlery? Just to make like easier all round in the meantime so that there is less of an arguement at mealtimes? He can choose the stuff himself so he will see it's box-fresh out the packets?
  • I haven't had behaviour like that from either of my two, but a little boy in DD1's class exhibited behaviour just like you describe from your son and his poor Mum was at the end of her tether. In the end he was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome and went to a special school. That was a few years ago and I heard that he is much better now and has just got some GCSE's. I agree with everyone else that you need to go to the GP but you may need to be really assertive and insist on a referral. Good luck - I hope you get to the bottom of it.
    Jane

    ENDIS. Employed, no disposable income or savings!
  • thank you all for the replies.

    Its me, my hubby and the kids. Me and the hubby are both worn out with him as he often has us up all night with his shouting and things.

    He can read, he just messes about that much that it can take at least 20 minutes to read a small page of about 6 sentences.

    Its so frustrating and I have tried to talk to him but he just says he doesn't know why he does these things and that he can't help it. He has cried and so have I. I just want him to be happy
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