Lending money to husband

milliebear00001

ringo_24601 wrote: »

What's yours is mine, what's mine is yours at a reasonable APR ?

Time to realise that your finances are shared now - there's no such thing as 'lending' to a spouse

I would have to agree absolutely with this...you haven't 'paid off his debt' - they are your debts too now.

Steel_2

I would not ask him to pay anything back with interest. You are married now and have joint finances.

Instead, now your husband is debt-free with some disposable income, I would ask him to put some of his income every month into a joint ISA for both of you to enjoy at a later date.

That way instead of you both still living in the past where he is still paying 'someone' back, you can live and plan for the future.

Consider it building a solid foundation for your marriage.

justjohn

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I would have to agree absolutely with this...you haven't 'paid off his debt' - they are your debts too now.

Read the OP's post pre-nup/loan agreement etc looks like its her mentality/mindset each too there own. We all live differently and the world needs all types of people.

Head_Girl

Ok. Thanks for the marriage guidance, that's not what I asked for. And it's not just "a few grand" as someone commented. I would have given him that in an instant.

When I said "I insisted", what I was insisting on was paying off his debts, not that he should pay me interest. That was his idea, which I agreed to.

My marriage is no where near going down the pan and I don't feel that is what I conveyed in my post. What I am trying to do is take away the financial burden he found himself under when his ex wife left him. I do not want to go into the rights and wrongs of that, that was in the past and I am trying to help him move on in the best way I can. And I don't only mean financially.

I am only trying to be sensible in the circumstances and have asked for some useful advice to help us have no misunderstandings about this arrangement. I am a big fan of communication and everyone being aware of where they stand. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo.

carolinejane_2

Thanks for the response Headgirl and it sounds like you know what your are doing. Lets face it even the happiest marriages can face problems so in truth you are probably taking the most sensible route. Have you searched on line to see if you can get any template documents it may be cheaper to do this if you can just present these to a solicitor for the formal agreement

Steel_2

Head_Girl wrote: »

Ok. Thanks for the marriage guidance, that's not what I asked for. And it's not just "a few grand" as someone commented. I would have given him that in an instant.

When I said "I insisted", what I was insisting on was paying off his debts, not that he should pay me interest. That was his idea, which I agreed to.

My marriage is no where near going down the pan and I don't feel that is what I conveyed in my post. What I am trying to do is take away the financial burden he found himself under when his ex wife left him. I do not want to go into the rights and wrongs of that, that was in the past and I am trying to help him move on in the best way I can. And I don't only mean financially.

I am only trying to be sensible in the circumstances and have asked for some useful advice to help us have no misunderstandings about this arrangement. I am a big fan of communication and everyone being aware of where they stand. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo.

I understand where you are coming from. My concern is you are both living in the past. As long as he is 'paying you back' he is still almost punishing himself for his past. If he was paying the money into a joint ISA for a financial goal for both of you, that's a foundation for the future.

It would also help erase the memory of the ex-wife. As long as he is paying you back, she will still be there lingering in the back of your minds in some form because she has caused all of this. He will still be 'paying back' her mistakes.

Head_Girl

Thank you Steel.

Yes, of course the money will be used for our future (my old ISAs would have been used for both of us eventually anyway) and it will be being paid back monthly by him into a new cash ISA as recommended on MSE.

He was not struggling to pay the cc companies the minimum amount, but at the interest rate they were charging, it made more sense for me to clear the debt for him and for him to pay me back.

justjohn

Head_Girl wrote: »

Ok. Thanks for the marriage guidance, that's not what I asked for. And it's not just "a few grand" as someone commented. I would have given him that in an instant.

When I said "I insisted", what I was insisting on was paying off his debts, not that he should pay me interest. That was his idea, which I agreed to.

My marriage is no where near going down the pan and I don't feel that is what I conveyed in my post. What I am trying to do is take away the financial burden he found himself under when his ex wife left him. I do not want to go into the rights and wrongs of that, that was in the past and I am trying to help him move on in the best way I can. And I don't only mean financially.

I am only trying to be sensible in the circumstances and have asked for some useful advice to help us have no misunderstandings about this arrangement. I am a big fan of communication and everyone being aware of where they stand. Maybe it's because I'm a Virgo.

just go to a solicitor.....

i have told you my circumstances.....only way i would have gone down the route you are talking about is if there was a million or so envolved and even then only for the benifit of any children envolved.

I would be interested in the money envolved. My relationship had a 150,000 discrepancy in assets.

most day to day visa's have a max of 15k. even then i would not draw a loan aggreement.

i ask these question because hopefully i learn something and you learn something from me.

ailuro2

Reading through the pagees of the marriages and moneysaving threads, we all know that what starts out a wonderful can sometimes deteriorate into something completely different.

While it's not very lovey dovey to put it all down on paper I can't help but think you're being pretty sensible.

I'd suggest you get a solicitor to write you up terms for repayment, get it signed and witnessed properly, then your mind will be at rest till it is repaid.

I do agree though that a concurrent small scale joint savings plan might show a little bit of faith in your future together.;)

this post is no different to people entering into marriage owning their home outright and tying themselves in with someone who has no assets - they want some protection for what they had before they got together with their new spouse.;)


Of course your new husband could refuse to sign now you've actually GIVEN him the money...

nickyhutch

How romantic.