To remind myself how far I've come - my debt diary. - SOA added

Snaggles

Oh my goodness, I don't know where you're finding all the energy!

What a pain about the post office, I would have been really mad too.

Hope you have had a good night at the panto and are going to take it a bit easier tomorrow!

Sea78

My goodness!!! What an amazing clean! I cannot believe you got so much done...right - this weekend is going to be like your day - full and productive:)

I would have been going mad about your PO - and would be very tempted to put in a complaint.

Sea xx

chocaholic110

I have written the complaint letter in my head, Sea, believe me! I just wouldn't get round to sending one. Similarly there's a girl on the Greggs franchise in our local co-op who gives the friendliest, most helpful customer service and every time she serves me I think I should write and tell her bosses, but I never do. Should really do that one day as I bet they don't get a lot of appreciation.

Yesterday worked really well with the half hour on, half hour off. Bit stiff and achey today though, but that could be the drive to the panto last night and sitting still watching it for two and a half hours. We had a great time there; didn't even have to listen to any sales talk, they just gave us a free drink and an information pack and that was it. They must have had a lot of spare tickets as there were only 6 people in our row; DD and I moved along into the empty seats so we had plenty of room and could see brilliantly. All the cast were good - I even enjoyed Les Dennis and I wouldn't have counted him as a particular favourite of mine! Quite bizarre seeing Mickey rooney in panto as well, but I enjoyed him.

However, just to convince me I'm in a hidden camera show to see how long it takes me to blow my top...got home and OH said to DS "Tell your Mam what Grandad phoned to say" (Remember I had sent the bag of presents for him, step-monster and step-sister along with their cards). DS said he phoned to say Where's a present for step-sister's boyfriend? Now, I've never met this man, I haven't seen step-sister for years, none of them (Dad included) buy OH or I a present for Christmas or birthday (though they do send money for the kids that I am supposed to buy something with and send it back to them, which they then give the kids in the carrier bag I send it in, not even wrapped. I refused to do this, this year and said just give the kids their money and they can choose themselves - it hasn't gone down well!) yet I am supposed to buy something for him??? Then when DS said I wasn't in my Dad presumed I was at gymnastics with DD where I would usually be and my Dad asked for my car registration number and said he would drive there and tell me himself (obviously it couldn't wait!!)

Even DS was a bit put out. He said "And they didn't even say thank you for the presents we gave them" (which they never do).

Anyway, the upshot is apparently my Dad will be phoning back today...what do i say to him?? Any suggestions (suppose they had better be clean ones!). I was going to tell him to take the presents I have sent and drop them off at a charity shop where they will be appreciated but my Mam's favoured response is to tell him to shove them up his...ahem.

I would appreciate comments on this - am I just being unreasonable??

hypno06

:mad: Blimey, you are not being unreasonable at all. I was getting quite angrily emotional on your behalf just reading this post!

I would almost be inclined to say, no more presents. The only thing that stops me is the fact that I have lost my dad, and wouldn't want anyone else to be without theirs, so by saying what you really think, you are in danger of cutting all ties at some point, which is not the ideal.

But other than that I would be very very tempted to say "shove it". :mad:

chocaholic110

I am feeling very much that way - the only thing that stops me is that I don't want to deprive the kids, but then as my Mam just said what am I really depriving them of? I just sort of feel that I have spent 20 years keeping the peace and trying to please them and nothing is ever appreciated. He hasn't phoned yet, but I've jumped every time the phone has rang.

lunar

sounds like your dad is really taking the p**s now! why will you buy a gift for someone you have never met? ask him to do what you normally do for the children, tell him to buy something for him on your behalf, then say you will be looking forward to all the gifts this person will be sending your family this year! you could also ask him if you have a duty to buy for any other strangers?

20 years is a long time to keep the peace with not much in return. do they really help being in your childrens lives or will they be expected (by your dad) to pander to this family too when they are old enough? you are doing so well being tollerant over all these issues, but it seems like they will push you too far one day. maybe you need to start standing your ground, you dont need all the stress it is putting on you. sorry for the rant

benbenandme

Chocaholic ... I've just been catching up with your diary here and its been a bit of a rollercoaster ... thankyou so much for mentioning my diary, it is lovely to think people find it inspiring :beer: and yes, please do join us on the mortgage-free board!! I flip between several boards but this is the one my home-page is set to
Then I got to the bit about your dad I would be inclined to tell him that you are disappointed in his reaction to receiving gifts and that you were brought up to have good manners and appreciate the kind thought of a gift from someone, not to expect something :mad: Why on earth would you buy a gift for a stranger?? Families huh, you can't win and you'll never change them, but for me the lovely bit was that your son realised that it is wrong, this shows you have brought him up to be better than them :T

chocaholic110

Thank you all. I really love this site as it completely restores my faith in people!

Been and collected our tree. We didn't get to go for a walk in the firest this year as I'm finding it hard to move today, either from the housework or the two hours driving yesterday or the prolonged sitting at the panto, not sure which. I'm itching to clean up as I can hardly believe the downstairs is a tip already - have droped a couple of hints but no-one is taking me up on them.

My Dad hasn't phoned, or if he has it was while we were out. Maybe he is thinking a bit more clearly today (or maybe he's read this?)

Had a bit of a funny moment this afternoon. Bought OH a card this week; he's been out and bought me one this morning. He just handed it over and I remembered I had his as well. We opened them together and but for the fact that one says Wife and one says Husband they are identical cards. I fear the matching anoraks are beckoning!!

tattycath

Hi Choc, I have been ploughing through this thread since I spotted it last night. You are extremely inspirational. I read from page 1-31 and had to skipp the next 6 pages and read the last one, coz I was feeling so guilty that you were cleaning your house etc and I was sat on my a*%e just reading and thinking about the million jobs I have to do!!! Your thread is like a good book and I couldn't put it down. Well done in your achievements thus far.

:j CONGRATULATIONS:j

on you forthcoming happy event and good luck for the future!!!!!

chocaholic110

tattycath wrote: »

Hi Choc, I have been ploughing through this thread since I spotted it last night. You are extremely inspirational. I read from page 1-31 and had to skipp the next 6 pages and read the last one, coz I was feeling so guilty that you were cleaning your house etc and I was sat on my a*%e just reading and thinking about the million jobs I have to do!!! Your thread is like a good book and I couldn't put it down. Well done in your achievements thus far.

:j CONGRATULATIONS:j

on you forthcoming happy event and good luck for the future!!!!!

Oh bless, you ploughed through despite the typos and everything! I thought you were going to say you had to skip because it got to darn boring (talking about housework, I suppose it's the same thing!).
Anyway, I've spent enough time sitting on my bum reading threads - I probably do more of that than anything else - I'm an addict.
Thanks for reading for for your good wishes. Feel free to post anytime!