I thought we were here for Help and Support

Classylady2010_2

When I first came on here most people were brilliant but I did have a couple of very abusive pm's from someone who has been on here for a long time.
cl

Sunnylooloo

Classylady2010 wrote: »

When I first came on here most people were brilliant but I did have a couple of very abusive pm's from someone who has been on here for a long time.
cl

that is really sad to hear! I've been lucky not really had anything abusive (unless it's been a troll - which I can give as good as I get). I have been lucky the only PM's I have got have been really good advice etc.

that is really horrible!

_Andy_

Kettle Chips are fantastic.

RAS

I do not care how bewildered newbies are.

Even when a question has been asked a thousand times, newbies are often in a very new and frightening place when they come on here, for them.

Often it is a huge relief just to discover that they are not the only pillock to have made the same financial errors and that life will be OK eventually.

If I am not feeling patient, I might not respond to the thread. If I feel like helping, I will try to extract some sense from the original bewilderment. Even if it is not an area in which I have any expertise, if I can get the OP to explain their problem in terms that others can understand, it is worth it.

Newbies may not know the jargon whilst those with longer histories just think - "statute barred" or "Equita fees" or whatever and go off and hunt for the link.

I appreciate that sometimes people do not get it immediately, that having spent years not realising the consequences of their spending patterns, they may take more than a few hours to get their heads round the changes that are needed to make a difference. So it may take several exchanges before the penny drops.

In the end all we can do is give them the choice. If they choose not to take our suggestions, it is not worth expending the energy getting upset about it.

At least one newbie here attempted suicide after their early explanation was greeted with what handy might call "a savage welcome" with taunts aimed at thier obvious weaknesses. Thankfully family members were unable to get through on the phone and found the OP in time. When they eventually returned, it turned out that they had not committed the heinous crimes that had been suggested earlier and were guilty of a minor transgression that was sorted out with a simple back payment of a couple of hundred quid.

The intervening weeks were not easy, although the OP had logged in briefly about three weeks after the incident so I was hopeful.

I know there are the occasional oblivious spendthrifts, but I would like to ask new and old posters to think how their post would be received by someone who was distressed and potentially vulnerable, before you hit the "post" button.

RAS

Classylady2010 wrote: »

When I first came on here most people were brilliant but I did have a couple of very abusive pm's from someone who has been on here for a long time.
cl

Please send those messages through to abuse and they will deal with the poster concerned.

Smilingnow

Hey everyone....I'm a newbie....joined last night.

I desperatley wanted to make a post last night but found myself in the loans section. I made my post and I got attacked by trolls who seemed ready to pounce and make me feel upset. I did initially try to talk reason and I even deleted the text in the post. Eventually after feeling really down I pressed the report button, but I did tell them I had done this and I did receive some sarcasm in return.

Initially this experience has put me off but then I found the debt-free wannabe section and have read quite a few comments from 'nice', 'sympathetic' and 'understanding' people.

My only issue is that it is very confusing to know which links are the best to choose when you first come on here, but apart from that I'm brave and will carry on regardless :-)

Wutang_2

Smilingnow wrote: »

found myself in the loans section. I made my post and I got attacked by trolls who seemed ready to pounce and make me feel upset.

This is just invented information:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2658157

Billy_two_speakers

There is no such thing as a stupid question just stupid answers

Smilingnow

Wutang wrote: »

This is just invented information:



Hi Wutang, sorry I'm confused....what do you mean?

Ellieseleven

RAS wrote: »

I do not care how bewildered newbies are.

Even when a question has been asked a thousand times, newbies are often in a very new and frightening place when they come on here, for them.

Often it is a huge relief just to discover that they are not the only pillock to have made the same financial errors and that life will be OK eventually.

Well said Ras:T