I thought we were here for Help and Support

Percy1983

To be honest I don't see much wrong doing in this part of the forums, but do agree that people in this area can be in trouble and do come for help and support.

I will say I remember being quite blunt at times when people don't listen to good advise, in one case there was a SOA up and people made loads of suggestions and there was just one excuse after another why they couldn't implement some changes like "I don't like cooking", I say I was blunt in the sense of sympathy had run out and the statement was "YOU have got yourself into this mess, and YOU need to change your ways to get out of this mess, we can't help if you are going to ignore us". As I say we should be nice but sometimes you need to be harsh(er) and bring people back to reality.

I can say I was met some some aggression towards me at first as my financee suggested she could take on some of my debt and help reduce APR's, some where outraged that I was 'pushing' my debt onto her. To cut a long story I need 'push my debt onto the poor girl' and the plan worked, we took 3 years off the debt free date by reducing APR's massively. What I tried to point out to people at the time which would have been the worse crime, to accept her help and bring our dreams together forward 3 years or refuse her help and delay our lives together.

As it is I am strong enough in myself to know what to do and wen't against what many people said and judged me as, and we now have a debt free date of 10 months to which would be around 3 years now, I haven't tried to rip her off at any point and we aboth aware that she has ended up paying some of my debt, but she can also see that I will be putting more into future savings and paying more of the mortgage, do I owe her money... probably... after a few years of living togother would she then infact owe me money... probably... do any of us care? not in the slightest we are in this life together and life is too short to count pennys.

Sunnylooloo

Hi

I know some newbies will post a question on the wrong board, or repeat a question that has been asked many times before, but that is what we are here for to guide and support them, and although we may have seen the same sort of question to them they could be in a very desperate situation and feel they are alone. (Eek I can still remember my first post! and wondering if anyone would bother to reply)

Also as someone else has said, if you feel the post is not relevant etc then we do have the option not to respond.

Marisco

I agree Sunny, there are that many threads it would take forever to go through them all to see if the question had been asked before:eek: Its not really a big deal, to repeat (I'm at that age where it comes naturally now:o) yourself!! I had a quick look on the "Loans" board, after someone commented on it, and believe me we are all "softies" compared to that board:D

Sunnylooloo

There are some scarey boards out there - I tend to stick with what I know!! hahaha

I think the worse one is the DT one -I have never ventured there myself and I think the Benefits one gets a hammering.

sproggi

DGJsaver wrote: »

I cant be the only long term poster that has seen a massive increase in apparently `bewildered` new posters asking what can only be desribed as stupid questions....

can i ?

As a 'long term poster', you should be well aware of the Forum Etiquette:

Pls be nice to all MoneySavers. There's no such thing as a stupid question, and even if you disagree courtesy helps.

Yes, people may ask questions that have been asked on here 1001 times, maybe they are simply too lazy to bother looking, maybe they are new to forums and do not know how to use the 'search' facility or maybe they have just posted in a blind panic at the situation that they have found themselves in.
Whatever the reason, surely it would not inconvenience people too much, to simply post a link to one of the older threads where the question has been answered, much more helpful and friendly than shooting a newbie down in flames and possibly scaring them off.

There are trolls, there are people that just enjoy flaming (older posters as well as newbies).
My personal opinion is:
If there is a troll or abuse, report it.
If I can help in anyway, I will help.
If I cannot help, I leave it to someone that can.
I try to be polite, too the point (hopefully) without coming across as aggressive or arrogant.

This type of thing often rears it's head on the forims and we have sadley lost some wonderful people due to it.

WRINKLES

:T:beer:HE HE HE , It is fun on here today ,

kerri_gt

Motto: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all...

Which doesn't mean to say that the truth can be hard for some people to initally read, such as, well it is your own fault you are in XX situation, however, you've taken the first step by recognising it so well done... etc etc. But there are ways and means of saying things.

Hannah_10

DGJ stop it, the idea of this thread was to unite people and remind them that a little more kindness is never a character flaw. It wasn't written to divide people or have a spat. Nor was it written so you can show off how much more you know that you now find these people tedious.

Once upon a time you yourself would have not known how to subtract 2 from 5, how to tie a shoelace or how to spell your own name. No one here that I have seen yet has asked as simple a question as you once were asking. However long ago it may have been and however young you once were, even you started at absolutely nothing and had to learn from there.

If you find your tolerance has run out then perhaps you need a break for a while. There are many other forums out there where you can change the record and not have to listen to people asking the same questions over and again. Do remember though, that even you were born helpless and knowing nothing, you have been every bit as stupid as the newbies here at once time or another and more so too.

Someone (or more likely a lot of someones) was kind enough to answer your stupid questions. You are only what you are because people were kind to you, so to criticise that kindness in others now, or to criticise the naivity you once had too is in fact an expression of inferiority to those people, not superiority.

Wutang_2

Hannah_10 wrote: »

DGJ stop it, the idea of this thread was to unite people and remind them that a little more kindness is never a character flaw.

Stick to your guns then Hannah 10 - I might report you for abuse

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/35421595#Comment_35421595

VanillaDelia

I think this is more aimed at the Loans threads last night, a lot of newbies are heading there for help and support for Payday Loan errors they have made, some people on there were so unsympathetic over there towards them.