living abroad

euronorris

pinknfluffy - I'm not trying to get at you, so please don't take it that way, but please ask yourself this: Do you really think that you will be able to cope with hubby gone for long periods each time? Honestly?

It seems from the above that it may be too much pressure to put on you and you would therefore be putting your mental health in serious danger. What good is having enough money if you drive off a bridge anyway?

Practically speaking - You're currently repaying debts. How long have you got left? A couple of months or longer? If longer, have you considered writing to them and reducing your repayments for a short while to ease the financial pressure on you as a family?

Have you applied for cleaning jobs, or advertised locally for ironing jobs, babysitting etc. Have you sold stuff on Ebay that you no longer want/need?

Most importantly - have you asked this big support network if they could help you out for a while? Even if all they can offer is some food, that should tide you over (from what I've read above).

Living in different countries can work - for a short time - but it's entirely dependant upon the individuals involved and it's still bl00dy hard work, no matter how you look at it. I hated being away from my OH for the first 11 months of our relationship and we don't even have kids yet. It was hard. I'm not trying to scare you, but I also don't want to sugar coat it and make it seem 'easy' cos the truth is, it isn't and you need to be prepared.

Would your OH's work pay for all the registration documents/visa's etc he'll need. If not, that will almost certainly eat up that extra money he'll be earning. And, if he's willing to work abroad, has he looked at other jobs abroad? Ones closer to home maybe where it's not so difficult or expensive to visit home regularly, or where you and the kids could consider joining him at a later date?

pinknfluffy0

euronorris wrote: »

pinknfluffy - I'm not trying to get at you, so please don't take it that way, but please ask yourself this: Do you really think that you will be able to cope with hubby gone for long periods each time? Honestly?

It seems from the above that it may be too much pressure to put on you and you would therefore be putting your mental health in serious danger. What good is having enough money if you drive off a bridge anyway?

Practically speaking - You're currently repaying debts. How long have you got left? A couple of months or longer? If longer, have you considered writing to them and reducing your repayments for a short while to ease the financial pressure on you as a family?

Have you applied for cleaning jobs, or advertised locally for ironing jobs, babysitting etc. Have you sold stuff on Ebay that you no longer want/need?

Most importantly - have you asked this big support network if they could help you out for a while? Even if all they can offer is some food, that should tide you over (from what I've read above).

Living in different countries can work - for a short time - but it's entirely dependant upon the individuals involved and it's still bl00dy hard work, no matter how you look at it. I hated being away from my OH for the first 11 months of our relationship and we don't even have kids yet. It was hard. I'm not trying to scare you, but I also don't want to sugar coat it and make it seem 'easy' cos the truth is, it isn't and you need to be prepared.

Would your OH's work pay for all the registration documents/visa's etc he'll need. If not, that will almost certainly eat up that extra money he'll be earning. And, if he's willing to work abroad, has he looked at other jobs abroad? Ones closer to home maybe where it's not so difficult or expensive to visit home regularly, or where you and the kids could consider joining him at a later date?

A lot of the things that set me off is our finances, so I think it would really help. Getting family t help with food isnt going to help us long term.

Yes the company will pay for that, we will be loads better off. The idea is for him to do this for a few years then come back and re tain.

djbum_syd

Families are split apart for months when the fathers/mothers are in the army, etc.
If you feel you can cope running the home and looking after the children mainly alone (maybe family can help you out there?), then I say let him go for the job.
Other families can manage, I'm sure if you look deep down inside you, you will find a way to come through.

Violetta_2

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

There are risks involved yes.

I think I could right now plus I have a big support network

What kind of risks, I don't care how much he would earn, I couldn't let my husband put his life at risk for money.
Have you tried the debt free wannabe they may be able to help with your finances.
I'm sorry I can't be any more help I'm really not sure it would be worth doing this I think the risk's to both your husband & your own health are too great.

pinknfluffy0

Violetta wrote: »

What kind of risks, I don't care how much he would earn, I couldn't let my husband put his life at risk for money.
Have you tried the debt free wannabe they may be able to help with your finances.
I'm sorry I can't be any more help I'm really not sure it would be worth doing this I think the risk's to both your husband & your own health are too great.

The job he has now has about the same risks.

I have cut back and back, we have no more things we can cut back on, my internet is not even mine.

pinknfluffy0

well he has the job and is going. I am sad. I think the problem is between us is that I am thinking of the family long term, while he is think bout providing for us

euronorris

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

well he has the job and is going. I am sad. I think the problem is between us is that I am thinking of the family long term, while he is think bout providing for us

Well, I thought you would be pleased with that, as it seems you had already made your mind up about it anyway.

How is him thinking about providing for you not thinking long term?

The decision has been made now, so now you need to prepare yourself for the months ahead.

pinknfluffy0

I had not made my mind up.

I didnt explain it very well he is looking at it in financial terms I am looking at it with emotional.

euronorris

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

I had not made my mind up.

I didnt explain it very well he is looking at it in financial terms I am looking at it with emotional.

Yeah, but when other posters were suggesting it wasn't a good idea, and listing reasons why, you argued against each and every one. That gave me the impression that you were already pretty set on doing it.

Ahh, OK. I think men are just like that though. They're all about practicality and emotion doesn't always come into it. At least not when makin the decision. He may feel very differently after a week or two away from home.

pinknfluffy0

euronorris wrote: »

Yeah, but when other posters were suggesting it wasn't a good idea, and listing reasons why, you argued against each and every one. That gave me the impression that you were already pretty set on doing it.

Ahh, OK. I think men are just like that though. They're all about practicality and emotion doesn't always come into it. At least not when makin the decision. He may feel very differently after a week or two away from home.

I didnt mean to come across like that. I think I know deep down we dont really have any other way of getting straight doesnt mean I like it.