living abroad

pinknfluffy0

Fang wrote: »

Ordinarily I would say that your husband should go and do it, but given your last thread where you were threatening to leave you family and stand in A&E cutting yourself until they committed you, I have to ask what the hell you are thinking?

We are thinking how can we keep food on the table and pay our rent. Thinks have gone very very wrong recently

Fang_3

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

We are thinking how can we keep food on the table and pay our rent. Thinks have gone very very wrong recently

I'm not trying to get at you, but you don't seem stable enough to cope without help when times are good. Without the support of your husband in helping you with the kids, it could end disastrously.

pinknfluffy0

I know I cant always cope but we are running out of options. I dont know how else we will beable to feed and house our children.

Fang_3

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

I know I cant always cope but we are running out of options. I dont know how else we will beable to feed and house our children.

Move somewhere cheaper? Can you not take any job? There are always cleaning jobs available. Are you claiming every benefit that you are entitled to? Can your parents or in-laws help?

pinknfluffy0

We are in council housing, I have been looking for work. This is not something we would like but things are getting very bad.

Fang_3

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

We are in council housing, I have been looking for work. This is not something we would like but things are getting very bad.

Could you cut back? If you're in subsidised housing, are you spending more than you should? Do you have debts or something?

Pixiechic

Hi pinknfluffy0,

I have just read through your last post and I agree with Fang and apologies for not doing research!

Some of your previous post's are quite concerning.

"I dont know exactly what I want but I cant go on like this it takes so much not to drive my car off the bridge near my house every time I drive over it." 22-07-2010 11.16AM

"I have been doing a lot of thinking today and have decided I am leaving my husband and children either for good or until I am well enough to be around my children. Tomorrow morning when my husband gets back from work I am going to go to A&E and i am not leaving till I get some help even if I need to stand there self harming till they do. I am going to try and enjoy a last evening with my babies tonight." 22-07-2010 6.09PM

I don't think that you are in a position to cope with your Dhb being away for so long. I feel that I would be irresponsible to encourage him to go.

There must be another way. Can you look into more benefits?

balletshoes

I think there are a couple of major questions you need to ask yourself OP -

will your OH taking this job abroad sort out your finances quickly enough once he starts to make you feel you can cope better with the day-to-day care and finances of your family (because in your OH's absence from the country, you're going to have the full responsibility for sorting all that out)

and more importantly, what is making you feel that you leaving your kids and OH and getting admitted to hospital, will be to anyones advantage? If you really have been feeling that you're not well enough to be around your children, you have to take steps to resolve this, before your OH leaves for a job abroad. Can you ask a parent to come stay with you when OH goes away to work, just at the beginning, so you feel you have some support when things are getting on top of you?

I've been in a position before where me and my OH were living and working in different countries, for months at a time without seeing each other. You do tend to get lonely, especially at the start, even with other people around you - because you are used to your OH being there.

danielle1977

My partner works away for up to 3 months at a time and I love it But he has always worked away, he used to be in the RAF, so I'm used to it and have a very suportive family. He work also fly him back if we have emergencies (like with the kids). I defintely wouldn't recommend it to anyone who has problems coping and is used to having hubby to help out. I have to remember to do everything (I don't know how single parents manage) and do look forward to him coming back!

pinknfluffy0

Fang wrote: »

Could you cut back? If you're in subsidised housing, are you spending more than you should? Do you have debts or something?

we have cut back, nearly paid off our debt