Brats these days

unholyangel

Does it annoy anyone else when a kid will stand screaming "mum" for 10 minutes rather than walk 20 yards into the house to talk to her?

Or when adults dont teach their kids proper manners? Such as the basic "please" and "thank you" ? I absolutely HATE when kids do the "i want......" then when you ask them to say please they'll say no. You tell them then you're not getting and they start throwing a tantrum while screaming "but i WANT it!!!"????

For any parent who thinks their kid will hate them for not giving them what they "want"..........forget what they want, what they NEED is discipline. They need to learn respect. And trust me when i say, your kid will love you for it when they're older.

Yes it may be hard to refuse them when they're causing a scene but if they know you mean no when you say no, they'll be less likely to throw strops in future. It may be easier in the short run but in the long run, you'll only be shooting yourself in the foot.

It may take them until they're in their 20's to realise you were doing it for their own good but they will realise it. They will realise you did it out of love and not just to be mean.

And yes there are a lot of parents out there who try to do their best but some people need to understand that doing your best isnt necessarily giving the kids everything they want.

There will ALWAYS be a new toy they want, there will ALWAYS be something their friend has that they dont or that their friend can do but they cant.

But at the end of the day, when they have a family of their own, wouldnt you rather be satisfied that you raised your kids right and that they're now responsible adults who know the value of money, that appreciate what they do have instead of moaning about what they dont have and that have manners, morals and family values? The kind of kids who will visit when you're sick, ask you if you need anything from the shops etc?

chrisaj

Well said..........Alot of parents don't like saying no to their children.
As for the temper tantrums, if mine ever did when we were out I just used to walk off and leave them to it, they soon came trotting back when they realised they weren't going to get the attention.

unholyangel

chrisaj wrote: »

Well said..........Alot of parents don't like saying no to their children.
As for the temper tantrums, if mine ever did when we were out I just used to walk off and leave them to it, they soon came trotting back when they realised they weren't going to get the attention.

I used to do the exact same with my Godson He used to behave with me and no one else LOL yet he loved coming to stay with me.

I dont believe in telling a kid "coz" either. If they ask why they cant do/get something i'll explain why. Like (bear with me its quite long) i took my Godson to DLP with my mate and her daughter. He'd never been abroad without his mum before so he was getting ready for bed and said he wanted his mum and was beginning to cry a little.

So i said to him, right.....this is what you need to do......are you listening? He said yes and nodded (bear in mind he was 2 n half at the time). I said you need to get dressed, pack your suitcase, put on your shoes, go out the room, down the corridor, get on the elevator, go down to ground floor, get off, go through the lobby, out the front and round the side, you remember that bus we took to get here? Yep he says. Right i said, you need to get on that bus, get the bus from the hotel back to the park, get off the bus, go into the building, down the escalator, get on the train, get off the train at (cant remember the name of it) get on the subway, get off the subway at.......(cant remember either), go up stairs, go round the back of the building, get the bus from there to the airport and see when you get to the airport.....now are you listening coz this is the most important part? Yes he says. I said you need to buy a ticket. Have you got any money?

No he said. So i said well you're screwed. He just thought about what i had told him for a minute then turned over and went to sleep.

Maybe not the most conventional method of dealing with it but it worked!!! I must have done something right as last year he was being bullied and he chose to confide in me! As did my friends daughter when her mums marriage was on the rocks due to an abusive husband (where my friend was hiding it).

Kids are far from stupid.

PinkLipgloss

unholyangel,

As a teacher I am, unfortunately, constantly disgusted by some peoples lack of parenting skills.

A school I used to work in had a nursery attached. A four year old child joined and had no concept of toilet training (wet herself and then continued playing like nothing had happened). When the staff challenged her mother about his (it's an understanding that children are toilet trained BEFORE joining) she looked disguised and remarked, "Well - that's YOUR job isn't it?"

I've personally come across parents who;

• think that its a good idea to have their children dictate their own diet (thus bringing full packets of biscuits and boxes of quality street for their morning break snack). When I've spoken to parents about this they complain that their darling child will "throw a tantrum" if told no.
• allow their children to literally run wild in the streets whilst walking with them to/from school (clambering over peoples walls/flower beds etc, screaming a horrible high pitched sound, punch and kick class mates...)
• swear at their children, and don't challenge their children swearing back at them

I could go on - but it's too depressing! Then there's the teacher bashing argument that everything wrong with society is the fault of teachers. My response to this is that if teachers/ the education system is undermined and undervalued by parents - what hope do we have?

Fortunately I have found these parents to in the minority.

lolly_896

Try having a autistic child whom looks like a normal child and judgemental people seem to think he is a brat being dragged up!

cyberbob

unholyangel wrote: »

Does it annoy anyone else when a kid will stand screaming "mum" for 10 minutes rather than walk 20 yards into the house to talk to her?

Or when adults dont teach their kids proper manners? Such as the basic "please" and "thank you" ? I absolutely HATE when kids do the "i want......" then when you ask them to say please they'll say no. You tell them then you're not getting and they start throwing a tantrum while screaming "but i WANT it!!!"????

For any parent who thinks their kid will hate them for not giving them what they "want"..........forget what they want, what they NEED is discipline. They need to learn respect. And trust me when i say, your kid will love you for it when they're older.

Yes it may be hard to refuse them when they're causing a scene but if they know you mean no when you say no, they'll be less likely to throw strops in future. It may be easier in the short run but in the long run, you'll only be shooting yourself in the foot.

It may take them until they're in their 20's to realise you were doing it for their own good but they will realise it. They will realise you did it out of love and not just to be mean.

And yes there are a lot of parents out there who try to do their best but some people need to understand that doing your best isnt necessarily giving the kids everything they want.

There will ALWAYS be a new toy they want, there will ALWAYS be something their friend has that they dont or that their friend can do but they cant.

But at the end of the day, when they have a family of their own, wouldnt you rather be satisfied that you raised your kids right and that they're now responsible adults who know the value of money, that appreciate what they do have instead of moaning about what they dont have and that have manners, morals and family values? The kind of kids who will visit when you're sick, ask you if you need anything from the shops etc?

Not that your being judgemental or anything and jumping to conclusions without knowing the full background.

gordikin

lolly_896 wrote: »

Try having a autistic child whom looks like a normal child and judgemental people seem to think he is a brat being dragged up!

Alternatively try having a spoiled brat who appears totally out of control...they actually exist more often in the last 20 years for some reason...as does the reasons for them?

aloise

It's wrong to give children everything they ask for. There is always something that they must have now. We all need something to strive for, and look forward to getting at a later date. Children must have goals. Not all kids are horrors, my grandchildren are polite and well mannered and don't throw tantrums.(Well the 20 year olds don't anyway )

Salz

chrisaj wrote: »

Well said..........Alot of parents don't like saying no to their children.
As for the temper tantrums, if mine ever did when we were out I just used to walk off and leave them to it, they soon came trotting back when they realised they weren't going to get the attention.

Your lucky - I could do this with my son, but my daughter is a different matter - I was hiding round a corner for 45 minutes when she had a strop on one day - there was no way she was coming running:D

gordikin

Children should have what they need...not what they want.

WhiteHorse

PinkLipgloss wrote: »

Then there's the teacher bashing argument that everything wrong with society is the fault of teachers.

Hm. You are obviously fairly young. I'm afraid that the teaching profession is (largely, but not entirely. Parents and politicians are also at fault), responsible for the current condition. "Give me the child and I will give you the man ..."

I am old enough to remember the takeover of the educational system by the lunatic Left. At one time or another, every hare brained scheme in creation was adopted and inflicted on the luckless children. And with every twist and turn, the system collapsed a little bit further.