Son's 18th-how much money is normal, please ?

faerie_girl

From my parents since the age of 18 I have just recieved a card and a bunch of flowers. I personally think £100 is excessive but then at 18 I had a job and was living part-time with my partner.

never_enough

As others have said you have to give what's sensible for you. There will always be friends of his that get more, but as you've explained to him that doesn't mean they're loved any more. I know kids all seem to want cash for presents now, but for an 18th or 21st (but not both) I always try to get something to keep.

Bea89

Could it be less about the money and more about showing how much you care? You said his gf was well off and they went on family holidays and what have you , maybe he sees that as a thing they are doing as a family and is hinting that maybe he needs his family to show how much he means to them and less about the money. Maybe a nice family BBQ on his birthday or something? on my 18th i didnt care about presents , i just wanted my family around me when i needed them.

sp1987

He seems like he wants you to make a big song and dance about it (that sounds like I'm saying it sarcastically? It isn't meant to sound like that, total opposite!). Can you think up some surprise day out/family outing somewhere aswell as his present? I think the idea of a bunch of notes in a card is what worries some people. My dad always used to give me just money. He used to be very generous but I always loved just opening things, whatever they were...and someone making a big unneccessary fuss. No effort spared (as opposed to expense). My friends when I was 18 were a big mix of some very very well off and some very low income people. You always notice the ones (or lots of!) who get the brand new car (and then a replacement at 21, lol) but only some of their parents actually make it into a gift; you know, big bows, big surprise. One person actually just got told 'oh there's a car outside for you' before the parents went out to work for the day. I can certainly say there was absolutely no 'lucky them' about that. Prestige car but nobody could be bothered to spend the day with them, what a miserable day they must have had. I know someone aswell who had £5000 in an elastic band from an aunt as an afterthought as they'd forgotton. I'd rather have had a £20 jumper someone had to spend their day hunting around the shops for by a lonnng way.

You may not be able to do the girlfriend's family version of foreign holidays but I'll bet you can dedicate a lot of time to planning some elaborate outing or activity. Can you make him a big expensive looking cake? Can you go somewhere for the day? If he doesn't like spending time with anyone over 25 can you buy him some tickets to go somewhere? Could you have a bbq at your house? His friends could bring their own drinks in exchange for food?

He seems like he wants to be flattered, which is quite sweet, lol.

sassy_one

Just sharing each birthday with parents is enough, a birthday isn't the same without your parents.

Give what you are able to easily and able to afford OP, I'm sure your son would not want you to go on the bread line because he as had a huge amount of money

sassy_one

Also, sad thing is, people to day think money resolves around everything, which in sense, it does, but were forgetting the most important thing here, your parents, family, loved ones and friends, without them no amount of money could buy you there love or the happiness they provide you with.

provista_2

Our DD was 18 in December, she had spent a lot of time looking for a locket and as she dislikes yellow gold it had to be white gold or silver,
she gave me a list of the ones she liked and I then spent weeks going out looking at them.
The one we bought was silver and cost £50.
Both sets of grandparents live at opposite ends of the country and we live in the middle, so we arranged a family meal. We were rather mean and kept saying we where going to the 2 4 1 when we had actually booked a rather expensive Itailian.
My DD had a fantastic time and it was nice for both sets of grandparents to get together.

KittyBoo_2

When my 2 sons reached 18, I paid for 10 driving lessons for them.
I think I actually got a deal with BSM or someone similiar, using my Tesco points.
It's hard when they get older knowing what to get them for birthdays and Christmas.
I usually give them £20 each for their birthdays so they can go out for a curry with their partners.

mummyyof5

We bought DD1 a laptop for her 18th 2 years ago and paid for a family meal out with close relations at a chinese buffet...thinking about it it probably cost about £400 total...DD2 is 18 in October so will get the same....

Karate

I'm sure I got £200 from my parents for my 18th, with some *things* to open as well, usually a pair of nice jammies, dvds etc, and also a present I had specifically asked for, which cost around £35. I was still living at home for my 18th, and always try and give my parents the money back!

Since moving out, on my 20th, I was given £300, although this was very much greatfully received, as I had a *need* for some cash, buying furniture, learning to drive etc.

I do think its hard to buy presents for your own children as you get older, its a hard one to judge, money seems like the easy option as you don't want to *waste* money on something they might not like.

Keep in mind that the 21st is a special birthday age too, personally I would much prefer a bigger 'song and dance' about this (in the sense another poster had said) than the 18th.

£100 is an absolutely fine amount to give, and im sure he will appreciate it (he will surely be aware of financial difficulties and the credit crunch) but don't make it the notes in the card, do the cake, the BBQ idea sounded nice, go out for a family meal...