Son's 18th-how much money is normal, please ?

nickyhutch

It's really tricky, especially when DS has friends to compare with (and we can't help comparing). When me and my ex split up, my DS was 8, and as part of the financial agreement my ex said he would give DS (as cash, or to me to buy presents, from both of us) £250 for birthdays and £200 for Christmas. I always thought this was waaaaaay too much, but hey. He's 16 now, and I spend on him too, and have done for a good few years, so he gets even more. I'm glad to say he spends it on what I'd call useful stuff - saving up for things he wants that are worth having. When he's 18, I will probably be getting him something like a watch, or putting money in some saving scheme, or asking if there's something he wants money towards.

OP, give him what you feel is right and what you can afford.

smiler34

Lilyloo wrote: »

Thanks for your posts-I think part of the trouble is that me and my hband are a bit old fashioned-we both left home and went out to work at 16, and nothing came easy, so I find it hard to just lavish great sums on the kids, even if we could afford it. I'm sure that my son's parents think that we are just tight.We've always bought them everything they've needed,eg: bikes,
clothes that help them 'blend in' but just not rashly expensive. I'm sure that we will be paying out a lot when the kids go to Uni too.

You are doing your son a favour by not spoiling him...it means he will learn the value of money..I grew up with not a lot of money and there were always kids who had more than me (we didn't have a computer in the house until 1998) so please don't go by what his friends are getting (they are probably exagerating most of them) just go with what you think and hope your son is old enough by now to know you will give what you can.

xx

McKneff

I gave grandson number 1 £100 for his 18th Birthday as he wanted leathers for his m/bike so he clubbed all his money together.

Same with grandson number 2 who is into music so we all clubbed together and got him a mixer thing.

£100 is not mean at all.

CupOfChai

£100 is perfectly fine and generous if that is what you want and are able to give. I think that is around what I got for my 18th not sooo many years ago (!) and I certainly didn't feel hard done by! As someone said, there will always be the one who gets bought a brand new car when they haven't even passed their test etcetc, but I'm sure there will also be plenty who don't get as much as your son does and I bet you won't hear about them!

Lilyloo_2

Thank you everyone, I know you are right, it's important to give what is right for us-hband is much better at this, as he doesn't feel guilty and doesn't agonise over it.

taplady

my son has just turned 18 and we gave him the equivalent of £100 - a ticket to a music festival £75 and £25 to spend. I'd probably have given more but we just didn't have it.

Penelope_Penguin

Lilyloo wrote: »

Thank you, I guess that I didn't make myself very clear-I should have asked, 'how much would posters give as a cash gift OR spend on a lasting gift?'

My children will be going to university in their 18th year. The effects of that'll be long-lasting, I hope

I've offered them a party, but suspect they'll both prefer a meal with a group of close friends.

I'll move this to the Families Board, where you're sure to get more input.

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

Seakay

I didn't have anything major for my 18th. On my 21st my Mum gave me £500 which she told me was for me to spend on something for my future - furniture, a deposit on a home, money for a wedding, whatever I decided. She told me it was such a large amount (this was 1983) because she and Dad (died when I was 14) had put something in an account for each of us kids to grow ready for when we were adults. Having been told all this I put the money in an account and didn't spend it until OH and I bought a house in 1991.
"Everyone" else I knew had big 18th birthdays, but I just didn't. By then I was used to my parents not being unduly influenced by what "everybody" else did or was allowed to do, so it came as n suprise and I didn't really resent it.

Mrs_Bones

A young member of our family just turned 18 and we were told that money was the prefered present so we sent £50, which to me was a lot of money but then we do stop with birthday / yule gifts when children in the family reach 18. I must admit if it had been only my choice I would sooner have got them a gift but then maybe I'm old fashioned too I know the money was wanted to put towards a holiday with friends before uni was started, and I'm sure it will be enjoyed but to me 18 is a special birthday and a lasting present is nice. I'm still wearing the ring my mum got me for my 18th and this is some 24 years later, the ring didn't even cost £50 but it's precious to me.

serena

I think I have spent around £150 on DS1 and DD for their 18th - which was part gift and part cash - they are both saving towards a car. The driving lessons were their 17th birthday presents.

I was happy for them to spend it on a holiday if they preferred.

Have to say that I love the idea of an experience that would be really special!