Son's 18th-how much money is normal, please ?

Nicolay

I turned 18 in january and my parents gave me £100. They didnt have a lot to give and I thought that was more than enough - I'm sure that if you told your son (or perhaps he already knows?) about your uncertainty about your job etc. he would understand. One of my friends got £2000 off her parents for her 18th and after initially being a bit jealous I realised that if my parents had given me that much money I would have felt terrible and wouldnt want to accept it.

Unless he specifically wants the money, a red letter day or something memorable like others have suggested such as concert tickets would be a good gift. I've had money before for christmas and birthdays and have spent it on things like clothes and gadgets, but looking back it seems like a bit of a waste and I regret not doing something nicer with it like going for a meal or a day out with family or friends, because its things like that which you remember, whereas clothes and gadgets get thrown away and don't have as much meaning.

If you still feel a bit mean about giving him £100, you could always ask other family members to consider giving him money if they were planning on getting him a present instead? For my 18th I asked for money instead of presents so that I could be helped along a bit with my car fund - it just depends on what he'd prefer.

bap98189

My parents gave me a nice watch for my 18th. I have no idea what it cost, but I suspect it was relatively expensive. I still wear it every day.

At the time I would probably have preferred money, but would have only spent it down the pub (hey I was 18). Now I'm older, I'm very glad they did give me something to keep rather than just cash.

hngrymummy

£100 is plenty. TBH he shouldn't expect or ask for any more. If he does, put it back in your pocket as he doesn't appreciate it, or the thought you've put in to it. In all likelihood, he's not going to spend it on anything sensible or lasting.

I agree that a gift would be better as it'll last longer and be remembered longer, however, if he is like most of the 18 year olds I knew he'll want the money to spend on a big night out with his mates. You give him more money and he'll just have a bigger hangover. Myabe give him £50 and a nice gift to remember?

minimoneysaver

Lily, can I ask what he is going to spend the money on? Is it a case of £100 that'll be gone on a bottle of aftershave, a couple of t-shirts and six months down the line he'll have nothing to show for it?
My parents very kindly bought me a watch I had wanted for a long time and invested in some shares for me. I got very lucky with the shares a few years later and the watch gave me over 10 years of pleasure.

Lilyloo_2

minimoneysaver-I know that this sounds crazy, but I don't think he is all that bothered about having the money to buy anything in particular or to do anything in particular with it-I've been talking to him about it this morning and he says that he just wanted to think that we'd really push the boat out for him on his birthday. He says it gets him down that everyone else seems to have so much more than him, which I'm afraid is mainly because he has a girlfriend whose family seem to have everything including long foreign hols, nice car for each of the older kids, gorgeous massive home etc. Spent some time reassuring him about the amount we spend has nothing to do with how much we love him, and how we always try to get him what he needs, and he agreed.It's partly hormones I think.

dumpy

I had three juggling clubs for my 18th and a gortex walking jacket for my 21st.

I still have both and I still remember that they were those birthday presents. I have had a lot of use and fun with both and lots of fantastic memories.

I was given the choice of a bigish present for my 18th OR 21st but not both.

NAR

Lilyloo wrote: »

He says it gets him down that everyone else seems to have so much more than him, which I'm afraid is mainly because he has a girlfriend whose family seem to have everything including long foreign hols, nice car for each of the older kids, gorgeous massive home etc.

Are you concerned his g/f will give him more than you?

ailuro2

I'd give him something he can keep or something he can use, like driving lessons.

Or a bottle of cheap champagne and a card if his attitude is he should get the same as his mates.;)

I got a locket for my 18th, from my parents and gran combined.;) you can't make money appear from nowhere if you don't have it.

Kate78

Before I opened this thread I thought "Hmm.. £100 seems about right".

I work with 18 year olds, and you can spot the "too much too easy" crowd a mile off. You don't want him to be like that.

Fang_3

It depends, if it's all you can afford then it's fine. But if you're regularly spending £300 on a pair of shoes for yourself then I think it would be very low. From my parents I got about £4000 made up of an amazing holiday, money and smaller presents, but I had the option of driving lessons and a car, which I didn't take because I didn't want or need to drive then.