Son's 18th-how much money is normal, please ?

loulou123

For my 18th i got 2 books (just normal chart paperbacks) because at that time thats all my mum could afford, and to be honest i felt bad that she'd even spent that money.

For my 16th i got a gold necklace from my grandparents (which i still have and cherish as my grandad died a few weeks afterwards) even though it was gold i dont think it was particually expensive and for my 30th (last year) my mum gave me £50.00 and a really nice charm bracelet.

So i think £100 is perfectly acceptable and that your son should be very grateful for that.

JBD

Lilyloo, give what you can afford. We gave our son £50 for his 18th [was a bit skint at the time] which is what we try and spend on them all on their birthday. For his 21st he got a little more as I had inherited some money.
I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. Just give him what you can.
He may also appreciate some sort of 'keepsake' to mark his birthday along side money [eg a watch] which doesn't have to cost a lot.

janninew

Just give what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with.

I was given an ISA on my 18th Birthday with 3,000 in. My Mum and Dad said I could only have it on the condition the money was used to buy something 'useful' and not spent on rubbish! I was very sensible, so would never have done that anyway! I spent some of the money of driving lessons and buying my first car. The rest was kept in the ISA and I carried on saving and used the money for a deposit on a house!

My parents aren't that well off, but they had saved a little since I was a baby and contributed to it when they could afford it. I do the same for my own daughter now. I wasn't spoiled and the money really helped me start my adult life and opened lots of opportunities for me.

I'm sure your son will be grateful for any money and will have to realise that life isn't fair and just because his mates parents have lots of cash to splash, doesn't mean you do!

claire1234

£100 sounds fine,

what do you usually give him for a normal birthday?
my step-kids usually get £50 each for birthdays & a treat out meal or something,
so were planning on £100 for a special birthday, so when step-son is 18 next year he will get double of what he usually does, hopefully a nice suprise!

everyone is different & some families may be able to afford cars/holidays etc but for us buying both kids cars woudnt be practical at all as we have no where to put them - they live in a terrace house with there mum and no space for the cars & our drive only fits our car, i dont even compare anymore i just do what feels right - with my own kids i`ll try to give something they can keep i like the idea above about the ISA,

Mayflower10cat

Spooky - another vote for £100 being generous without seeming at all mean. I also feel that a gift, rather than money, means much more and will be kept and enjoyed for years. My MIL gave her grand-daughter a rather pretty dress ring for her 18th which she inherited from her Mum - not worth very much but the sentiment behind it made it priceless. Premium bonds or shares, whilst a little boring, are quite a good idea, too. But watches, cufflinks, a heavy gold chain necklace or bracelet, a piece of jewellery that's been passed through the family are all lovely keepsakes.

Here's another suggestion for you! A properly drawn up horoscope is a novel idea.

Only a few years ago my sister in law & her husband gave their son a car for his 18th... Now, that sounds incredibly generous, bear with me! Actually, he'd just passed his test and was still living at home. Both parents drove high insurance-group sports cars (Caterhams) at the time, so there was No Way Jose they could put him on their insurance. They had a good, ex-RAF friend who was a mechanic and they asked him to buy a car at auction and check it was OK. He found a 10yr old basic Ford Fiesta and bought it for the reserve, checked it over, did a few repairs for about £150 at cost, got it though an MOT, total cost about £300. They stuck it on their drive with a big bow across the bonnet for when he came back from college that day - he almost cried apparently, he was so excited!! Husbands dear bro-in-law explained the logic behind this purchase;- they'd been spending a fortune getting taxis back from the Pub/Restaurant/Parties and now, with dear son so desperate to drive anytime, anywhere, he could save a huge amount of money just ringing up his own son's taxi service...!!!

bluetimone97

My son has just turned 18, we bought him his first adult passport (that will last 10 years and hopefully encourage him to travel) and he chose a party instead of anything else from us, which only cost £30 for the food! So about £100 seems right to me, our boys get £50 for birthdays as a rule.
I know how you feel though, his friends parents seem much better off than we are but he is never bothered as knows money is tight!

sassyblue

suelizab wrote: »

I was given a £3 clock for my 18th, 2 years later my brother was given a huge 18th birthday party with caterers and at the same time I was given £5 towards a £7 nurses Fob watch for my 21st . Its not the money but the thought that counts - or lack of it .

suelizab, l actually think that's really sad, siblings should be given and treated the same. Were you honestly happy about it at the time?

To the OP £100 is fine give what you can afford. You can always make the day extra special by doing him a champagne, smoked salmon and scrambled egg breakfast and treating him to his favourite take-away in the evening?

pinkclouds

Lilyloo wrote: »

minimoneysaver-I know that this sounds crazy, but I don't think he is all that bothered about having the money to buy anything in particular or to do anything in particular with it-I've been talking to him about it this morning and he says that he just wanted to think that we'd really push the boat out for him on his birthday. He says it gets him down that everyone else seems to have so much more than him, which I'm afraid is mainly because he has a girlfriend whose family seem to have everything including long foreign hols, nice car for each of the older kids, gorgeous massive home etc. Spent some time reassuring him about the amount we spend has nothing to do with how much we love him, and how we always try to get him what he needs, and he agreed.It's partly hormones I think.

He's sounds really sweet, poor kid. I hope he feels happier after your chat - you sound like a really caring mom. Given the way he feels about it, maybe the way to go is to find some kind of symbolic stuff to show how much you care and how different this milestone birthday is? Do you have any "heirlooms" you can drum up e.g. we were saving granddad's watch for your 18th, etc? Or family "customs" (even if you have to invent them) e.g. for your dad's 18th he got x to represent this, y to represent that and z for whatever? Stuff like that doesn't have the same monetary value as the sentimental value.

Lilyloo_2

Thanks all for your help-lovely ideas too, pinkcloud, I will look around for some bits and pieces. Everyone's advice has helped me to get a better perspective on it.I am also thinking of getting him a keepsake, altho he is a bit of a one for losing things!

Mojisola

Lilyloo wrote: »

minimoneysaver-I know that this sounds crazy, but I don't think he is all that bothered about having the money to buy anything in particular or to do anything in particular with it-I've been talking to him about it this morning and he says that he just wanted to think that we'd really push the boat out for him on his birthday. He says it gets him down that everyone else seems to have so much more than him, which I'm afraid is mainly because he has a girlfriend whose family seem to have everything including long foreign hols, nice car for each of the older kids, gorgeous massive home etc. Spent some time reassuring him about the amount we spend has nothing to do with how much we love him, and how we always try to get him what he needs, and he agreed.It's partly hormones I think.

He has to realise that the gf's parents probably aren't "pushing the boat out" but just spending within their much larger income. We've got some very wealthy relatives who are able to spend lots of money routinely on things that would be once-in-a-lifetime stuff for us but they're not stretching themselves to do it.

As a percentage of income, you might actually be giving him more.