UPDATED *its done!*Our buyer wants to bury their dead dog in our garden

msgnomey

eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

clutton_2

""I am not sure if I can cook enough minted lamb kebabs to keep the smell at bay.""

best go for the curry-flavour lamb kebabs instead then ......

NEH

Well there is a simple solution to solve both problems but then i wouldn't dare suggest such a thing...

spirit

well since it's a BBQ then i suggest you have hot dogs :beer:

CaptainHangover

I've got this one....!

What you want to do is build an open fire no more than a foot high and about 3 foot in diameter directly over 'ground zero'

Then pop down to your local butchers for a full medium sized pig, you might want to get him to pop and apple in its mouth while you are there.

Then once home skewer it on a large pole and mount it above the fire, about a foot above where the flames finish. They you have yourself a full hog spit roast directly over contaminated area!

This will act to disperse and get rid of the smell along with sealing the dog so no further smells can get out.

You cant beet an English summers day with a large piece of hot pork between 2 slices of bread surrounded by your loved ones enjoying a good spit roast.

Hmmm happy memorys..... And no one will be non the wiser.

Ohhh you dont have any Muslims coming do you?

Regards

CH

goldbyron

Oh this is so funny. I am not sure if it is the thought of the 'seller' being at '2 and 8's' about this or the concern about the minted lamb chops that beats it. Henpecked - you should write you know - have you ever read a novel by Mark Haddon? You have the same style - loving it.

Oh btw I think you should ring the EA and see what happens....LOL

goldbyron

Mark Haddon - A Spot of Bother - thats the book!

henpecked1

Thanks, I will buy this book and see what I may be able to do career wise after I retire from trying to sell a house.

Good news, the survey has been instructed on our house. So I hope the grass seed is going to take this week. Part of me wants to keep watering the ground and the other part thinks that I will wash away the soil and unearth the beast that lies beneath, but then I am sure a bit of green spray paint on the fur will blend it into the grass. Although the peg bag will look like blatent littering. I just hope the surveyor doesnt try and peg up any of OHs fancy knickers that may fall off the line during the day whilst we are at work.

Comedy over, I think I will just have to cancel the BBQ this weekend and hope that exchange follows in a few weeks. Bin day tomorrow, so at least the fish will be gone.

clutton_2

""green spray paint on the fur will blend it into the grass" - sounds like there is no need for the grass seed at all - j ust spray the beast.....

you could have dog-roses growing there in no time.....

henpecked1

Update

Well we have returned from being away for the weekend to a letter from our local council director for the environment stating that they wish to gain access to our property on Tuesday 17th at 9am "following recent complaints from local residents concerning a smell in the vicinity of your property and/or neighbouring properties. If you cannot make this appointment please contact Mr XXXXX on 01xxx xxxxxx between 9am and 4pm Mon - Fri"

Oh goodee.