Do I stay or do I go?

Jeryth

Somebody once said, "it is better to regret the things you HAVE done, then regret the things you HAVEN'T".

My parents divorced when I was really young, and decided to have my baby sister and me adopted so we could enjoy a two parent family. I can't tell whether it was the right thing to do, but I was already distressed by the age of three, and anyway, we've both turned out okay, and I now have a good relationship with my birth father.

So my advice is do what you need to do, your son will be able to make up his own mind about his father and your relationship, and it might not be as bad as you may think.

Good luck.

kidtechnical

I grew up in a house with 2 parents who never got on. They stayed together, however I don't think they were bright enough to do it for us (4 kids), I think it was just easier than seperating (dad worked offshore 2 wks on 2 wks off anyway). Mum was constantly threatening to leave/divorce, Dad was always pulling his socks up for a few days before it all disintegrated again. I grew up wishing & praying they would seperate, always getting woken by their arguments, being accused of taking sides, feeling like I should take a side. They didn't seperate & now I'm an adult still listening to their rubbish & trying not to expose my kids to it. I have lost a lot of love & respect for both of them over the years. That is my experience HTH with your situation

jellyhead

matron, i'm probably being very judgemental here and i shouldn't be because i don't know you or your family, but 7 seems very young to have lost respect for his dad. has his dad done something to upset him? is there a constant nasty atmosphere between the two of you? even if there is it's his dad he's upset with rather than you so it makes me wonder if his dad has an anger problem or something like that. if so your son might be secretly wishing for the two of you to split. sorry i sound so horrid towards your hubby!! everyone's drawing on their own experiences here and many of us kids from 'broken homes' seem to have wished our parents had split up sooner rather than limping along 'for the sake of the children'. it might not be the same for your son so forgive me for being so presumptuous!

i can't say i missed my father once he'd gone and i can take or leave him now. although my sister has quite a good relationship with him the other 3 of us aren't really bothered. having your parents divorce doesn't stop you from having a relationship with both parents - fathers can still be good fathers after divorce if they want to. my sister and her ex are both so much happier since splitting up and it hasn't done the children any harm at all, they hated all the arguing and sniping.

crafty

Is matron bailing out of a marriage after years of financially abusing a joint bank acount?

Is matron running away from her obligations to paying back the 100,000k 2nd mortgage and the 10k bank loan to pay off matrons credit cards and overdraft, on top of the origanal mortgage, after taking advice from this very web site?

Has matron been to relate, and didn't get the sympathetic answer she was looking for?
but made up for the set back buy indulging in £70 worth of retail therapy between the relate office and the car park, but then didnt go back?

Has matrons hubby doubled his salary by changing jobs and is now doing a job he hates doing, and the daily commute, and is too emotionally drained battling anxiety, and depression over the finances, and at the end of the day is to downtrodden to have a proper father son relationship?

Is matron spending all the £££ on herself and always buying the child what he wants and leaving it for daddy to say No! - nice mummy - bad daddy?

Has Matron noticed over the last few days the boy is turning on her now that "wait till your father gets home" no longer works on him because daddy isn't telling him off anymore?

Is matron & hubby likely to end up in the bankruptcy court as well as the divorce court?

Is matron using the situation that no matter what she and a child must be provided for buy going to the local council for accommodation, yet a single man could end up on the streets?

Is matron spending to much time and £££ in the shops, hairdressers, lunches/ nights out, and online shopping, rather than on the wards? (the 3 day week stopped in the 1970s)

Does matron find it easier to buy new clothes rather than wash and iron what she already has?

Did matron squander the pay off from her 1st marriage on a flash car only to write it off leaving matron with nothing?

Is matron posting on this site because she can get away with posting half truths and getting the sympathy she is looking for, because all her close friends and FAMILY disagree with matrons behaviour?

If this sounds like you see me later!

And for all those who have posted a reply, Thank You! their are 2 sides to every situation, so think on!

Glad

there seem to be issues here that may be better sorted out away from the site,

I'm sure everyone here would wish you both the very best and hope that things turn out the best for everyone,

but as the thread is going away from the original topic I think I'll close it for now