Roxies £3K diary - help!

~daisy~_2

mucho kudos and huge congrats on review lovie xx

RoxieW

Hi daisy! Thanks

RoxieW

Sunday dinner time. And I'm starving!

RoxieW

Well I'm totally furious. My husband has been nothing but a plank all weekend. His mood is constantly up down up down. He's just eaten the Sunday lunch that I made before beggaring off to the pub, but not before telling me that I won't be meeting my friend for a curry this week.
I'd messaged her as we haven't seen each other for a while - with the suggestion of a curry as its what we usually do. He's obviously read it as he said what do you think you're going for a curry with on Thursday? I hadn't really thought about it but assumed I'd take it out of the £200 budget - like we did last week when he wanted to get a taxi out. It would cost the same amount. But apparently I would have to ask his permission and it's a big fat no anyway. Yet he's at the pub using his 'pocket money'. He's says I'm not allowed pocket money because I've already spent mine for the next few months apparently. I know I have overspent and messed up but I feel like this is just another way for him to control me. He holds all the cards in the relationship as it is. At the moment I hate him, I really do. If I don't play ball he threatens to just have all his wage transferred into an account in his name every month. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do but cry

La_escocesa

Uh Roxie, that is just rotten Do you have access to Tesco vouchers that you could swap for restaurant vouchers so not using cash? Or maybe you could just meet your mate for a drink/coffee instead? Does your friend know what's happening at home? Sounds like you really deserve a night out... Check out your store cupboard and invite her round for tea? (Even better - invite her round tonight while your OH is at the pub!;) )

I'd be tempted to find out what's happening around town to see if there are any free events going on. And if the weather is nice you could even picnic/go for a walk...

x

Spirit_2

"He holds all the cards in the relationship as it is. At the moment I hate him, I really do. If I don't play ball he threatens to just have all his wage transferred into an account in his name every month. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do but cry"

Money saving fine. Curbing runaway spending fine. Bossing and bullying totally wrong.

How long has he been treating you like this...I don't mean the 'card control' I mean the lack of partnership, shared responsibility and respect?

RoxieW

for a long time spirit

RoxieW

La_escocesa wrote: »

Uh Roxie, that is just rotten Do you have access to Tesco vouchers that you could swap for restaurant vouchers so not using cash? Or maybe you could just meet your mate for a drink/coffee instead? Does your friend know what's happening at home? Sounds like you really deserve a night out... Check out your store cupboard and invite her round for tea? (Even better - invite her round tonight while your OH is at the pub!;) )

I'd be tempted to find out what's happening around town to see if there are any free events going on. And if the weather is nice you could even picnic/go for a walk...

x

I could meet her during the day but then i will have the children with me and i wanted to have a proper catch up. its like i'm not allowed out of the house now or any social life because of this.

LittleMoog

Hi Roxie,
I've been following your diary from lurkdom, but I just had to unlurk. I think your husband's behaviour is totally unreasonable. He was an equal partner in your lifestyle and overspending, and is continuing to spend as he likes while expecting you to shoulder all the blame and work to an arbitrary budget. He expects you to manage his nights out, and weekend takeaways, so why not your night out?

If I were you I would have to confront him over this, he sounds like a petulant child who's throwing his toys out of the pram. He had no interest in budgeting for the household bills etc in order to stop you falling into your overdraft, but I'm sure he enjoyed the lifestyle. He bears equal responsibility, and now it's out in the open he shouldn't be holding it over your head.

Perhaps you could write how it makes you feel, and how you want thing to be, including a plan to repay the overdraft over a reasonable period, say 6 months, in a letter, and give it to him to read while you're out with the boys?

In the meantime, could you arrange to eat at your friends, and just bring a bottle?

La_escocesa

RoxieW wrote: »

I could meet her during the day but then i will have the children with me and i wanted to have a proper catch up. its like i'm not allowed out of the house now or any social life because of this.

I didn't mean meet her a different time - just meet her at night as you planned but do something instead of a curry, which your OH can't moan about. You deserve some time 'off' from him. Good luck with it all. xx