Roxies £3K diary - help!

RoseRed

Just having a read through your diary and I really feel for you. He is being horrible about this and it looks like he is blaming you for everything and being a total bully.

Is it possible to go through your bank statements etc and highlight what has been spent for the house, you children and then YOU and HIM. It seems to me that his attitude is that when you spend it is stealing his hard earned cash from him but when he spends it is funds from the magical money fairies and therefore totally justified.

Regardless I think you need to remove the sackcloth and ashes he is trying to force you into and stand up for yourself. It is not his money, you have children and are in a partnership.

Sending you bigs hugs, I think you need them at the moment.

rubber_soul

I'm sorry you're having a tough time Roxie You're right- he is being totally out of order. He cannot expect to go to the pub and spend money if you can't have the same grace- you are his equal.

Lovely, do you any support, friends or family around you if needed? Totally agree with RoseRed on the fact it's not HIS money, it's yours as a couple, a family.

Hope you're ok x

CITDFW

roxie i have ben reading your diary for a while and feel now I need to post. So sorry your Dh is being like this with you. He obvioulsy doesnt for one minute have any idea what it is like to be at home all day with 3 children. I think he needs a short sharp shock! I would suggest you getting up early saturday morning and going out till late in the evening on your OWN! until he has to do your job he'll never understand. I am very fortunate that my Dh is completely understanding of how hard being a mum of 3 is. and he will often say I love the kids but I couldnt do it full time. He also understands that entertaining the children and going out for the odd coffee with friends etc or meet in a softplay is essential both for the children and your own sanity. The only way your husband is going to understand your point is by having to do it himself. I know it might be hard and you might not enjoy doing it but your not enjoying things at the moment either.
Bighugs whatever you decide to do but I really hope you can sort this out xxxxxxxxxxxx

RoxieW

Thank you all for your support. Am getting the silent treatment at the moment while he shoots people on his computer game. Am so tired I just can't be bothered. Just gonna watch some tv and chill out and see how this pans out. Think I need to sleep on it.
Thanks guys.

RoxieW

On the upside NSD today

Taking a picnic down the beach tomo again. And hopefully get some work done in the afternoon though that's been the plan all week but it doesn't seem to be working out so far. Really really need to do the ironing STILL lol.

vasseur

Aaaaaah Roxie I'm so sorry to hear how all this is panning out. Totally agree with everything the others have said. It IS hard work being with children all day (and I only have the one!). I've done both - I've been at home all day and I've been at work all day and it is far easier being at work (but then you have all the guilt that comes with that ).

Could you invite your friend over for a curry instead? It's the sort of meal you can prepare in advance then your husband could sort his own meal out? He might wish he'd let you go out then....

I hope things improve. I would definitely go through the statements and highlight where the spends are going.

Keep smiling

dancingfairy

I can't believe how mean your husband is being - that's not on. You are doing so well keeping to the budget and things - it seems like he is scared of you taking control back.
I hope you are putting aside a small amount of the money you are saving so he can't just randomly take it off you??
df

Mags30

I agree with the others about the husband being unreasonable. I can't help thinking of the ipad he bought you. The price of the ipad would be enough pocket money/money for lunch with friends, etc until Christmas probably. Much as I'd love an ipad given the choice I'd prefer the money it cost as "pocket money" so that I could meet a friend now and again.

The other thing your husband needs to understand is that this debt ye have isn't substantial, obviously it's inconvenient, etc but it's not exactly putting ye in danger of loosing the house so he needs to learn to live with it for now.

RoxieW

Hi all
Things still not great on the home front unfortunately. On the mseing front they are better though. Spent all day at the beach again today. Just spent £2.50 on ice creams. Took a lovely picnic then had the left overs from yesterday for tea spend another 10 on shopping though as I needed milk- I get it from farm foods as it's 2 4 pinters for £1.50. While I was there I also got coke, juices and frozen fruit to make smoothies as vie still gone off alcohol but find I like someone in my hand of an evening and in this warm weather I don't fancy tea or coffee. So far so good though. Also phoned by about the fact that they were charging us £17.50 for line rental. Apparantly it's cos we've got1571 and caller I'd which I didn't know that we were paying extra for. So I cancelled that which will save £6 a month. Also cancelling the window cleaner and doing them myself. So with all the dd's I've cancelled that saved about £30 a month and tbh I would have just let them run and not noticed if I hadn't been goi g through the bank account with a fine tooth comb. . So that's good. Have also had lots of lovely exercise from walking down to the beach today and kids are all tucked up so off to get a nice bath.

RoxieW

Evening all. Well things are looking brighter on the home front today. Thankfully. I know people say money is the biggest cause of divorce - or is that Facebook now? Anyway, its never caused a problem in our relationship before now and the last few days have been horrible. Happy to report though that we've sorted it out.

Also happy to report that I didn't spend a single penny today. Didn't leave the house mind. I got lots of work done AND finally did the ironing. I also made £5 on eBay and another item that vie listed is currently on £30 with a few days to do .

The kids haven't had much attention today mind. So will take them out tomorrow to make up for it. Although with this rubbish weather im running out of ideas. Feeling i might have to resort to the playcentre. Any other ideas? How is everyone?