invited to wedding and evening do?

fly_dragon_fly

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Agree with the consensus that the invite needs to be for the evening, with an afternote (either on the invite or seperate piece of paper) saying that it would be lovely if they could come to the ceremony but that the numbers are too restricted for the sit-down meal to have been able to have invited everyone you wanted.

I was going to ask if there is a nice pub or something local to the venues that you could suggest these people may like to go. But if one of the problems is the men getting drunk then you might not want to do that.
How about a park where they can take the kids to feed the ducks, or something? It's not your responsibility what they do, but if you know the area and they don't they may feel more thought of if you make a suggestion.

my wedding's in December or i would suggest the wedding is at 3pm the meal is at 5:30pm and then evening guest arrive at 7:30pm

talulahbeige wrote: »

I agree, it reeks of "Come look at me all dressed up"

Cynical old me thinks they are fishing for an invite to the whole thing whilst OP wants everyone to look at her but doesnt want to pay for them to do so.

and i'm sorry love but that last bit hit a raw nerve.

isn't the point of a wedding for people to celebrate your love you have for the one you are marrying for the rest of you life? not for everyone to look at me. if i was doing the massive wedding with a big white dress then yes but when i'm wearing a short 50's dress i really dont care for people to look at me i just want them to go oh that was a beautiful wedding you could really see the love they have for each other.

rather saddens me that you feel like that in general

if it wasn't for my mother i'd just invite my closest family and friends and f*ck everyone else because its not about them its about me, my partner and my son who is the other love of my life.

thanks for all the replies in general and sorry for the arguements its caused! xx

Lexxi

If I'd have known when I booked the hotel hoow many people I'd want to share the ceremony and how many people would want to watch the ceremony I wouldn't have booked the hotel I'd have just had the evening reception/buffet because of the stress it's causing. I can't invite my musm friend to the whole day who is very excited and pleased for us but I have to invite her sisters who I don't speak to and aren't interested

talulahbeige_2

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

and i'm sorry love but that last bit hit a raw nerve.

isn't the point of a wedding for people to celebrate your love you have for the one you are marrying for the rest of you life? not for everyone to look at me. if i was doing the massive wedding with a big white dress then yes but when i'm wearing a short 50's dress i really dont care for people to look at me i just want them to go oh that was a beautiful wedding you could really see the love they have for each other.

rather saddens me that you feel like that in general

Unfortunatley for you I am allowed an opinion and thats how your posts come across.

I agree with you whole heartedly, a wedding is to celebrate your love for that one person, however, your not inviting them to celebrate are you, your inviting them to watch you get married, go away again and then come to the cheaper night bit.

fly_dragon_fly

celebrating isn't about sitting in a room on a table chatting to the 8 people around you celebrating is smiling sitting there crying and having that warm feeling that something amazing is happening for that hour.

the celebrating part if you want to think materialistly in my eyes is when the dancing begins and the drink is flowing, i dont see sitting round a table only being able to talk to those directly around you, as celebrating two peoples love because you cant talk to them ( the married couple) until the end of the meal.

i'd rather them just come to the wedding and not the evening bit than the other way round as i think thats rude to go oh well we shalln't bother seeing you get married but we'll get drunk and have a dance with you.

magicgirl

talulahbeige wrote: »

however, your not inviting them to celebrate are you, your inviting them to watch you get married, go away again and then come to the cheaper night bit.

what is rude to some is not to others. my family expect to be invited to all parts of a wedding only i coldn't afford to do that. between us, h2b and i have 175 family members. it just wasn't going to happen. its not always about the expense of feeding people. just cos your friends and family might have their noses in the air about stuff like that doesn't mean everyones will. my friends (and i am sure flys also) will be honored to spend any part of our special day which is why i have made sure people know that they are all welcome to the church. my evening do isn't 'cheaper'. on average, when you add up the entertainment and the food etc, its costing per head around the same as the day so your point is totally null and void!

talulahbeige_2

magicgirl wrote: »

what is rude to some is not to others. my family expect to be invited to all parts of a wedding only i coldn't afford to do that. between us, h2b and i have 175 family members. it just wasn't going to happen. its not always about the expense of feeding people. just cos your friends and family might have their noses in the air about stuff like that doesn't mean everyones will. my friends (and i am sure flys also) will be honored to spend any part of our special day which is why i have made sure people know that they are all welcome to the church. my evening do isn't 'cheaper'. on average, when you add up the entertainment and the food etc, its costing per head around the same as the day so your point is totally null and void!

Perhaps you want to re-read the whole thread and my comments, your post is nothing to do with what I have said so you've left me slightly confused!

tamarto

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i'd rather them just come to the wedding and not the evening bit than the other way round as i think thats rude to go oh well we shalln't bother seeing you get married but we'll get drunk and have a dance with you.

I can't believe you mean that ^^^^ there is so much wrong with it i don't know where to start.

fly_dragon_fly

go ahead start i dont mind ( my grammer is awful and i'm sorry for that one)

why wouldn't i mean that as i've said the whole way through the wedding TO ME is the important part of the day not the party afterwards.

x

Bluefire

I've read this thread with a lot of interest as myself & my partner have been discussing doing a similar thing. He's often commented on how the important part of the day is the ceremony and how we would love to have all of our family & friends in attendance. Unfortunately we're also in the common position of being unable to afford to cater for everyone afterwards at the wedding breakfast.

I'm loving the idea though of including a note in with the evening invitations letting guests know they are welcome to come along to the ceremony. That way there's no demands placed on them to attend, however if they wish to come & see us get married then they can. Obviously the large gap inbetween the ceremony & the evening celebrations isn't exactly ideal, however there will I'm sure be people who are still willing to do it.

GEEGEE8

Can't you have one big special guest table, and on the invite say that people have to book their own table at the venue at their expense? Otherwise you will see them at the party... ?