invited to wedding and evening do?

ellay864

hunnycat wrote: »

there is a thread on this from a while ago and i think the opinion was that it would be ok.

QUOTE]

That thread was mine - I posted this question a few months back - it was my very first post on here!!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2352347=
Quite a few people did also think it was fine, and many people have done this anyway - you can't actually ban anyone from going to a church so I know lots who've gone to the church without a formal daytime invite

Valli

ellay864 wrote: »

hunnycat wrote: »

there is a thread on this from a while ago and i think the opinion was that it would be ok.

QUOTE]

That thread was mine - I posted this question a few months back - it was my very first post on here!!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2352347=
Quite a few people did also think it was fine, and many people have done this anyway - you can't actually ban anyone from going to a church so I know lots who've gone to the church without a formal daytime invite

Hence my suggestion of including ceremony details...which I would do 'out of interest' and not as an invitation to attend;)

RainbowDrops

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

is it not ruder to be just invited to the evening part

i'd feel offended if i wasn't invited to share that special moment of the service?

are people really that selfish that its just about about the meal now?

I don't think the issue is entirely food based, it's just a big gap to invite someone specifically for the ceremony, then have to hang around somewhere before they can meet up with you again for the evening.

Whereas giving invites for just the evening, but giving the guests the option to turn up for the cermony if they wish is a little more flexible.

Kazz81

I think a lot of it depends on the proximity of your guests to the wedding venue and evening venue. I would be irritated to be invited to a wedding service and be expected to amuse myself for a few hours and then reappear later if it was some distance from me, but if it was local it wouldnt bother me.

IMO, the nicest way to put it would just be to send an evening invite with a little piece of card stating where and when the service is. As someone else said, be clear that it's close family only to the meal.

WHY are weddings such a minefield?!

Lexxi

Valli wrote: »

as a footnote, to anyone who wonders why I'm here in this part of the forum, I'm looking for wishing well info/tips and felt I had to comment - and for NO OTHER REASON lol

There was a thread in here not so long ago about that too, there are well planters that are ready to be painted/decorated, also there was one on ebay too, ready decorated.

I'd like to ask evening guests to come to the ceremony if they'd want to but I do think it sounds a bit weird

Valli

Lexxi wrote: »

There was a thread in here not so long ago about that too, there are well planters that are ready to be painted/decorated, also there was one on ebay too, ready decorated.

I'd like to ask evening guests to come to the ceremony if they'd want to but I do think it sounds a bit weird

thing is having been married twiceand just having taken up with a new bloke I do NOT want ANYONE to get the wrong idea :rotfl:
My friend has aked me to construct a wishing well for her forthcoming nuptials

shellsuit

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

is it not ruder to be just invited to the evening part

i'd feel offended if i wasn't invited to share that special moment of the service?

are people really that selfish that its just about about the meal now?

Of course it's not rude just to invite people to the evening, I'm having separate evening guests myself!

I meant it is quite rude to ask someone to your ceremony, then expect them to twiddle their thumbs until the evening, while everyone else who got a day invite, will be celebrating, eating and drinking with the happy couple.

It's nothing to do with food, I just meant I'd feel like they weren't good enough/close enough to spend the whole day with you.

nearlyrich

I think it's would be bad to say only Close Friends (and family) for the meal as surely you would only invite close friends anyway.

If you invite people to the evening event and pop ceremony details in with the invitation it doesn't look like you are making certain friends more important than others.

When I got married the first time we only had an evening do, we got married around lunchtime, had photos and then went to prepare the food for the evening we were young and skint LOL...

fly_dragon_fly

its basically my aunts 6 children who are all adults with couples and then children of there own.

they are friendly and nice people but i rarely see or talk to them apart from christmas and would like them at the wedding because thats important but i cant afford to spend nearly a grand for them all to eat when i'm not that close to them and the men tend to get drunk and embarrass everyone.

so i dont want to punish the ladys by not inviting them to the whole day but they have express that they would love to see me marry hense the invite them to the wedding and evening bit.

xx

missknixon

I was limited to the numbers I could have at my actual ceremony! With a church that is not always the way - I know in some there are quite low limits!

I would slip an extra piece of paper in and tell them that the service is at x if they wish to attend and the evening do is at x. It does seem a little unfair if they are then going to have to pay for a meal etc to amuse themselves and their children for a number of hours! But if they live close by let them know! Also speaking to them and explaining might help!