invited to wedding and evening do?

fly_dragon_fly

how would you word this?

we are having a church wedding the sit down meal then evening part.

i tbh want everyone at the wedding because that is the most important part of the day

so how do i word the evening invites because we would like them to celebrate our wedding and then join us for the evening part as the meal is for close friends and family.

how would you word a invite? x

shellsuit

I wouldn't to be honest.

I think it's quite rude, as you're saying you want them to see you get married, but they're not as important as the day people as they won't be getting fed/celebrating the meal with you, and so will have to go home/elsewhere and come back in the evening.

That's just my opinion though! x

mimosaurus

i think as long as there are a group of them who are not invited to the meal then that's fine, having been the only person out of 80 at a wedding who was asked not to attend the meal but ok to attend everything else, i can tell you that being that person is not a nice feeling!!!!!!

in terms of wording on an invite, I do think that is difficult although i'm sure someone on here will come up with an excellent idea we put a letter in with our invites, which had all the detailed info on - it allowed us to explain some of the things without needing to fill up the whole invitation.

so perhaps on the invite you could say that they are invited to the evening reception, and then in a letter say that you would also love for them to come to the ceremony but that the meal will be for close friends and family only?

far2812

Yes it is a little unusual! Not too sure it would be worth it really as you may upset people! I think people would just be glad to be invited to one or the other!

Cazza

Someone did this to me, TBH they had quite poorly worded invites so I do think it needs careful wording. It would have made more sense to me if it had just been an evening invite, maybe with a separate card or piece of paper saying "The wedding ceremony will take place at xyz, we would love as many people as are able to join us at the Church". HTH!

1pinkpiggy

I've been to couple of wedding s where we went to the church then the eve do missed out main bit. I didn't feel offended in any way.

I think on one of the invites it said something like although we would like you to share the full day with we are limiting the sit down meal to family & wedding party members only, you are welcome to see the I do part at xxxxx and please do join us from xxx onwards at xxx.

Not fully them words but it was a few years back.

hunnycat

there is a thread on this from a while ago and i think the opinion was that it would be ok.

I would just give an evening invite and a seperate sheet with ceremony details .

MrsC....tobe

Some years ago my dad and step mum renewed their vows and there was about 70 people invited all day. To keep costs down we did the invitation with all the detail and asked them to come and celebrate the occasion. We also included an insert with wording similar to the following:

After the ceremony **** and **** and their offspring will be going to the **** hotel for a meal. If you would like to join us, a special menu (enclosed) has been arranged at a cost of £15 per person (we got a good deal for 3 courses!!) payable to the hotel on the day. If you would like to join us please return your meal choices with your RSVP.

As it was a 'no present' event everyone came along to the meal with only 2 people getting lost on the way so we had to stump up the cash for that!

Hmmm, thinking this might be quite an attractive option for my day since I am starting to stress about it already!!!

RainbowDrops

I think the idea of sending invites for the evening do, but also saying that they are welcome to come to the ceremony would be the best way of wording it.

Probs best to be clear too, to make sure there's no confusion (rather than rying to word it as a poem or something)

fly_dragon_fly

is it not ruder to be just invited to the evening part

i'd feel offended if i wasn't invited to share that special moment of the service?

are people really that selfish that its just about about the meal now?

Valli

etiquette has it that evening only guests aren't invited to the ceremony so I would send out the evening invites and a separate flyer with ceremony details, with wording along the lines of 'you are welcome to attend...'

Apparently you should not send evening guests gift lists, either unless the guest asks you to.

as a footnote, to anyone who wonders why I'm here in this part of the forum, I'm looking for wishing well info/tips and felt I had to comment - and for NO OTHER REASON lol