invited to wedding and evening do?

JimmyTheWig

Agree with the consensus that the invite needs to be for the evening, with an afternote (either on the invite or seperate piece of paper) saying that it would be lovely if they could come to the ceremony but that the numbers are too restricted for the sit-down meal to have been able to have invited everyone you wanted.

I was going to ask if there is a nice pub or something local to the venues that you could suggest these people may like to go. But if one of the problems is the men getting drunk then you might not want to do that.
How about a park where they can take the kids to feed the ducks, or something? It's not your responsibility what they do, but if you know the area and they don't they may feel more thought of if you make a suggestion.

tamarto

Or invite them to the evening, with a slip included with details of the ceremony on it, then there is no presumption.

tamarto

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

How about a park where they can take the kids to feed the ducks, or something?

I can't see that being fun in the middle of december.;) :rotfl:

hayleythedaisy

tamarto wrote: »

Or invite them to the evening, with a slip included with details of the ceremony on it, then there is no presumption.

Which is what I was suggesting.... As I put in my OP we were the victims to a badly worded invite.

And just to clarify. No I don't think you should be rude to people because it's your day.

Kate78

A work colleague once invited some of us to his wedding ceremony and evening do.

Although I could understand not inviting us to the sit down meal due to expense, I thought it was a little crass to basically say "Come see us get married, push off for 3 hours then come back to the evening do". :mad:

We just went to the evening do in the end. I think he should have just invited us to that.

minimoneysaver

I suppose it is alright if you live locally, but if people are travelling, I think it is out of order to invite them to come and watch. I did want to go and watch a friend get married, I knew it was a larger church so would have room, I only lived down the road from the church and was going to the evening event, so I slipped in quietly at the back and observed. In other cases, I would probably feel very guilty if I couldn't make the church, but was going to the evening event. What i'm trying to say is, if they want to come and watch the 'wedding' bit, they will probably ask you.

talulahbeige_2

Kate78 wrote: »

Although I could understand not inviting us to the sit down meal due to expense, I thought it was a little crass to basically say "Come see us get married, push off for 3 hours then come back to the evening do". :mad:

I agree, it reeks of "Come look at me all dressed up"

I personally would send an evening invite only, i wouldnt mention the ceremony at all but i would make it known to people who know the people who had expressed an interest that they are more than welcome to come to the church.
As someone else has said, anyone can go into the church whilst the wedding is taking place and they will probably know this already.

Cynical old me thinks they are fishing for an invite to the whole thing whilst OP wants everyone to look at her but doesnt want to pay for them to do so.

ellay864

I think it's all down to the wording, plus how well you know the people in question and how you can explain to them. If you see an invite as 'please come see us getting married' it could possibly in some circumstances seem a bit 'off'. If you see it as 'you're welcome to come if you decide you want to' then it's slightly different, it gives people a choice, and depending on locality, transport, childcare, costs etc etc the guests can make up their own mind.
We are even more limited on numbers for our meal than I thought - we can only have 36 sitting down but can have up to another dozen at the ceremony, so we will be explaining this to those people we'll be asking to join us but can't do the full wedding breakfast for. As ours is at the zoo they do get a day at the zoo on us and we will sort them out a meal, and we're laying on a bus, just they can't do the full thing with us, but I know they won't mind
And Hayley....I thought your post was great and said it all....I didn't think you intended that anyone should actually tell their guests to go F themselves and I'm surprised people thought you were advocating being rude to guests. I think anyone who's read you on here knows what you meant

ailuro2

talk to each of them personally and explain, then send out an evening invitation with a hand written note telling them the time and place of the actual wedding ceremony.

They'll understand about cost, and might ne glad of just a night out rather than the expense of a full day long wedding including babysitters.;)

tamarto

ellay864 wrote: »

I think anyone who's read you on here knows what you meant

Oh please, was there a need, did i click on MSE and end up in the playground?