Freeloading friend.

bella*donna

RAS - my husband did mention it to the farmer. He said that some of people don't pay, but most do and it's not worth him getting stressed over. But he did hope she got salmonella! I don't know what people/pubs they stole from.

do_it_today!

bella*donna wrote: »

I thought that to Tropez, and they do have debt. She spends a lot of money on cars, booze and clothes. I do think it's intentional. She works as an in home carer for the elderly, and got fired from her last job just after Xmas for suspected stealing. She was arrested, but the police had no evidence so the case was dropped.

It's since then that I have tried to distance myself a bit. She even gets her eggs from a farm up the road that sells at their entrance with an honesty box. She just takes the eggs and does not pay. She also stole all her garden stuff from pubs and other peoples front gardens!

be careful she doesnt get light fingered in your house!

CharlieBilly

I just avoid her when possible and if you bump into her just think of an excuse

I would get rid nothing worse than a !free loader, I never buy gifts for people other than family anyway and thats few and far between, I like it that way saves all the aggravation

Pollycat

As some other posters have advised, I'd get her a card and then discourage her attempts at being too friendly.

I wouldn't go out of my way to upset her, after all she'll still be your neighbour and she sounds like someone you wouldn't really like to get on the wrong side of.

You sound really nice, I'm sure there'll be someone along who'll be a much better friend to you.

livalot

bella*donna wrote: »

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and she came round with a card and a box of milk tray. It's her birthday again in a couple of weeks and I don't know what to do. Should I get her a gift, or just a card?

I would give her exactly what she has given you..... a birthday card and a box of chocolates ..... simples

claretmatt

I would conveniently forget her birthday and get her nothing. If she mentions it then fain emabrrassment, promise to get her something and never do.

I tend to rid myself of people who take advantage of me and I think you should to as you sound far too nice.

RAS

Also, I would star making comments about how you are maxed out on your cards and having bother with repayments etc, whatever you fancy to make her think you are not a good place to get money.

Reggie_Rebel

Birthday? What Birthday?

Spend the money on a bumper pack of BluTak and make sure everything in your house is safe.

sara86pink

I would get her a card and a present to the similar value to the chocolates, there is no need to get her anything more expensive. It sounds like you are a much better friend to her than she is to you so she doesnt deserve a 'better' present.

It really does sound like she could be taking advantage and not realising at the time but maybe thinking to herself later on 'oh yeah I remember that now...' but then chooses to do nothing with it.

I would distance yourself from her so the friendship is still there so everything is still civil (nothing worse than an awkward neighbour!) but she no longer has to 'depend' on you.

Good luck

Felicity

What a nightmare!

I agree it would be best to just start avoiding her in future. Friends like this can make you question your own judgement over time and drag your confidence down.

I have a 'friend', not as bad as this but somebody I have known for a few years and it is a lot more subtle than you mention so it took me a long time to pick up on it. At first I just thought she was short of money so let a lot of things go, then I realised she just wouldnt make any effort (which costs no money) either.

Unfortunately I have to see her (due to family commitments) but now I offer nothing and don't go out of my way anymore. I know I have been taken advantage of seriously in the past but I am not going to be treaten like an idiot moving forwards.