MoneyMoral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay for the vase?

Hainlea

Would it not be easier to claim on your house insurance, after all thats what its for. Shame to lose a friend of value than a valueable vase.

flapjack_2

I'm in two minds on this one. As a one off genuine accident I'd say it's not worth risking a good friendship for, but I have a friend who when I knew him at art college took the p**s.
He'd ask to borrow my new books and he'd use them as coffee coasters or doodle in the margins [I even found one in the potato rack in the kitchen of his student digs, covered in mouldy potato fluids!], he'd ask to borrow my CDs and I'd find them scattered around his room in heaps and scratched outside of their boxes. :mad: It was almost like a reverse Midas touch... everything he touched turned to crap.
Admittedly he is incredibly dippy/clumsy and would regularly get away with stuff that most people would go balistic over, but there comes a point where after repeatedly breaking or messing up my stuff I felt the need to draw a line in the sand and get him to pay for the damage. I still to this day don't know if he lacks basic social awareness or whether he's a manipulative evil genius. But it left me feeling like a chump for trusting him again and again. I'd say one strike, two strikes tops but after that make them pay.

Marco12452

best thing to do is; ask her what she thinks about it and explain its value to you. At least it is out in the open then and she may offer to contribute to its replacement. If shes a true friend she wont be annoyed ?

harryhound

p_rushby wrote: »

how can a a person call someone a "friend" when that "friend" needs some financial help and the best the that can be offered to them is a bit of a unregulated part time cleaning job with all the unseen risks that can come along with that situation as per the broken vase. you quote that the cleaner is a "strange friend "for not offering to pay up or at least taking a wage reduction..i would say that the person offering the "help?" by the way of putting there friend to work is no friend at all . If a genuine friend is in trouble you should try to help them out by giving money or advice or support but not putting them in a situation were there old friend is now there employer, an employer/friend? who seems to be putting ther "friend?" in second place to a broken vase. Friend ? dont think so..

I think we have already done the helping a friend with money discussion - it is even more of a problem than paying them to break your ornaments.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/76953

Unfortunately the old saying that "expectation is a much stronger emotion than gratitude" holds true.

Big lottery winners who say "This won't make any difference to my family and friends" don't know what they are talking about. It is best of all to keep things on the basis of mutual presents if you can, even when the presents have a self evident value:

Eg How are you off for milk?
xxxxxxx
I'll just be popping into Farmfoods - where they are selling 4 litres for 1.50?
Oh that would be handy I've got the relations and their kids coming over at the weekend but...
No nO you can owe me, don't think about it.

Our American cousins never seem to understand why, when they genuinely give some banana republic untied aid, the local population still despise them.

paulie69_2

Yes you should, and if it cost £100 tell her it cost £300 the dosey cow, also sack her cos next time it will be your fav picture frame or your partners scotch decanter !!!!!! and if she is that short of cash is there not a job centre near you ? also paper boys and girls get £12.00 a week, were you paying her that much ? peanuts for monkeys springs to mind.
Kind Regards
Paul:rotfl:

Dave_Montford

Shorely the vase is covered for accidental damage on the persons home insurance.

If not it really should have been, if it is that valuable. If not have a word and see if you cannot claim off the cleaners home insurance policy, under public liability section, though as this was a paid occupation it may not cover it, as it may be seen as a commercial risk, should a friend visiting however have damaged the vase, you would almost certainly have been covered by their liability cover, in this case though you would have to check with the company, as terms vary greatly.

Snazbaz

Whether it was an accident or not, the fact remains that she broke the vase so yes, the friend who broke it should offer to pay, even if it's in instalments. It's the only decent thing to do. Too many people these days don't take responsibility for their own actions and try to wriggle out of their moral obligations and push the limits by relying on friendship. You shouldn't take friends for granted.

Personally, if I was the owner of the vase and my friend offered to repay me I would probably have said, it's OK, don't bother, I'll claim on the insurance - but I would have appreciated the offer and the friend would have gone up in my estimation.

Loobs27

Don't be daft - claim your home insurance - that's what you pay your premiums for. If your vase was that valuable and you don't have insurance then you can't blame anyone but yourself. What if a visitor had brushed against it and knocked it over - would you have expected them to pay for it?

MosesRoses

You should most definitely NOT demand that she pays. Clearly you are upset about the vase, but surely your friendship is worth more than a vase? It's just an object, isn't it, and I'm sure your life will not be adversely affected by the loss of that vase.

If I were the cleaning friend in this situation and someone asked me to pay for the broken vase, I'd pay up but that would be the end of our friendship. That said, I'd offer them money or a replacement in the first instance, and I wouldn't feel offended if they accepted my offer.

BeHopeful

No - I do not think you should ask your friend to replace the vase as it was an accident.

Your friend probably feels bad enough . Yes she did it in the course of her job but if she'd done it while visiting would you have asked her to replace it? Even tho she's your employee she's still your friend.

If she offers to replace it just react the same way you would have done if she (or any other friend) had broken it during a visit. Personally I would not require her to replace it.

On the off chance however that she just turns up one day with a replacement or bunch of flowers or whatever as an apology just accept her gesture graciously.

Good luck whatever you decide :0)