MoneyMoral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay for the vase?

fatal1955

1. Friends talk to each other, so discuss it; there may be other solutions like, for example, she pays for it when she has a decent full-time job again...
2. How are you paying her? Cash in hand? Are you complicit in her dodging tax? If so, posing a question on a money morality discussion board seems somewhat hypocritical, don't you think?

cazpost

You obviously claim it on your insurance,as it was broken accidentally. If she broke it deliberately thats another matter. You haven't told us what,if anything,she has said about it? Presumably she is feeling terrible and has apologised? If not,then you might want to consider your relationship anyway!

Pellyman

What, your 'friend' didn't immediately offer to pay for the vase either in full or by deduction from her wages or, at least, in the future?

Strange friends you've got!

pineapple

Strictly speaking she should be declaring the money and be paying public liability insurance. That's what it's for. But I don't expect she does declare it.
Check to see if your own insurance covers it. If it does, maybe she could pay any excess.
Otherwise I think she should offer to pay but I don't think you should ask. much less demand ('Make pay' sounds a bit incompatible between friends). But the issue is in any case that she is short of money. If I was her and couldn't afford it, I would offer to do some free work in lieu or reimburse gradually or at a later date.

starmanuk

I've had cleaners for many years now. When I've used a cleaner through an agency, they are quite clear that their staff will not be responsible for breakages. They advise if you are worried to put the item away or somewhere safe on cleaning day. I always found this acceptable. Even my current (and best ever) cleaner sometimes breaks something. It happens.

Have you never broken anything while cleaning? It is very sad, yes but that's they way the vase breaks.

tallgirld

No I wouldn't ask her to replace the vase NOR would I ask her to clean my house again.

Clumsy cow!!! :-)

crazycurls

Everyone is saying claim on the insurance but unless this is a very expensive vase the excess may well negate a claim and depending on the t&c's of your insurance potentially raise next years premium.


I wouldn't ask her to replace it as it was an accident or accept any offer from her. But tbh I would be wary of asking her to clean for me again.

Susan_Frost

No you should not expect your friend to pay, claim on your insurance.

As for 'docking pay' you would probably find yourself on the wrong side of the law. It is illegal to withhold wages.

hidchere

If it was a tv, washing machine or something that NEEDS to be replaced then yes but a VASE?!?! mental.... what sort of lunatic buys an expensive case in this day and age? let alone risk a friendship over it! and also buying expensive vases means you sholdnt even be on this site you maniac!

RuthnJasper

newtothemoneytips wrote: »

I was in a similar but awkward situation. I love my friend but she has no common sense, and it really winds my husband up. She came over to see me, and proceeded to dye her hair black in my living room, on my wooden floor. I was a bit taken aback by the lack of "can i dye my hair here" and when I asked her to do it in the bathroom, she told me she would be bored and "needs" to watch TV or she gets upset. She then tried to balance a decorative mirror against my quite expensive tv, and tried five times despite my husband saying - "dont do that, that will break the TV." Seeing that she wouldnt move, I got her a sheet to put on the floor so that she wouldnt damage my floor, as the house is also rented. She didnt use it, and when she flicked her head back, my floor, white walls and leather sofa were then sprayed with black hair dye. I, was very upset and my husband was lost for words. I received no apology, and she watched me (considering I have a physical disability as well) get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor. She just watched me. It took me forty minutes with everything in my cupboard to get most of it off, I had to repaint the wall at a later date. When I left the room, she said to my husband - "Do you think she is annoyed at me?" and then left the house without saying a word to me. She came back a week later and asked if I was going to apologise to her for making her uncomfortable in my house.



After that long story (sorry) - if your friend is inconsiderate about the whole thing, ask to replace. Did she stand there and watch you clean up the shards? Was she sorry? (i hope so, but my experience of a long term friendship would say its not always the case!)


On another matter, before this incident I also asked this woman to look after my children for the evening so I could actually go out (I struggle to afford childcare). When I came back the house was a mess and my children were hungry, I asked her what had happened. She said she couldnt be bothered to get up from the sofa to tidy her mess up (one example - She put her used plate under my sofa and left it there) and that she expected my eldest son to feed them. Hes not even in high school yet. Needless to say I was not happy and she did not babysit them again

My advice - dont hire friends so close to home, you find out what people are like and makes you wonder about your friendship. Stay ignorant !

Hi NewToTips,

That girl sounds like a nightmare! How rude and ignorant; I can't blame your hubby for being ticked-off. Please tell me she doesn't have any of her OWN children...?!

Best Wishes,
R x