MoneyMoral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay for the vase?

lutzi1

It could just as easily have got broken if you'd been cleaning yourself - stuff happens.

roses

Insurance only covers you if you have accidental insurance.

I'd ask her to replace it and as neneromanova, she should have offered.

Missconduct

I agree that she should offer but I think it's a good example of why it's a bad idea to mix business with pleasure.

gaily

A true friend would offer to replace it - whether they could afford to or not (make payments back over time etc)

You'd then be in the position to say it was a gift from the ex or their mum, and you're far happier without it, or that you understand she can't afford to pay it all back at once, but as it was an accident, what could she afford to pay.

Insurance is great (if you have accdiental damage cover), but there's always an excess to pay, and people forget that by making a relatively small claim, that they could be penalised by the insurers next year - in my experince by up to 5% of the annual premium for making 1 claim.

Also, if this isn't the first such small claim, you'll really get hammered at renewal.

Morse999

A responsible person would have their contents of the house insured....would she expect her friend to pay if she had badly damaged a "Van Gogh" or similar masterpiece?, Essentially there is no difference.

tanith

No my friends are more important than any vase... she probably feels bad enough already

andyroberts1967

gaily wrote: »

A true friend would offer to replace it - whether they could afford to or not (make payments back over time etc)

You'd then be in the position to say it was a gift from the ex or their mum, and you're far happier without it, or that you understand she can't afford to pay it all back at once, but as it was an accident, what could she afford to pay.

Insurance is great (if you have accdiental damage cover), but there's always an excess to pay, and people forget that by making a relatively small claim, that they could be penalised by the insurers next year - in my experince by up to 5% of the annual premium for making 1 claim.

Also, if this isn't the first such small claim, you'll really get hammered at renewal.

That's why you shop around at renewal time, if your current insurance provider comes up with an inflated premium you just use a comparison site and find the cheapest quote. Then you call them up to tell them they're not the cheapest, and invariably they'll match the quote. That's been my experience with Direct Line anyway.

With regards to the dilemma, of course I wouldn't ask the friend to pay for it, even if she insisted, I would refuse. However, if I had been the friend, I would definitely have offered to pay, and even if she said no, then I might have been tempted to source another vase and present it to her at a later date (depending on the cost of course).

babyjaike

I seem to be in the minority here....but I think she should pay to replace the vase!
I don't think 'friend' comes into it. She damaged an item of yours so should put things right.
If you were looking after someones child and they broke an item then tough- they were in your care, so your responsibility. This is an adult who must be responsible for their actions.
Yes it was an accident but why should you have the hasle of a claim or increased premiums next renewal because of her?
(shops put up signs saying 'all breakages must be paid for' they have their own insurance for their own misfortunes - not our clumsiness)
Lesson to learn - never mix business with pleasure!

If however, you didn't like the vase and if offered the money wouldn't replace it anyway, then thats another story....

Money_saving_Martyn

I think the important thing here is the fact it was a birthday present.

Surely, if anything, it's the sentimental value (if any) rather than the value that's important when it was a gift?

If a friend of mine broke something as an accident, whether cleaning or not, I wouldn't demand or expect that they pay. Accidents happen. You can live without vase too! I don't really have anything in my house I'd be scared of breaking - I could live without many things until I could buy a replacement.

Interesting to see people suggesting if I they'd done it, they'd have offered to pay but wouldn't accept money if their friend offered - this shows how unnecessarily complex British social norms are!:rotfl: If you wouldn't accept, don't expect!

elizabethhull

I've been on both sides of this. When someone smoked over my tracksuit decades ago and burnt holes in it, I accepted their offer to pay, but that is the only time. Other times I have appreciated their apology and said not to pay.
The friend whose plate I broke whilst at dinner said, 'You are friends. A plate is just a plate'. (it was a rather good plate too.
All in all, a friend should offer to pay and the offer should not be accepted. That is the way good manners work.
Incidentally, anyone thinking of emplying carers to do washing-up for eg aged parents would be well advised to get spare crockery from a charity shop as breakages are all too common !!