TAXIS...Beating the cancer and clearing the mortgage the final hurdle.

Keeping_Motivated

For what its worth I think you're right in your decision plus even if you were well enough to take him now temporarily while they assess DD what good would that do? It may make her think she an carry on as she is because her son is safe every time she has a wobble because you come to the rescue so what reason would she have to change? If he goes into temporary care there is a chance that will be the rock bottom she needs rather than you catching her before she falls if that makes sense.

Obviously then if she doesn't make the changes she needs to then when you are well you can make your decisions then to take DGS if necessary.

macgirl

Morning Taxi, hope you managed to get some sleep. I was thinking - do you have some relaxation stuff you can listen to? When I had my anxiety attacks, I listened to them and went to a calm and stressfree place. I listen to them now if I feel stressed. I'm sure it would have a calming and positive effect on your body and aid healing.

Sounds like you've come to the right decision.

I'd echo what KM said about DD having to really face the stark consequences to shock her into action. Like you said, you have bigger stuff to deal with. I know it's different, but I never learned to stand on my own two feet financially as my Mum and Dad always bailed me out. It was only when I got with DH and he put his foot down and wouldn't let me borrow any more from them, that I learnt.

And also agree with Urg - Grr to them both, they need a good slap for doing this to you right now. Hugs and calmness to you xxx

taxi73

I just feel selfish not just taking him in and thinking of myself getting well which of course is the most sensible thing to do.

Part of my reasoning is to allow her to fall flat on her face or come to her senses ..as you say I can't always rescue them.So if needs be he can be assessed in care but SS needs to know I'm here for him and in the meantime I'll concentrate on getting well and if theres no improvement /cooperation from her with SSthen I will pursue a custody order or whatever so he doesn't end up in care.

If needs be I will sell this house and buy a bigger one or rent one..there's always an answer to everything.

hopefully she'll change and all will be well.

macgirl

taxi73 wrote: »

I just feel selfish not just taking him in and thinking of myself getting well which of course is the most sensible thing to do.

Part of my reasoning is to allow her to fall flat on her face or come to her senses ..as you say I can't always rescue them.So if needs be he can be assessed in care but SS needs to know I'm here for him and in the meantime I'll concentrate on getting well and if theres no improvement /cooperation from her with SSthen I will pursue a custody order or whatever so he doesn't end up in care.

If needs be I will sell this house and buy a bigger one or rent one..there's always an answer to everything.

hopefully she'll change and all will be well.

Aw, bless you Taxi, she's got such a good Mum :A It is hard to have to stand back and watch her fall, but even if you were well - it is probably the best thing - in a "cruel to be kind" kind of way.

My friend used to be a SW in Child protection and she said they always try to keep the family together, taking a child into care is the last resort. So the fact that he's happy and well cared for is a good sign.

I think you're right to let SS know about your position, then in the New Year when you are back to full strength, you can act. But by then, things might have worked out and you won't need to take such drastic action. At the moment looking after a 5 year old is too much work for you.

For now, you just need to full up your cup and watch from the sidelines. Take care, we're all here for you xxx

Karmacat

I'm glad to hear of the decision you've reached Taxi, to put your own recovery first - I know its heartbreaking for you, I can hear it in every word, but it would be useless to JJ to have you have some sort of relapse/breakdown ....

With love.

taxi73

I am sure they'd rather me have him than be in care...so that's a good thing.
just need to get well now..so they can't hold that against me.
time for a sleep again I think as I've been up since 4am

GreyhoundAngel

Just dropping in to see how you are Hun,

I can only echo what others have said.... I know it must have been a very hard decision for you to reach.

Not only are you one of the most family orientated people I've ever come accross, but you are always always genuinely concerned about others ..... complete "strangers" .... and yet despite what you are going through personally ... you still take the time to post words of encouragement to them.

God bless ya Taxi, you's a gal in a mill :grinheart

Take care of you
G:A xxx

Dumyat

I'm a bit of lurker here, but Taxi its like the safety presentation on an aeroplane when they tell you to make sure your oxygen mask is on before you try and help others. Its not being selfish.

I wish you and your family well. x

taxi73

thanks you two xxxx

really must have a sleep now xx

beanielou

Hope you managed to have a nice sleep.