TAXIS...Beating the cancer and clearing the mortgage the final hurdle.

taxi73

DD1 has always been very headstrong and defiant but not this bad.
I haven't spoke to SS as don't know whether that will make things worse...I've talked to DD until I'm blue in the face...if she cooperates with them they can do the assesment at home if not they will do the assesment with him in care...she shuts off sometimes and won't answer the phone to me but I need to try and keep getting through to her.

Keeping_Motivated

Awe Taxi this is an impossible situation for you.

This organisation is in Blackpool http://www.grandparentsasparents.org.uk/

Although you are not at this stage it might be worthwhile speaking to them for some confidential advice if you don't yet want to speak to Social Services.

Also there is a very helpful Social Worker on this site who you could maybe PM without giving names so you feel 'safe' and she may be able to give you some advice on what steps to take while you feel in limbo and scared you might make things worse if you speak to SS. Would you like me to send you her user name?

taxi73

that would be handy thanks..there are a few sws on here...

taxi73

just looked at that site and very useful

Keeping_Motivated

Taxi I've Pm'd you with her username, let me know if there are any problems.

taxi73

thanks replied to it.

hypno06

See, the support from this site is second to none - within an hour or so of posting and not being able to see a way out, there is someone able to offer practical support. That is what I love about this place.

I wish I was able to come up with something constructive, but I really wouldn't know where to start. I will, however, think very positively - for you, for your children and for the grandkids. And if there *is* anything that I can do, please let me know.

Take care of you x

Seaxwyn

HI taxi, I'm so sorry to hear about it all, what a worrying situation. I hope the social services or one of the support organisations can help. Even though you are ill and not in a state to care for the children at present, I am sure that if they know there is a very responsible and caring grandmother in the picture, that will make a big difference to their decisions about what is best for the children.

tunathe_cat

taxi
thinking of you and your family - i hope you all find the best outcome for your grandchildren
wishing you all a healthy year ahead too

ZTD

taxi73 wrote: »

DD1 has always been very headstrong and defiant but not this bad.
I haven't spoke to SS as don't know whether that will make things worse...I've talked to DD until I'm blue in the face...if she cooperates with them they can do the assesment at home if not they will do the assesment with him in care...she shuts off sometimes and won't answer the phone to me but I need to try and keep getting through to her.

Although it may have worked in the past to out-obstinate a mother who just wanted a break from it, she's going to find it difficult to out-obstinate someone who just does this for 7 hours a day then hands over to someone else who does it for 7 hours, who hands it over to someone else - etc. The rules have changed, but she has not.

Ultimately, it is DDs call - not yours - and you should not be going round feeling responsible for it. There is a time when they are no longer children, but adults - at that point, you're not able to save them from themselves.

It is harsh on DGS and on you, but sometimes people can't be told about something - they have to find it out for themselves by smashing their face into it. Sometimes repeatedly.

:grouphug:

At least with DS, it's just inattention on his part, and so easily sorted.