Clearmydebts - new chapter to becoming debt free before moving home

wendz86

Glad to hear it is not just me then! Poppy is doing well, eating constantly but seems to be doing her good as we think she is growing!

savingholmes

I've been having to directly ask my OH to do things in the same way I do the kids. I think women have a continual mental list running of all the things that need doing and blokes seem to go round in a little bubble blissfully unaware until we rudely interrupt them.

It's my DD's party tomorrow and my OH had planned to have a friend round to help him fix his motorbike...!!! I put the stoppers on that! He is also complaining as I am planning to do the makeup and nails for the kids in the kitchen while the boys supervise the kids doing wii games, pass the parcel etc. He wanted to throw a strop about it. I've spent hours buying all the pressies and stuff for the party - I got DS to wrap the pressies for me... what is his problem!! He even whinged tonight when I asked him to recharge the batteries for the wii!!

I have got a lot more done recently tho thro directly asking him - and since they are not mind readers that definitely seems the way to go...

I can't remember which one of you was the new mum... but I can remember when I had DS I just was desperately worried I would ruin his childhood and that I wouldn't be a good enough mum - now they are 13 and 8 - I am finally starting to accept that I am good enough, and I am doing a good enough job...! Try not to over-worry but at the same time recognise it seems to be natural for women to want to be super-women even tho there really isn't any such thing.... there is only glossy media advertising that makes people think it exists.... Life is not a disney moment! HTH

clearmydebts

Hi all,
I had a lovely girlie weekend in a beautiful hotel in Dublin. Max didn't sleep very well when I was gone (I think he was missing me) but he slept through again last night so he must have been unsettled in himself. I shopped til I dropped and also got some spa treatments and spent time with 3 other uni friends which was lovely. The hotel room also had a beautiful free standing bath tub so got to have a long soak. Bliss
I am so mad with OH though. Before I went I bathed Max on Friday morning before I went to creche in case OH didn't have a chance to bath him again before I came back on Sunday afternoon (he didn't as it happens). I also made sure the place was reasonably tidy, left soup for both of them for lunch for 2 days, did an online shop to make sure that there was enough nice food in (inc wine & choc for OH) and laid out 2 outfits for Max for Saturday and Sunday so OH wouldn't have to look for them in the drawers.
The place was pretty much a tip when I came back which I don't mind as Max can cause a mess in 5 mins. Lol! What annoyed me was this morning when Max woke up at 6.30am instead of giving him his bottle in his cot (like we have been doing for the past week) OH brought him into the bed and woke me up. All last week he has been having his bottle in his cot and as he never sleeps the full 12 hours sometimes he has been falling back asleep for 1/2 hour to an hour and being in much better form. He sometimes doesn't go back asleep but it gives me an extra 1/2 hour sleep as it takes him that length to savour the bottle (he likes to take his time!).
Then when I got up (admittedly in bad form) I realised there were no clean trousers for Max to wear. All of them were dirty. So even though I went to the trouble of ironing and laying them out for OH at the weekend, and despite the fact that OH and Max are flying to Ireland in 2 days, OH never put on a wash at the weekend and Max is left with no clean bottoms.
I just feel that OH is selfish and doesn't return the same respect to me that I give him. We had a huge row this morning and I told him where to go. How hard is it to make sure a few trousers are washed?
I am fuming at the moment.

clearmydebts

Moneywise things are not great. I spent some money over the weekend and put some more money on the credit card, although I hope I can pay back more money into it to balance it out. I just can't wait to get paid this month. It seems to have gone on forever. OH also seems to be constantly overdrawn so I might have to manage his as well. I think he might be due some sort of bonus in his pay cheque this month but he always uses it to pay off his overdraft and then racks it up again so I may take it and use it to pay off some of the Virgin credit card.

clearmydebts

savingholmes wrote: »

I've been having to directly ask my OH to do things in the same way I do the kids. I think women have a continual mental list running of all the things that need doing and blokes seem to go round in a little bubble blissfully unaware until we rudely interrupt them.

It's my DD's party tomorrow and my OH had planned to have a friend round to help him fix his motorbike...!!! I put the stoppers on that! He is also complaining as I am planning to do the makeup and nails for the kids in the kitchen while the boys supervise the kids doing wii games, pass the parcel etc. He wanted to throw a strop about it. I've spent hours buying all the pressies and stuff for the party - I got DS to wrap the pressies for me... what is his problem!! He even whinged tonight when I asked him to recharge the batteries for the wii!!

I have got a lot more done recently tho thro directly asking him - and since they are not mind readers that definitely seems the way to go...

I can't remember which one of you was the new mum... but I can remember when I had DS I just was desperately worried I would ruin his childhood and that I wouldn't be a good enough mum - now they are 13 and 8 - I am finally starting to accept that I am good enough, and I am doing a good enough job...! Try not to over-worry but at the same time recognise it seems to be natural for women to want to be super-women even tho there really isn't any such thing.... there is only glossy media advertising that makes people think it exists.... Life is not a disney moment! HTH

Totally agree with you about the supermum thing SavingH. I am happy with the way I am with Max, although I could probably play with him a bit more than I do. He is a happy little chappy and I spend a lot of time cuddling him and making sure he eats well, gets to see other children, sees his grandparents etc.

I don't think this supermum thing exists. You have to be happy that you are trying enough. I could never and would never want to be the supermum the media portray. I think something would have to give!

clearmydebts

wendz86 wrote: »

Glad to hear it is not just me then! Poppy is doing well, eating constantly but seems to be doing her good as we think she is growing!

Are you feeding her yourself Wendz?

Dinah93

Sorry to hear you're having such a stressfull time CMD, and it's always so much worse when you're tired. I hope you and your OH can find a way to make you feel more supported soon. Is he just oblivious to what needs doing, or is he 'I'll do it in a bit' type?

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're having such a stressfull time CMD, and it's always so much worse when you're tired. I hope you and your OH can find a way to make you feel more supported soon. Is he just oblivious to what needs doing, or is he 'I'll do it in a bit' type?

Oblivious I think, or just used to me doing it and doesn't think now. It's not done in a bad way, and he is fab with Max, but his thought process isn't the same as mine.

The bit about bringing Max into the bed was just done out of habit and 'not thinking' because he was tired.

The washing of the clothes wasn't done because he hasn't put on a wash, or ironed for years, because I do it. I am very tempted not to have his clothes ready for Ireland on Thursday but it wouldn't be worth seeing him run around looking for them. It would stress me out too.

I also asked him to book a flight to Ireland for me at the weekend, as I ran out of time on Friday. Surprise surprise - it wasn't done and when I booked it yesterday it cost £30 more. He also didn't eat the soup I made for him and didn't freeze it (despite knowing I love my homemade soup) so that is wasted and he made a chicken stew for Max on Friday (2 dinners worth) but left it out overnight so it was wasted too (and we buy free range chicken so not cheap).

He is dizzy but I am getting so sick of it.

Dinah93

You sound like I felt when I came back from Turkey - I threw about £10 of meat and veg in the bin that had gone off while he ate all the frozen pizzas! Seeing me have a mini meltdown over his disorganisation was enough to kick NIM into gear, I hope it works the same with your OH, I can't imagine how much harder it is with a little one to organise too.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

You sound like I felt when I came back from Turkey - I threw about £10 of meat and veg in the bin that had gone off while he ate all the frozen pizzas! Seeing me have a mini meltdown over his disorganisation was enough to kick NIM into gear, I hope it works the same with your OH, I can't imagine how much harder it is with a little one to organise too.

Thanks Dinah,

Yeah - hopefully he will cop on a bit when I chat to him tonight. I will seriously have to give him a rota soon if he doesn't start thinking for himself.