Gets better and better - Crazy EX has decided to miraculously rename our daughter!

Supermom

My sister spend hours with my daughter when she was quite young, teaching her her name, now she has gone and brainwashed her with the incorrect name!

Why did your sister spend hours teaching your daughter her name???

Brainwashing??

I think you need to take a step back, children are people not something you own. One day your daughter will grow up and probably get married will you have such a fit over her changing her name then?

LJM

i think she can call her what she likes in the case of usage but as you are on birth certificate she may need your permission to change it leagally. try going down to CAB see if they can help you or give you any more information,hope you get it sorted out

Mrs_Imp

Most people do teach their children what their name is. It means that if they got lost in a shop an announcement can be made. It also means that the child knows their own name, like you or I do. Kind of useful really.

nomnomnom

ses6jwg wrote: »

As is usually the case on this forum.... any request for advice from a single father gets battered into submission by a woman scorned....

errr... big assumption there! I'm not a woman scorned and yet I agree with MrsBartolozzi.

But if I was your ex and I'd changed my own name back to my maiden name, I'd probably want to change the kids names to mine as well. As it is, I'm not married but I chose the father's name for my kids and because of this I always get called "Mrs *****" because people assume I am married. It must annoy your ex a lot. In the end it's not official, so why let it bother you? Seems like it's just because you feel she is doing it in spite, but maybe she isn't being spiteful.

ses6jwg

Supermom wrote: »

My sister spend hours with my daughter when she was quite young, teaching her her name, now she has gone and brainwashed her with the incorrect name!

Why did your sister spend hours teaching your daughter her name???

Brainwashing??

I think you need to take a step back, children are people not something you own. One day your daughter will grow up and probably get married will you have such a fit over her changing her name then?

Because that's what you do with young children, you teach them their name?

Me and the ex were still together when she learned her name.

squashy

The school's computerised systems show both "legal name" and "preferred name". The preferred name will be generically used, but for official data like attendance it will be the legal name. This name can't be changed without sight of a legal document, but the preferred name can be Captain Jack Sparrow if someone asks school to note it!

FWIW in my school there are tens of children with differences in the two. In fact my own cousin has changed her name (well, not really!) about three times based on her realtionship with her father/step fathers!

tattycath

Sorry but i am a single parent and when I split up with my partner of over 10 yrs I kept the childrens names as they were-they have his surname and I saw no reason to change this - even though it was an acromonious (sp) split. We were at logger heads over many things but the children were and still are paramount. They were given a name-and it still stands unless they decide they want to change it themselves when they are older. i have no problem with them having their dads' name. My children and i have different names to one another (obviously they share their surname and mine is different). That said i have had no issues at schools or anywhere else-it's part of their identity. If and when i ever re-marry I shall not be changing their names-it doesn't make a child any more or less of a family member if they have a different name. it's only a problem when a paranoid parent makes it an issue and decides to change it on a whim or to get back at an ex.
I will probably be flamed for this but the OP is in order at being irked at the change of name-I would be annoyed too. Some ex partners (PWCs) say everything is for the good of the child when really they are using the child/children as a weapon to suit their own selfish ends.

the_cat

ses6jwg wrote: »

As is usually the case on this forum.... any request for advice from a single father gets battered into submission by a woman scorned.... Hmmmm, not bitter at all, are we?:rotfl:


I don't want her name changed because that's her name. That's what she was given at birth and that's what I want it to stay as until she gets married..........I want, I want, I want

I don't give a stuff how the ex "feels" about it because she brought the whole situation on herself. Nope definately not bitter!

I love my daughter and want the best for her. I don't believe changing her name is in her interests. The end. The best thing for your daughter is to live in harmony with the adults around her. Stop getting in a strop over incidentals. The time to kick off is when you are denied access or something is wrong with your daughters welbeing. The end![/QUOTE]

Your daughter is half your child and half her mother's. Both of you want her to have your own names and she probably will never give a hoot. Both of you should grow up, actually start putting her first instead of talking about it and stop petty point scoring against each other

pigpen

My stepbrother has my fathers name on EVERYTHING.. it was his name throughout school and as an adult.. he has never had any problem getting a bank account or passport or anything else.. mainly because places refuse to take your birth certificate as Id..

you can call yourself whatever you please..

I do understand why you are furious.. I wouldn't be best pleased in your shoes either..

You can stop her changing the surname LEGALLY because you would have to sign to say that was ok with you.. which I get the impression you'll not be doing any time soon.. so other than it is not her given name and is more evidence of her trying to push you out of your daughters life I don't see what you can do about it.. other than ask her nicely to stop being so silly confusing the child in such a manner.

Having a different surname to your siblings is a pathetic excuse for changing a childs surname. Between my 9 siblings and myself we have 6 surnames. we are not confused by this.. it is just the same as having a different christian name.. we know why it is and accept that.

I would see if it is possible to contest it.. as you are still having contact with the child it seems very petty and immature of the ex to be doing something like this..

I do feel for you.. children are very astute and she will soon realise what is going on.. and possibly play up to it.. I'd have a quick word with your solicitor and see what their views are and if there is anything you can do.

LillythePink

I can sympathise with the OP on this and can see why he is upset - it's bad enough that his daughter has been taken away from him without his name being taken away as well - it's like the final thing to say that she is his (to the outside world)

I have a child by my ex and she still has his surname and I have no plan to change it - she would like it changed though she doesn't like having a different name and does constantly bring it up (I am remarried) she is 10 so is in more of a position to know what she wants, but unless my hub adopts her then it won't happen until she is legally allowed to change it herself (if she still wants to)

OP - try to keep calm about it and not get bitter - find out the legalities of it all then you can try and see where you go from there