Time seems passing so quick and no luck to find a new partner... any ideas please!!

PicnicBasket_2

I read it as genuine, but perhaps as being from someone who might have English as a second language.

System

Again, thank you all sooo much.
Blue

Errata

I had baggage too

So why mention it ? It will be a red flag to many, who will think ' oh oh, why is she drawing my attention to it - something nasty in the cellar there'.
It's a bit like the blokes who say they are 'tactile - makes women run a mile in the opposite direction!

whitelillies

Baggage from a new potential partner, boyfriend or whoever you may meet is only a problem if you make it a problem. Once you get to know them and they get to know you they will see thats all in the past and if you make them see what a wonderful person you are they will move on. Hopefully to a new relationship with you. You cant change there past, you can only help them move on and start afresh.

ecgirl07

my wee mammy once told me "everyone has baggage, you just got to find someone with compatible baggage!"

heretolearn_2

I don't think you are actually ready for a new serious relationship - what you are looking for is a bit of fun! Nothing wrong with that if you are honest about it. People wanting serious relationships have a list of 'wants' but they are on serious issues re personality etc, not on daft things like must be within a 2" height boundary! Date, have fun, don't be on the look-out for 'Mr Right'. He'll pop up at some point and he'll probably be nothing like the men you want to see on a casual basis.

I was in much the same situation. Stayed single for 2 years to sort my head out and get used to being on my own, then dated several men on a casual basis, just for company, going out, and also to practise all this stuff again. I hadn't dated since I was 16 years old so started off acting very weird! Nice men, I knew they were not going to be for me as a permanent feature, I was honest about that, we had some good times and parted as friends.

Then up pops an acquaintance with a blind date for me. I had to have my arm thoroughly twisted into it. If you'd asked either of us for a list of 'must have's' we wouldn't be on each others list - but somehow it worked and here we are 10 years later. When it comes to a real partnership, you have to be flexible over the shallower 'must have's' such as age and height and looks and background and so on. It's the person inside that you have a relationship with. YOur sole mate might be 10 years older/younger than you, or 4 inches shorter than you, or have black hair when you've always gone for blondes, but that person might be the one to make the rest of your life happy. What's more important, that or and inch of height?

sock-knitter

i once met a guy from a dating site who had turned 40, and had no baggage, perfect i thought, but it wasnt to be, this man still lived with his mum, and expected me to carry on that role for him., that didnt last long i can tell you lol

Fang_3

You're trying to compete with women years younger than you, for men who may very well be seriously thinking about children, and you can't give them that. You have neither youth, (comparable) beauty or a womb function on your side. Widen your criteria, or you'll end up alone.

hot.chick

I think if you want a man with no children then hold out - yes you are making the field thinner on the ground - but so what it's your choice!!!

I knew I didn't want to date a man who had children, I waited and I found one - everyone told me I was wrong and what if I met the perfect man but he had a child - ddeerr he wouldn't be the perfect man then!!!

Hold out - enjoy your life and may I also recomend a book called 'the rules' I recommend it to all of my single friends and they all love it.

I am now happily married, after lots of internet dating, going out, lots of first dates that never went any further, I had a great sinlge life and wouldn't change a thing about it...

You know what you want - go out there and wait for the right one - but have fun along the way

Good luck
xx

ali-t

Fang wrote: »

You're trying to compete with women years younger than you, for men who may very well be seriously thinking about children, and you can't give them that. You have neither youth, (comparable) beauty or a womb function on your side. Widen your criteria, or you'll end up alone.

Ouch, that hurt!