Stop being a Wimp!... DMP Journey

Chrisblue1962

Hi Ellieseleven

I just popped in to give you vitual hugs and say that you are in my thoughts. I have a Mum who is in her 80's and she is thankfully in good health but still a worry. I cannot imagine how distressing it was finding out your Mum is unwell but I wish you and your Mum heartfelt best wishes now and for the future.

Keep Fighting and keep thinking positive things.

Moneywhizz

Glad to hear better news about your mum.You must be relieved. Concerning selling the house, It all depends on your plans after the sale. If it is to split the equity and go your separate ways, there doesn't seem much point in continuing to subsidise your oh for another few years, and building up more equity for him. You need to know for sure what you are planning to do and work out the best way for you. Wishing you well whatever you decide. x

Ellieseleven

Thanks for the good wishes for my mum everyone. It is a stressful time but we are taking it a step at a time and trying to stay positive.

I've given my head a wobble regarding selling the house early so thanks for for the advice. I know deep down that now is not the right time to move so we plod on! At least Spring is on it's way and better weather, I really hate the Winter which is partly why I am looking to retire abroad.:o

I'm continuing with my challenges and have had some success with the NSD'S and I haven't bought any clothes yet this year but I am thinking about shoes...a lot!

March is a very busy month for birthdays in our family so my NSD days may come in for a bit of a bashing this month but trying for a total of 15 and I'm on track so far.

Just reached £200 in the save for Xmas 2015 challenge so this is totting up nicely.

I've started doing a couple of surveys which I will put away for the dreaded Winter months when we rely solely on my income.

OH is continuing using tobacco instead of buying cigarettes and this is really helping and I don't feel so resentful. He is being very reasonable at the moment but it is difficult living with this Jekyll and Hyde character although I'm not knocking it whilst we're on an even keel. He is also addressing his drinking which is another bone of contention, this is health related but The jury's out whether he can actually cut it down...we'll see:o

Take care all

Ellie xx

Ellieseleven

New month and I love Spring so feel so much better than during the dark Winter nights;)

Updated my signature with the new balance of debt owing and we are now at £14,680 which in itself is spurring me on to keep going and if anything I am trying to be even more MSE than usual. The total figure seems to be dropping more quickly now but maybe that is psychological, whatever it is, it has a positive effect.

My next big milestone is to reach 75% paid back (August) with a few smaller ones along the way.

I have made one purchase in my clothes challenge so far and spent £16 on a new top for work so still on track to remain within budget for the year.

Doing well with the NSD challenge and managed to hit my target of 15 for March. I wasn't sure that I would make this as March is a busy month for birthdays in our family:o

My tin with my Christmas money is really heavy now and I have bought a second one as I'm optimistic that I'm going to fill the first.

Doing a couple of surveys each day to try and build up a bit of cash towards Birthdays, Christmas etc. and doing quite well so far but I do lose interest in these things so we'll see.

OH is his usual erratic self, he has his first job of the year and has managed to span it out over 3 weeks so far...the customer is losing patience so I don't think that they will be coming back. He will earn £350 in total for this job, this would have been a good income if he had taken the 4 days he quoted but now it works out at about £23 per day and that's if he finishes in 15 working days but I'm not holding my breath:( Sometimes I wonder what exactly is going through his head??????????

Take care all
Ellie xx

[Deleted User]

Lovely to see you so upbeat as we start a new month, Ellie:T

I'm with you in wondering what's going through your OH's head:eek:. I'm not sure what line of work he's in but it sounds as if he's forgotten how important reliability and keeping his word is when working on projects for paying customers. Doesn't he realise that a lot of future work comes via personal recommendation from satisfied customers? Irritating them and letting them down isn't exactly the way to go:eek:

This may have been suggested before so forgive me if it has, and forgive me if you think it's an intrusive question, but do you think OH is depressed? I don't just mean 'fed up' and down in the dumps, we all can feel like that from time to time, but suffering from a severe depressive illness? It just sounds as if he has 'given up' and has little interest in life any more, almost couldn't care less what happens to him. Getting him to admit this and seek help is a totally different matter, you can hardly frogmarch him to his GP! He doesn't sound like the type of guy you can reason with over such things and you probably wouldn't want to risk having the initial conversation about it with him. Just a thought, for what it's worth:o.

Have a great month. Well done on all your efforts, you're an inspiration:beer:

Ellieseleven

Thanks for your reply Carbootcrazy and I don't think that you are being intrusive at all;)

I think you are right that he may be depressed and it is knowing how to tackle it. Over the last few years he has become more and more unreliable but this has been confined to family members but I noticed last year that even his customers are suffering and one by one they are not asking for his services any more. He is a gardener so his work is very seasonal anyway.

The job that he is working on should have taken 4 days to complete (he is removing some turf and laying flags instead) but he keeps disappearing off from the job, he is going to our daughter's (she has told me that he keeps turning up). The lady he is working for rang him whilst he was at home and I could hear her shouting which is why I know she is unhappy.

He seems to be full of good intentions of what he is going to do but then when it comes to it, nothing happens.

He is under the doctor for other issues but I'm not sure how to approach the subject of depression with him...hmm, I'll think of a way.

Ellie xx

Ellieseleven

A challenging month so far for me work wise, I am booked to be away for 8 weeks in total. So far, whilst I have been on a DMP I have managed to cover my expenses whilst I'm away but 8 weeks is going to be tough:o

When I took this job, I was promised all sorts including, that I would never be away for such a long period. I've been approached by a couple of agencies offering me contract work and it is something that I am going to consider. I could more than double my salary over 12 months which would allow me to pay off my debts quicker.

I've always avoided contract work as One of us has to be in secure employment but as I move closer to my DFD and retirement, this could just be the answer;)

Ellie xx

Ellieseleven

Part way through my stint working away from home and so far have managed to keep within my expense budget and not spending any money whilst I am away.

On the debt-busting front, we have paid back almost 70% of our debt;) This feels fantastic and is helping to keep me focused and on track as I feel we have now turned a corner and becoming debt-free is a real possibility in the not too distant future.

When I look back to the early days just before our DMP and remember how I felt (the feelings of hopelessness will stay with me forever) and how far I have come, the sense of achievement is enormous and the lessons I have learnt will remain with me always.:o

This year I will finish paying two of my debts and I have several other milestones along the way. Next year, as long as things remain the same, it will be downhill all the way.

For anyone reading this who is starting out, keep with it - believe me it will be worth it in the end:)

Take care all
Ellie xx

Chrisblue1962

Hi Ellie

Just popped over to see how you are and it's nice to see that things are looking positive by the sound of it. I think half of the battle is seeing how far one has travelled and that becoming debt-free IS possible.

I've still got a fair way to go but I know I WILL succeed, thanks to positive examples like yourself.

My bit of good news , my OH was recently interviewed for her job - Agency temp to perm situation and got it!!!. Huge sighs of relief all round! .

Keep Going Ellie, we're all rooting for you.

Ellieseleven

Fantastic news for you and your wife Chris, I am so pleased for you!

It's great to have some good news for a change;)