It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

mardatha

You need to be firm with kids and you need to keep on being firm even when you're so knackered you want to die. They need to know they arent the boss. Otherwise life gets very messy. xxx stay strong pet !

JulieGeorgiana

AnnieG - I find talking to my son as though he was an adult helps. If he responds childishly, I tell him he has a choice... We can keep talking... or I can walk away! Our children love us... and they want our attention... so he listens.

Also, don't let him kick or punch you... you don;t want him to think this is acceptable behaviour when you don't get what you want. Tell him you will punish him, and do it... and don't give in!

I once put my sons TV, computer, DVD player in a box and told him he had to earn them back with good behaviour... 1 a week... 3 bad strikes... and he'd get nothing that week!

Took him 4 weeks!!

I felt so bad... but at the time we went through 6 months of misbehaviour (ie. not respecting authority) and were at out wits end... and that was the turning point. He learned who was in charge and he respects us more now.

And since I lost my job, he doesn't even ask for sweets!

pink_numbers

penelopedee wrote: »

Pink, it will be ok, try and relax now and get some sleep.

You are prepared and you have a plan, just see what happens.

Thank you, your comment is so kind, it's just what I needed.

:A

JulieGeorgiana

pink_numbers wrote: »

I mentioned before that OH may have to leave his work due to health reasons. Well, for now, we've decided to see how it goes, but just in case things get tough we're going to act like he doesn't have a job and save as much as we can where we can...

sounds very good... until now!! I've had a few days to think about this now, and suddenly have become very scared. We have my income, and we know on paper, we can do this, but saying it and doing it are two very different things, aren't they?

After I lost my job last year (office closure), I got a new one relatively quickly... but decided to 'pretend' we just had my Husbands income...

I paid for anything work related (childcare and extra car expenses) with my wages and we saved the rest!

We saved and saved... we paid off our last debt (2 years early) 1 week before I was made redundant (AGAIN)... we are debt free and able to manage on my husbands wage alone!

10 months ago it was hard, we dipped into the savings all the time... after 10 months though it's easier... and we are doing better all the time...

it's a good idea to trail it... after time, you get used to the changes... and when he gives up... you will be ready and prepared!

Good luck x

Annie56

pink_numbers

just a quick good luck with your plan...I didnt have time to plan my potential future, its here, and Im coping, but to have planned forthe potential eventuality of it is an excellent idea....once again good luck and wow at bieng prepared I think thats very forward thinking and Im sure it will all work out.

Annie56

pink_numbers

Thank you JulieGeorgiana, it's so good to hear about others that have done it and come out of it so well. You know in your head it's going to be ok (especially when you're only 'pretending' things are bad), but it's still very scary trying to cut 30% food, 50% spending money, 50% petrol, etc. So it's very encouraging to know that things will get easier as time goes by.

pink_numbers

Thank you Annie56, honestly, if it wasn't for the OS board, I would've never been in the right frame of mind to forward plan something like this, so the credit goes to everyone here. Without you guys, I would've been so upset and angry, etc at the prospect of OH leaving work, but I've been so impressed by everyone else's attitude on here of "we can get through this" that when OH started to chat with me about leaving work or not, I drew up a spreadsheet showing him that we CAN do it if he felt he needed to.

I'm far more interested in my OH's health and happiness than money now days!

JulieGeorgiana

pink_numbers wrote: »

Thank you JulieGeorgiana, it's so good to hear about others that have done it and come out of it so well. You know in your head it's going to be ok (especially when you're only 'pretending' things are bad), but it's still very scary trying to cut 30% food, 50% spending money, 50% petrol, etc. So it's very encouraging to know that things will get easier as time goes by.

What's spending money???

No but seriously, you are right, your OH health is so much more important... just keep making small changes... and they add up!!

This site is the best support when you are in a financial crunch!

Everyone is so nice and supportive...

Keep us posted with how well you're doing. Jx

Ps. It does get easier... as long as you don't get complacent and go out and buy two rabbits days before you lose your job! Whoops!!

pink_numbers

spending money = anything other than bills and food! I use to give myself £10 a week, which I could spend on what I liked (mostly yarns!!) or save up for things like meal out for a birthday, buying things for the house to prepare for the winter, etc. But that is going down to £5 a week. My hope is that we really do have everything we NEED for the house now that we won't need to buy much (famous last words).

I've started to practice this already by only putting £5 in my wallet and putting the other £5 away. Same with the food money (which is going down to £100 pcm - gluten free) and basically squirreling away any cash that we can for the harder times.

you know what, I've become so old fashioned that when you said rabbits my first thought was - "what's wrong with that, they are cheap meat!".... you meant as pets right? sorry, I'll get me coat.

Annie56

oh Ive surely brightened up tonight, I just love the inter reaction between folks on this thread and OS in general...and your right pink_fingers your husbands health and state of mind is paramount, I think you will do well....you have the right attitude....loved your rabbits cheap meat quip....dont bother with your coat yet I need to get mine too...