It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

grandma247

You can stew a few dates or figs as the filling for this too.

Nargleblast

I have a similar recipe using chopped fruit and cinnamon for the middle bit. Any fuit - plums, apples, pears, soft fruits. Nice served hot as a pud or cold as a cake. And with all those oats, it has got to be healthy! (that is, if you pretend the butter, sugar and jam aren't there!)

purpleheather2810

Afternoon everyone. Had a breakthrough re stocking up cupboards - managed to get hubby, who hates DIY and never does any, to put some extra shelves in the cupboards! Result! So now, rather than having a load of dead space in our food cupboards we can properly fill them. V pleased. Used up another marrow today in a big pot of soup. This evening I am going to find out about Partylite (this is a party plan selling candles) - the products are nice, I don't want to get really into it but it would be a nice bit of pocket money/debt repayment money. I'm finding it hard to make any money from my language tuition work and having a bit of a crisis about what I want to do with my life (!!) In fact, as time goes by, the more I feel I should be there for my children, do justice to running the household and making a home Old Style, helping out at school and with PTA, and ENJOYING my kids before they get too big. Spent almost every day this week crying about it and feeling like a failure.

grandma247

purpleheather2810 wrote: »

the more I feel I should be there for my children, do justice to running the household and making a home Old Style, helping out at school and with PTA, and ENJOYING my kids before they get too big. Spent almost every day this week crying about it and feeling like a failure.

Those are full time jobs as it is. Why on earth you should feel a failure for doing those things I can not imagine. My how things have changed.
I was proud to be a sahm when my first family were young, in fact I didn't work outside the home for 15 years. When the second family came along they were spaced so far apart it was doable with a little help from my dh but I mostly worked part time.

Take your time and make a list of things you might be able to manage. I came across some good info in an email a while ago and the suggestion was to work at several different projects but be prepared to only make a little from each one. The idea was that every penny adds up.

This particular lady made special cakes, grew and sold some veg, made jams and pickles to sell and did a little quilting and other sewing. It all made her a little extra money and helped pay the bills.
You probably have a number of useful skills already that others may not have the time for but would pay you to do. There is a list somewhere on the net of suggestions for money making. I will see if I can find it.

seasalt_2

()s Purpleheather, you are not a failure, having time for your kids and making a home is an important job. Sometimes it takes a bit of time and experimenting to find out what is worth doing and can be fitted in with children, in terms of earning some extra money. Have you had a look at the "Up Your Income" board?

Fruball

PurpleHeather - I feel like you do at times too BUT we shouldn't put ourselves under that pressure. We do the best we can, and we do a LOT better than some others

Annie56

Evening All,

Ive had some bad news this morning, one of my closest friends died last night, he was only 62, and the ex OH sent me a text saying along the lines of "oops meant to tell you Micks in hospital bad and would like to see you but its too late he went last night...thought you should know" I am so so angry at ex OH, he knew he was a very close work colleague and Im feeling so bad about not bieng there...Ive contacted Micks family and explained they were very kind and they have my contact details and Ive spent most of today contacting everyone I can think of with my new address and teling them of mine and ex OHs seperation....so I will have a funeral to attend to some time next week.

Ex OH is bieng an unreasonable numpty and has set his lawyer on to mine insisting the cause for the end of the marriage be mutual seperation and not his affair with booby floozie blond secretary, no way, so looks like the gloves are off.....hes demanding I return the garden shed and the greenhouse, idiot man has never lifted a spade in his life, wouldnt know a weed from a seedling, suppose the fun begins.

The said greenhouse and shed have been erected and look lovley in there new position on my allotment, we had a jolly day with the sandwiches I made and the flasks of coffee and tea, a good time was had by all, I am so amazed at the welcome Ive had from the allotment folk, refreshes my joy in human nature and reminds me that not all folk are self obsessed and moaning miseries like ex OH.

Financially thank goodness for this site, I need to look over some of the other sites to glean some more info on tightening the purse strings.

Rene the Renault Clio is happily chugging along, and am aware now of the price of petrol etc, some very serious financial reforms to come if Im going to be able to keep her.

Im away to have my tea, HM soup and bread from my first attempt with the breadmaker I took from home, flat smells delicious with the smell of the bread, fires twinkling away , my choice of musics playing, and Im happy with my lot, lifes pleasures dont have to cost pounds my tea has cost me about 50p...all the more enjoyable than anything shop bought.

Have a pleasant evening all...

Annie56

Nargleblast

Annie, focus on the good things in life. You have got rid of someone who sounds like a total waste of good oxygen. Divorce nowadays has to be on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown of marriage (or desertion for a certain period of time), infidelity is no longer considered grounds in itself, even though you want the world to know what a !!!!!! he has been. The sooner you accept that (hard though it is) the sooner you can get on and make the most of your life. If he is so hung up about things, possessions, then so what? They are just things. As you are finding now, there is more to life than the material stuff. It sounds like you are already making good progress in that direction, with your allotment, and of course the support you get from people on here. Having been through the divorce mill myself years ago, I know it is horrible at the time but you do get through it eventually and get to look back and know it was the right thing to do. Sorry about the news about your friend, and the way in which you found out (another reason to crack on with bringing some closure to your relationship!) - at least those who are important to you know the truth and still care about you. There is a good life out there for you, you just have to wade through a bit of treacle at times to get to it. Good luck, and I apologise now if some of the things I have said have been a little blunt but that's me - never call a spade a spade unless you can call it a ruddy shovel!

Charis

Purpleheather, I've PM'd you.

smileyt_2

Annie56 wrote: »

Evening All,

the ex OH sent me a text saying along the lines of "oops meant to tell you Micks in hospital bad and would like to see you but its too late he went last night...thought you should know" .Annie56

Oh Annie, that is brutal and nasty! I cannot believe anyone would treat another person like this, I am truly, truly shocked. I am sure Mick now knows, and is watching over you.

Purpleheather, I am sure your children love you and appreciate any time you spend with them. I wish you luck with your plans and hope it all comes together, and I hope you are feeling more cheerful soon, it's horrible feeling down, isn't it?