It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

Hippeechiq

You're very welcome hun

And as I said in my amended post, your son is evidently influenced by his Father, but don't forget he's 50% biologically yours too, and you are clearly a good person, with good values

Many, many families go through hellish times when their children hit adolescence, and with a marriage break up, it's a double whammy. My best friend has been through a similar situation as you, many years ago now (violent husband), and she also left the marital home and took her children with her. Her eldest boy went off the rails big time, and I must admit, I did fear that he would ever come good. Then all of a sudden it came together for him.

I've know him since he was 13.....he's now 33, married with 3 young children, is a great Father and Husband and although my friend enjoys good relationships with all her boys, she has the closest relationship of all with him - so it can happen

The_Thrilla

mardatha wrote: »

I just watched a report on Sky News where they said the Bank of England didnt forsee this last 24 months and that nobody did. I yelled at the TV
RUBBISH ! WE IN MSE ALL DID !! :rotfl:

That's right. And what's all this that Mervyn King keeps talking about a recovery. There's no recovery. He said that inflation (His definition of inflation is rising prices.) will keep on going and and not get back to the 2% target until the end of 2012. If you go back over the months, he says that "inflation" will be back on target by the end of this year. I think the best thing we can do Mervyn King is just ignore him. He's never been right before, why should he be correct now?

Hippeechiq

Gigervamp wrote: »

Hmm..blackberry and apple vodka. Sounds like a plan. Hubby and I foraged a load of both this evening. Also discovered a load of sloe bushes, laden with fruit. Will go back for those next month.

Ooh, had another idea. Toffee apple vodka. Use brown sugar instead of white with the apples. That could be interesting!
:beer:

It all sounds like a very good plan to me

Mmmmmm - Sloe Gin :drool:

Hippeechiq

mardatha do you know what time ginnyknits appointment is tomorrow?

I do hope it's not too hard on them both

ginnyknit

The good old Dhss have cocked up and cancelled the appointment tomorrow - they rang at 4pm! Dh is now in bed. So now we have to go through the wait again. but we are going away for 2 nights next week so they can wait till we come back. Thank you all for your thoughts hugs Ginny

mardatha

ok Ginny. And its a complete waste of time telling me anything anyway. I will just forget it.

seasalt_2

Hi. Have been reading this thread for a week now - taken me that long to get through it - and have really enjoyed it but have only just registered so that I can post things. Can I join you, please? I think Old Style is my natural home and maybe the green fingered board as well. Ought to join DFWs too but a bit daunted by that at the mo. Working on it! And on OH who is an ostrich!

Live on a scottish island. Crofting family although I'm an incomer. I have had all sorts of jobs. Currently textile art/crafts (which I have always done) although not yet making enough to live on! Large vegetable plot. House that needs lots doing to it!

Katholicos, my heart goes out to you. I have got two teenagers and sometimes I think it's like having toddlers but the language is worse and more gets broken when they throw their weight about! DS is nearly 15 and can be abominably vile and way too big for his boots but just occasionally I catch glimpses of what I hope is a pleasant young man trying to get out, so I have faith. I also have a 30yr old DD so have been here before if not quite so extreme! I hope your son will come through it all too. I think it's probably natural to model himself on his father, good or bad, at this age, but he has a lot of growing up to do yet and, as Hippeechiq says, he's your son too. So I hope you can have faith in him despite the heartache it is causing you. ()

Broomstick

(((Hugs))) Katholicos.

Your post has reminded me of something I found very, very useful when my two were toddlers and that I now use again to cope with my own hormones (or lack of!) as well as my DSs' teenage behaviour.

It's an emergency checklist called H.A.L.T. You need to stop in your tracks and ask (either about yourself or your child):

Are you Hungry? (If so, get something sensible to eat or drink as a matter of priority.)

Are you Angry? (If so, make some space to listen to their anger, or I find that, if I am doing this for myself, just acknowledging what I'm cross about takes the worst of it away.)

Are you Lonely? (Sort it. Maybe 10 minutes with you is enough, or phone a friend, or e-mail someone or, like before, just acknowlege it.)

Are you Tired? (Do what ever is necessary to get the rest that's needed asap.)

It's kind of the minimal list of absolute essentials when everything goes into meltdown.

B x
(who should listen to her own advice about being tired but had a two hour sleep just before supper and it's thrown her body clock completely out! :eek: )

mardatha

Hi Seasalt. I like Scottish islands and I love textiles ! Re kids, my daughter was the worst ever. You name it, she did it. And now she's my best friend and we are very close. Try hard to take a long term view when dealing with teenagers. They are temporarily not human !

Kittikins

Wow Broomstick what an amazing thing to see written down, I use a variation of it with my DD when she gets grouchy - I always think: - Tired? (most likely) Hungry? (she is a bottomless pit, lol) Needs a wee? (Life is much more comfortable once you've powdered your nose!) But usually - needs a cuddle (yippee!!)