It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

lilac_lady

mardatha wrote: »

......furiously knitting a skull bandana....

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

lilac_lady

ceridwen;

On a different tack - Cameron has got a heavily disabled child himself (now no longer with us...) - so he must have some "insider knowledge" of what its like to be in a carer situation...

I'm sure Mr Cameron loved his son deeply and has sympathy for parents in the same situation but his lifestyle must have made the practicalities of caring for his son easier for the Camerons than for most people.

taplady

kathlicos - (((hugs))) I hope in time he sees sense x x x

kezlou

Just to clarify the sausages are called debbie and andrews organic sausages. Thought i had got the name wrong. I've eaten the above but the 99% meat are too chewy for me., But my OH and boys love them.

Gailey sorry to hear your OH didn't get the job, as i always say at least he's getting interviews, which is often the hardest part. He'll find something soon x
kath to hear to hear you had a bust up with your son x He'll comes around soon enough and apologise for his behaviour, and will have more respect for you.

another sunny /grey/wet day in store for us and another long one of cleaning rughhh w
I'm off to the hospital now see you all in a bit x

mardatha

Katholicos, let him. 15 is a real pain of an age. Let him have a spell without you and see what he does when he's 17/18. Don't ever run after kids, it gives them delusions of grandeur lol and they treat you like muck. My daughter found that out the hard way.

csarina

Mardartha: and anyone else who lives within striking distance of Livingston West Lothian.

I have had it on very good authroity that Wilko's open in the old Woolworths in the Almondvale shopping centre Sept 7th YAY.......less than a month and only 40 miles away instead of 60+. I will be there!!!

Will olny swap if the open a shop nearer or in Edinburgh....surpirsed that have not looked at Kinnaird Park, lots of big shops empty there.......

Hippeechiq

lilac_lady wrote: »

ceridwen;

On a different tack - Cameron has got a heavily disabled child himself (now no longer with us...) - so he must have some "insider knowledge" of what its like to be in a carer situation...

I'm sure Mr Cameron loved his son deeply and has sympathy for parents in the same situation but his lifestyle must have made the practicalities of caring for his son easier for the Camerons than for most people.

Exactly - I'm sure he has no idea of the chronic fatigue faced by ordinary folk who can't afford private nurses/help, and are a carer, without any other help 24/7, when sometimes/often you just feel like letting go of the reins and have someone look after you and your needs, because you feel you can't cope anymore/don't feel well/are exhausted/a bit depressed - only that's not an option, you have to keep going.

And then to top it all, the person you are caring for, has to go an be assessed, by a complete stranger, who doesn't have the faintest comprehension of the difficulties they have to endure day in, day out.

In my case, my daughter suffering from a mental illness similar to Bi-Polar only a lot more complex, and is not an illness that can be accurately assessed in a 20minute period by the experts, let alone someone who is not an expert in that field.....in fact, it's taken me 18months of hard slog and endless battles and appointments with experts in this field before she was correctly diagnosed and has begun to receive the right medication and therapy - 18 months! So what, some stranger asking the same set questions for everyone they see is qualified to make an assessment of her condition? - give me strength!!

The decision as to whether they think the people they see are ill enough/disabled enough to continue receiving benefit isn't even made by the person who holds the assessment. He/She asks questions, the person being assessed answers, and the relevant responses are recorded and the paperwork is then sent to another independent company who paper sift it and make their decision....someone who hasn't even met the person their making the decision on :mad:

Sorry all - rant over, but it's a bl**dy farce - it really is

jediteacher

I feel every sympathy and amazement at the posters on here who have to look after loved ones or who have reasons that they themselves cannot work.

However, I have a tale from the other side. A very close relative of mine who shall remain nameless is one of the fraudulent claimants of incapacibility allowance and it makes me hopping mad that they are getting away with it. They are quite capable of working and have been able to for the last 15 years that they have been claiming. :mad:They deliberately see a doctor who will sign them off. A few years back this member of my family had to see a different doctor one named by the government and they declared them fit for work. The family member then went back to their doctor and that doctor contested the decision and got it overturned. I for one agree that in this case this person should be done for fruad and made to pay back all that they have claimed. We as a family have found it very hard not to report them but as I say it is complicated and they are a very, very close relation. It is people like this who make it soo hard for people with genuine need to be assessed fairly and make them go through the horrible process and cause more stress.

lilac_lady

15 is a dreadful age. If your children are in that category, lots of sympathy. Mostly they turn into nice 20 somethings though!

ginnyknit

Hippeechiq your understanding of my situation moved me to tears. You summed it up perfectly. Last time he had a doctor come to the house which was so stressful. the doctor handed him a form to sign and cos Dh could reach the few inches to take it off him, polus sit and do a bit of railway modelling he was deemed fit to work. We had to go to the jobcentre every few weeks and discuss work with a very kind lady - last time we went we had been in casualty all night (compacted bowel) and she went mad saying we could do the interviews by phone in future. Anyway he has deteriorated so much of late I doubt even the dhss could find him a job.

I am having a lazy day today as Sil has taken Dh out for a couple of hours and my shoulder is so painful from picking him up from his latest fall I can hardly move. On a brighter note DD bought her dad a bargain bed frame yesterday as his old one was falling part - it was his 56th birthday- so last night he was much more comfy. He has his own room as he sleeps so little he can potter about and read all night.