School bullies

woody01

I know two wrongs don't make a right, but my daughter was being bullied and this is what i did:

My daughter is only 6 and goes to mainstream school. She is however disabled.
A boy who was 10 at the time started making fun of her, as she is mentally and physically disabled and he saw her as an easy target.

I spoke to the head teacher and they dragged the parents in and discussed why this should stop....it didn't!
It happened a few more times, so the next time my Mrs was at work, and i picked my daughter up, i followed this family back to their house so i could go and plead the case with the parents.

Later that evening i turned up at some council flea pit, to be met at the door by a Waynetta Slob look-alike.
I expained as simply as i could for her that this is upsetting and MUST stop.
In her own primordial fashion, she agreed and would speak to the child.
It CONTINUED THE NEXT DAY!

OK...now no more mr nice guy.
I visited again, and this time was met by the 'man of the house'.
He was basically a strategically shaved gorilla, but, i am 6ft 3ins, 16 stone, ex Royal Marine and Ex doorman so i think i had the upperhand.

I explained the situation to him and he couldn't care a less.
It was ANGRY time.

I expained to him that EVERY time his son bullied my daughter, i would come around again and 'bully him' on his own doorstep.

Low and behold....no more issues.

I realise you shouldn't take the law into your own hands, but some people of this nature only understand one way.
He understood

jimbms

fedupnow wrote: »

I think you may have misread the initial post.

Yes I did, appologise, well don for the lad for giving the bully a clout, I think if full facts are given out this would be dropped due to previous history, but I still stand by my position of if necessary police shold be involved with bullies

MrsTinks

I was bullied at school - for many many years... and I did eventually take matters into my own hands. But in my defence I didn't throw the first punch OR draw the first blood... Going up to the other boys front door and proceeding to beating him is called assault, not self defence. I'm sorry there is NO way I can support or condone that and at 12-13 he should know better! I was that age when I bit back and there is no way I'd have carried out a pre-meditated assault on anyone despite what provocation had taken place.
Self defence is one thing - planning an attack for whatever reason... very wrong. I do hope the police scare the living daylights out of him because otherwise he'll think this is an acceptable way to address anyone that bothers him in any way going forward.
As for the bully - they can be dealt with through the system - assuming parents are willing to pursue it...

Molly41

Sorry gonna upset you all now. Totally wrong way to deal with the situation. Violence breeds violence. Hope there are no repercussions for your nephew but actually his actions make him no better than those people who originally bullied him. Oh yes and I was REALLY badly bullied at school in the late 80's when bullying didnt exist and you just had to put up with it. It was sustained and brutal and affects me to this very day. So as on who has really suffered from bullying I say that this situation has been totally mishandled by the family in encouraging a vulnerable lad to assault another lad. Why encourage a young lad to behave in this situation when there are now policies and processes in place?

fedupnow

Molly41 wrote: »

Sorry gonna upset you all now. Totally wrong way to deal with the situation. Violence breeds violence. Hope there are no repercussions for your nephew but actually his actions make him no better than those people who originally bullied him. Oh yes and I was REALLY badly bullied at school in the late 80's when bullying didnt exist and you just had to put up with it. It was sustained and brutal and affects me to this very day. So as on who has really suffered from bullying I say that this situation has been totally mishandled by the family in encouraging a vulnerable lad to assault another lad. Why encourage a young lad to behave in this situation when there are now policies and processes in place?

You're unlikely to upset people really, of course it isn't right to go knocking on doors looking for trouble. The boy could have got hurt for one thing - it could have backfired big time.

On this occasion the policies and processes had let this kid down. It sounds like they did try to get it sorted but 'the system' had failed him.

As you have experienced bullying you will know it doesn't go away when you get home. It keeps you awake and festers in the back of your head. It breeds in your head until you think you're going mad.

The matter has been brought to a head now and the adults are being forced to deal with it.

Let's hope both boys will learn from this and move past it without too much damage.

EDIT - in fairness the OP wasn't asking 'was this the right thing to do?' he/she probably knows it wasn't ... he was just asking if anybody knew of the likely consequences. It's the rest of us who are discussing the wider issue.

pigpen

Over the age of 10 years yes he can be prosecuted for this offence. It is probable he would get no more than a caution which, providing there are no other incidents will be deleted when he is 21.. however they will take a DNA swab and that won't be deleted from the file!.

Maybe his parents would have been better going to the police than the school once they realised the school would do nothing..

Molly41

fedupnow wrote: »

You're unlikely to upset people really, of course it isn't right to go knocking on doors looking for trouble. The boy could have got hurt for one thing - it could have backfired big time.

On this occasion the policies and processes had let this kid down. It sounds like they did try to get it sorted but 'the system' had failed him.

As you have experienced bullying you will know it doesn't go away when you get home. It keeps you awake and festers in the back of your head. It breeds in your head until you think you're going mad.

The matter has been brought to a head now and the adults are being forced to deal with it.

Let's hope both boys will learn from this and move past it without too much damage.

EDIT - in fairness the OP wasn't asking 'was this the right thing to do?' he/she probably knows it wasn't ... he was just asking if anybody knew of the likely consequences. It's the rest of us who are discussing the wider issue.

No he wasnt asking whether it was the right thing or not but the young lad who was being bullied now has to face the consequences of his actions after being encouraged (so to speak) by his family. I do understand how he feels having been in that situation and I have been watching the Eastenders storyline with Ben Mitchell which seems to have some resonance with this story.

I have also been the mother of a child who was also badly bullied for many years at secondary school and it was not easily resolved. The school tried hard but unfortunately it is endemic in school cultures - even schools who say they dont have a bullying problem!. I dont think there are any easy answers. Schools do have strict antibullying policies and will have tried mediation between the bullies and the bullied, class approaches etc. I know from my research that those who bully are often bullied themselves. I hope that this situation is resolved for all concerned - the bullied who became a bully and the original bully.

patchwork_cat

Oh crikey. Why didn't grandad say to do it discreetly? It is like the fight in teh playground at Primary, the dinner lady doesn't see the first punch, but in the corner of her eye she sees a flash, she turns, just in time to see Little Jimmy retaliate. Who gets into trouble, yes Jimmy. If it is a good school they will ask around to others what happened, but all too often it is Jimmy that gets into trouble. That is why revenge is a dish best served cold and discreetly. I would have told my kids to be much more subtle - ( apart form the fact that my DS has been a 1st Kyu Karate since he was 12 and would have half killed him)

FATBALLZ

Molly41 wrote: »

Sorry gonna upset you all now. Totally wrong way to deal with the situation. Violence breeds violence. Hope there are no repercussions for your nephew but actually his actions make him no better than those people who originally bullied him. Oh yes and I was REALLY badly bullied at school in the late 80's when bullying didnt exist and you just had to put up with it. It was sustained and brutal and affects me to this very day. So as on who has really suffered from bullying I say that this situation has been totally mishandled by the family in encouraging a vulnerable lad to assault another lad. Why encourage a young lad to behave in this situation when there are now policies and processes in place?

If you believe the 'policies and processes' are in any way effective you are a complete fool.

Velcro_Hotdog

Molly41 wrote: »

Sorry gonna upset you all now. Totally wrong way to deal with the situation. Violence breeds violence. Hope there are no repercussions for your nephew but actually his actions make him no better than those people who originally bullied him. Oh yes and I was REALLY badly bullied at school in the late 80's when bullying didnt exist and you just had to put up with it. It was sustained and brutal and affects me to this very day. So as on who has really suffered from bullying I say that this situation has been totally mishandled by the family in encouraging a vulnerable lad to assault another lad. Why encourage a young lad to behave in this situation when there are now policies and processes in place?

No one encouraged him to do what he did and the school had been contacted about the bullying. His grandad simply said that in his day it was delt with differently and he decided that in this situation it may work for him.

The boys parents where a little calmer after school today, I think they now no that there little angel is not as angelic as they thought. Not sure if we have heard the last of it but Alex was like a new person today much more confident and has his smile back at last.