kerrier council are throwing my family on the streets

Mum_of_3_3

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Oh dear..

Never been to Cornwall and didnt realise that it had sh&t holes there as well...is there no escape?

Mainland Spain looks good when the sun is out also.

To be honest it's quicker to name the nice places than it is to name the horrible ones.

When I was younger loads and loads of young teenagers were either having sex, taking drugs or drinking (some of them were up to all 3) as there was nothing else to do. I know it's still the same down there as my brother's girlfriend was despairing about her 14 year old sister wanting to go to an all night beach party where I am sure that all 3 of the above would be on offer.
Not even 'nice' places like St Ives escaped when I was younger, if you went down to the beach before the cleaners got there, there were loads of needles lying around.:eek:

This is the main reason that we decided to stay in Somerset as there are far more things for teenagers to do here (although there's still not an awful lot )

People think that Cornwall's a lovely place to live, but believe me if you stray off of the tourist roads you find the real Cornwall. Anyone driven past the Eden Project signs and found the 'delights' of St Dennis, Foxhole, Nanpean and Treviscoe?

That was the other main reason we decided to stay in Somerset. All the places we would like to live in Cornwall we couldn't afford and all the places we could afford we wouldn't touch with a bargepole.

M_o_3

Mum_of_3_3

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

She's been pretty consistant in her tale of issues with the ex partner, as far back as Feb last year. But nothing short of actually seeing it first hand will satisfy some people, which may go some way to explaining why 2 women die, on average, every week in this country at the hands of violent partners.

I don't think anyone on here is suggesting that he OP should go back and live with her violent partner. And if they did they should be very, very ashamed of themselves.

I for one am just amazed at the thought that she thinks she should queue jump everyone who has been on the Cornish housing register for years.

We have pointed out to her that some LAs will give out deposits for private rentals and that there are plenty of LLs in Cornwall that will take LHA.

Surely a 2-bed house in a hole like Penzance would preferable to living in your car with you children? However, the OP must have been to look at some houses because she says there is nothing 'suitable' and like I previously said I would rather live in a studio flat with my kids than live in a car and it meant I would be out of the clutches of a violent ex-partner.

I have written what I have on this thread not to make her go back to her partner, but to hopefully make her understand that she has to be pro-active in getting housing and that council housing is extremely rare and if she wants to continue living where she is maybe she needs to look at private rental.

Domestic abuse is disgusting, but she has done the biggest step she can make by leaving her partner and I really believe she has done the best thing she could ever possibly do not only for her, but also her children. However, she now needs to stop thinking of herself as a victim and get out there and sort something out for her kid's sake.

M_o_3

Wee_Willy_Harris

Mum_of_3 wrote: »

I don't think anyone on here is suggesting that he OP should go back and live with her violent partner. And if they did they should be very, very ashamed of themselves.

I for one am just amazed at the thought that she thinks she should queue jump everyone who has been on the Cornish housing register for years.

We have pointed out to her that some LAs will give out deposits for private rentals and that there are plenty of LLs in Cornwall that will take LHA.

Surely a 2-bed house in a hole like Penzance would preferable to living in your car with you children? However, the OP must have been to look at some houses because she says there is nothing 'suitable' and like I previously said I would rather live in a studio flat with my kids than live in a car and it meant I would be out of the clutches of a violent ex-partner.

I have written what I have on this thread not to make her go back to her partner, but to hopefully make her understand that she has to be pro-active in getting housing and that council housing is extremely rare and if she wants to continue living where she is maybe she needs to look at private rental.

Domestic abuse is disgusting, but she has done the biggest step she can make by leaving her partner and I really believe she has done the best thing she could ever possibly do not only for her, but also her children. However, she now needs to stop thinking of herself as a victim and get out there and sort something out for her kid's sake.

M_o_3

Sadly, the advice to return has been given by a number of posters....

twirlypinky wrote: »

I can't help but think the biggest issue here is nothing to do with Cornwall, it's in Surrey. You should be able to live in your home in Surrey. Why haven't the police dealt with your ex?

C_Mababejive wrote: »

If there is/was a home in Surrey then that's where she needs to be.

twirlypinky wrote: »

i still think that they should go home and deal with the problem in surrey rather than run away. maybe that's just me,

Fleeing DV is, nationally, one of the biggest reasons for homelessness. Taking the OP at face value, she feels unable to return to Surrey for reasons of personal safety so has decided to move to the only other place in the country where she may get some support via her current partners family. As such, had she been more aware of how the system works, she would have been perfectly entitled to do just that. I think the general idea is that, with women and DV, it's better to house them than bury them.

However, it's not just a case of queue jumping. A homeless accept puts certain restrictions on a person which arer not encountered by those on the general waiting list. In discharging the homeless duty to house, a LA can look at any property in the area, can place bids on the applicants behalf and, if a property is refused, can withdraw the priority and, effectively, use the refusal as a discharge of the duty owed. They can also discharge the duty via a private rental. So, it's not just about jumping to the top of the list. It is, in fact, a brutal route into re-housing which, for most people, doesn't provide the long term, stable accommodation they need.

martindow

To be fair Wee Willy I think most of the posts you refer to suggest trying to to sort out the situation in Surrey rather than moving back to DV. Good for her for moving out in the first place.

The criticism comes from her trying to jump the housing queue in Cornwall and her attitude when the LA said no. Many of us feel our blood pressure rising when people are demanding their 'rights' asking someone else to pay and sort out their housing while apparently not wanting to do anything for themselves.

Lance

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

She's been pretty consistant in her tale of issues with the ex partner, as far back as Feb last year. But nothing short of actually seeing it first hand will satisfy some people, which may go some way to explaining why 2 women die, on average, every week in this country at the hands of violent partners.

So if someone, anyone, is suffering domestic violence they can go anywhere in the country and expect to be immediately housed? Local residents in Cornwall who have been on the council waiting list for years must stand aside for such people? She could have called the Police and had the matter dealt with resulting in him being forced to leave but instead he keeps the house / flat and she gets another where she likes! She 'played' the system and lost. Maybe she should have legally dealt with the 'issues' in Feb last year.

Wee_Willy_Harris

Lance wrote: »

So if someone, anyone, is suffering domestic violence they can go anywhere in the country and expect to be immediately housed? Local residents in Cornwall who have been on the council waiting list for years must stand aside for such people? She could have called the Police and had the matter dealt with resulting in him being forced to leave but instead he keeps the house / flat and she gets another where she likes! She 'played' the system and lost. Maybe she should have legally dealt with the 'issues' in Feb last year.

The legislation is quite clear. If a woman is suffering DV, she can present at ANY local authority in the land and make a homeless application. If that is successful, she will be given her homeless priority anf the LA concerned will have accepted that they have a DUTY to re-house her. I have described how they may discharge this duty in my earlier post.

As I said, the idea is that it's better to house than bury. What is it that causes you a problem with that?

Wee_Willy_Harris

martindow wrote: »

To be fair Wee Willy I think most of the posts you refer to suggest trying to to sort out the situation in Surrey rather than moving back to DV. Good for her for moving out in the first place.

The criticism comes from her trying to jump the housing queue in Cornwall and her attitude when the LA said no. Many of us feel our blood pressure rising when people are demanding their 'rights' asking someone else to pay and sort out their housing while apparently not wanting to do anything for themselves.

And, in my earlier posts, I have explained the options available (even to the point of suggesting that she pulls her finger out and gets on with it). I have also explained the brutality of a homeless accept. It's not exactly the rose garden you paint it to be.

Badger_Lady

It seems to me that OP is nearly there, but suffering from "it's not my fault!" syndrome with regards to housing. If she's not working and the kids are at school, then she has one very important task to be getting on with - finding a home for her family.

As everyone else has said, get out there and find the accommodation, hassle the council on a daily basis, whatever's necessary. If you were genuinely doing everything possible for three months, you'd get the hint that it just ain't gonna happen. And you'd make the right sacrifices (change area, move schools, get a smaller house, whatever).

Alternatively, you can sit back and wait for the Council to sort you out, then whinge because you're not automatically their biggest priority.

terryw

Lance wrote: »

So if someone, anyone, is suffering domestic violence they can go anywhere in the country and expect to be immediately housed? Local residents in Cornwall who have been on the council waiting list for years must stand aside for such people? She could have called the Police and had the matter dealt with resulting in him being forced to leave but instead he keeps the house / flat and she gets another where she likes! She 'played' the system and lost. Maybe she should have legally dealt with the 'issues' in Feb last year.

Lance,

The OP was not living with the violent person. She was with her new partner in Surrey and he and the OP are now in Cornwall. The ex-partner has not kept the Surrey house - it looks as though this has been repossessed by the council as presumably the OP has abandoned the property.

Or have I misunderstood?

C_Mababejive

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

So, how does the above drivel equate with your advice for the OP to return to the home in Surrey from which she is fleeing?

The answer is to neutralise the threat,not run from it. Would she have also run from her potential nice new free home in Cornwall if the nutter came after her? I doubt it because the truth is,she was using this as a reason to try and manipulate the system.