Ladies & Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts ...

benbenandme

Thanks guys, she cancelled the respite because he hates going there anyway, and she would feel too guilty if he wasn't feeling good. Hopefully she'll be able to rebook him in a few weeks time Its just so hard seeing him wasting away and her being 'trapped' looking after him, she can't even go and get a pint of milk, he wants help standing up every 5 minutes as he gets uncomfortable, he's pretty much incontinent, its just horrid

dangers

Could you not persuade her to get some help in? MIL is undergoing a 6 week Social Services Assessment as she needs help in the morning. For her though, it is a bit of company. Your mum could get someone in for say an hour a day just to give her a bit of a break. Around here, the care is around £16 per hour - lot cheaper than putting him into a home.

saorsie

Hi BenBen ~ always follow your diary but rarely post, however couldn't just read and run after reading about your difficult day today.

I've worked in social care for many years so if you feel I can offer any advice or support please don't hesitate to pm me ~ sadly the situation your mum and dad are in is very common I don't know whereabouts you are so it's difficult to recommend services etc as it's varies so much between different authorities.

Sending you virtual hugs (((BB and family)))

-s- x

Ellidee

So sorry about your Dad bb - and your poor Mum too. Wish there was something I could suggest. xx

benbenandme

Thankyou again guys, Mum won't have any help in, we've tried lots of times to persuade her but shes still not ready to, although I think shes getting to the point where she will have to accept some help soon

tigzem

Big hugs darling, must be so awful for you all. Hopefully your Mum will come to a decision that help will be a good thing but I guess then it will be admitting he's not going to get any better I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, hugs xx

stressed.mum

BenBen I'm so sorry things not going well for your mum, hope you can persuade her to accept some help soon so she can have a little time to herself

((((((BB n all ))))))))

stressed xxxx

chevalier

Been a tough week for you Benben I am sorry for you and yours. Old people can be proud to the points of stupidity on occasion. But there is also no telling them. I guess if she has help, then his illness might become more real and official to her. And that would mean accepting that the only way is down with him from then on....I just hope your mum doesn't injure herself looking after your dad...

Take care
chev

Alisonpennypincher

Hugs BB. Not a good situation, Have you tried getting your mum to see it from your POV? i.e You are worrying about them both, and it would help you to know that there is some help for her? Sometimes people get tunnel vision about these things and need a shake to help them along the right path.

Why is she so agsinst help? Pride, or worrying it's a slippery slope to a full time care home? Maybe you can help her see it differently if you know where she is coming from?

Sorry i have not got any great words of wisdom, I hope that things get better for all of you one way or another very soon

Have a good day back at school, i'm having quite an easy morning at the moment, both boys (i look after friends ds in the am before school) are behaving today!

TTFN
x

funnyflipp

Huge hugs BB for you and your Mum, its is very hard accepting that you need help, we have been there and nobody likes to admit that they can't manage with there own family, I'm sure she will
get there but in the mean time here's hoping it doesn't take her long, just on the off chance has their GP or practice nurse been round for a chat? they can sometimes come up with a less invasive plan xxx