Ladies & Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts ...

benbenandme

Morning, I've been and done my 5 mile walk, so almost at 10,000 steps already today

On top of the list I have for today I also need to go and get petrol before I load the car up for the car boot and also need to go round to my Grandads

hypno06

Have a good day! Hope the sun is shining for you :cool:

benbenandme

So I've had a bath and just vegged and wasted the morning, I did this last time ds was away and can't afford to waste another weekend doing nothing So, I'm going to step away from the laptop now and will be back at 12 as long as I've done a good hours work

benbenandme

Well my wardrobe has been sorted, I have chucked out about 20 items and could easily have binned more but can't afford to replace them right now, so will hang on to them a while longer

I've also done out another cupboard in my room and stripped the bed and one load is now happily going round in the machine. This means that all the car boot stuff has been found now, so the rest of the flat can be finished another time if necessary. My plan for the rest of today is to;

• go and buy ds birthday card, balloons etc
• find change for the car boot sale
• clean dining table
• hoover/dust lounge
• buy petrol
• load the car up for car boot sale
• clean bathroom
• clean kitchen

Once everywheres looking clean and tidy then I can do the smaller jobs over the next week or so (ie. tidying drawers / cupboards etc).

benbenandme

Okay, after really trying to force myself to get on with things I've realised its not happening, so having sat with a coffee and thought about things I have realised it is because ds is away and because of everything thats going on I stress a lot now when he's not here, so I need to recognise that right now I don't get much done when he's not here. Rather than beat myself up about this I need to accept it; I have too much stuff going round my head and I have to accept that I won't achieve as much as I'dlike to when he's not here.

So, the car boot has been postponed for next time he goes away; theres no way I will get the flat blitzed and a car boot done in one weekend, so this weekend is about the flat, next time he's away will be about the car boot

I've been out and got his card and balloon, I'm going to the pub with my grandad for dinner at about 5ish, and the rest of the weekend will involve sorting the flat, making his birthday cake and possibly getting some bits on ebay Either this weekend or maybe during the week I will be sorting my soa and budgets too

skint_spice

Glad to hear you are going to stop beating yourself up - you've had a tough few weeks and you deserve a break. it's not like you've been sitting around doing nothing anyway, surely as long as you don't go on a mad spending splurge you can allow yourself some downtime. School's just broken up so you'll have plenty of time to catch up. Take care of yourself!

hypno06

As S_S says, it is not exactly that you have been sitting and doing absolutely nothing - you have acheived far more on your "its not happening" day, than many of us achieve in a week

So, yes, I think you are right to accept that you can't get as much done as you might like, but certainly remind yourself that you are acheiving quite a lot! Otherwise the rest of us will feel mightily inadequate

redcurlypanda

Hi

I'm not 100% certain, as I leave eBaying to my partner; but he's having a blitz this weekend as he said it was free listing. I don't know if that will save you any money or make it more worthwhile but thought I'd mention it just in case.

As for everything else going on in your life at the mo I can guess it's not easy but when I have times like these I write it all down that way it helps me to stop thinking about it all the time.

And finally for what it's worth (and this will probably sound really daft) having read your last diary I couldn't help but think what a great life you give your son! Keep up the good work and make sure it's a great life for you too!

Love RCP

x

benbenandme

Thankyou RCP, I wish writing it down would help it go away, the problem is its all out of my control

However, taking the pressure off myself obviously helped do the trick; I have since managed to clean the lounge, finish my room (other than making the bed), go and get petrol and stuff for ds birthday cake AND load the car up ready for a car boot sale after all :j :j

So, now I'm off to Grandads and to the pub for dinner, then back for a lazy night on the laptop

hypno06

**goes back to feeling inadequate again**

:rotfl: