would yyou buy next to

oneeye1

correct they have a right to privacy going there on 2nd thoughts would be wrong.im totally confused completly out of ignorance the fact remains my no1 duty is to my kids and yes i would love them to see these people without prejidice but if i dont understand L.D how can i be sure that my children would be safe,for people to say they are of no danger is a big statement coz im sure that there is a vast array of varying degrees and a childs mind in an adult body could be a recipe for disaster couldnt it or am itotally off base here

oldMcDonald

oneeye1 wrote: »

correct they have a right to privacy going there on 2nd thoughts would be wrong.im totally confused completly out of ignorance the fact remains my no1 duty is to my kids and yes i would love them to see these people without prejidice but if i dont understand L.D how can i be sure that my children would be safe,for people to say they are of no danger is a big statement coz im sure that there is a vast array of varying degrees and a childs mind in an adult body could be a recipe for disaster couldnt it or am itotally off base here

I very much doubt that there would be any danger!

Yes, there is a 'vast array of varying degrees' but if there were any danger then it is highly unlikely they would be living in such a placement.

You don't know if the neighbours in any house you buy will be a threat or danger to your kids.

BeccaBell

oneeye1 you aren't coming across as confident in this purchase and if in doubt for whatever reason dont buy! It doenst make you a bad or prejudiced person because you don't want to buy next to a place which houses people with LD especially as you have no knowledge or experience. Reading through it seems a lot of people WOULD buy BUT they have first hand experience of LD in there lives. I think you may be getting off base with some things but it highlights you have these doubts. If you do decide to go through with it be aware that (depending on how severe) people with LD's can be very loud and that can be scary to a young child 200miles away from the place they have known as home in the dark.

I doubt they are any kind of danger but if things are kept hidden and not explained things can seem worse than they are! Good luck!

Note_of_Dis-accord

I'm new to posting in these forums - but I'm prepared to be shot down in flames.

I'm a very disappointed in fact to read a number of replies to what appears to be a genuine post looking for views to assist with formulating an opinion - I have posted for an opinion in another thread for exactly that reason, and I may not like the answers but I welcome them and would hope them to be objective and balanced. Some of these views come across as very offensive from those who may be taking those medal like stars that adorn their profiles a little too seriously!

I would have expected these people to represent some form of experience with balanced views and not get personal and 'off-piste' and they in fact only serve to stop new people visiting this forum looking for objective opinion to help with testing situations.

I share the view that house purchase is not to be taken lightly and if you have any serious reservations about buying any property regardless of the reason, then I would assume it not right for you and move on.

debrag

behind our house was a home for people with LD they were no trouble at all, to get to their car/s they had to walk past our house. I think one made noices alot but we got used to it. Apparently residents didn't want the home there but it happened. This is a council estate by the way.

kelda_shelton

Like another person here posted who has a child with LD I'd like not to note the 'child may be frightened' aspect but the noise.

My sister lives next door to an adult man with severe learning difficulties and who has 24 hour carers. She has 3 kids. While she and the kids are understanding of the man - my sis was a phycy nurse before having kids - the one thing that they have had real trouble with is noise, when he gets adgitated - which is fairly often.

Its woken the kids up on numerous occasions, and sometimes you can hear him shouting and banging walls etc over the living tv and the generally loud rabble fo the kids during the day. The hosuing association has tried to put extra sound proofing in, but it's still not great.

So just a warning there...

But it definitiely has helped the kids be more aware and understanding...

aliasojo

tizerbelle wrote: »

Could you perhaps expand on your thoughts here? At the moment I read it as a very discriminatory/ignorant post - the neighbours have learning difficulties ergo they are going to harm my children.

I can understand this logic. Often, learning disabled people have no understanding of 'cause and effect', so they may not realise if they do 'this', then 'that' will happen. They also often do not possess the 'switch' that other people have, that makes them stop before demonstrating inappropriate of unacceptable behaviour. I think it's understandable that people wonder how erratic the behaviour of a learning disabled person may be and on what level of seriousness. In reality, the vast majority of learning disabled people will not have issues worthy of concern to others but any that do, will either have a full time carer or will be housed in a more secure environment, so I really don't think there is any cause for worry by the OP.

puddy wrote: »

my god, you use terms like 'these people' and that your child in the supermarket responded non too positively the other day when someone with disabilities was present. what the hell does that say about the messages they receive from you, their parent about 'difference'. children pick up what their parents give out. racist parent = racist child, violent parent = violent child, in your case, its someone who is either fearful or discriminatory against people with disabilities who has passed this on to their child. i feel sorry for you

I think this is a very unfair and judgementive post. This is not always the case. My 4 year old was scared witless by my disabled aunt. My aunt is deaf and dumb and was diagnosed many years ago as '!!!!!!'. (I realise that term is outdated but I'm using it for the purposes of the thread and clarity.) My aunt was a scary looking person with twisted limbs who sat in a chair and made noises when she smiled or got excited. She didn't get visitors very often so needless to say she got very excited when we used to arrive. No matter how well we'd prepared my daughter, she was still terrified when faced with her. From her point of view, my aunt must have seemd like some sort of ogre. It took years for her to be able to stop feeling scared. And she has a learning disabled brother at home so it's not as if we're a family unused to disabilities. Some children just feel naturally scared of things different to themselves. Sure they can learn in time to understand the differences and deal with their feelings but it's wrong to accuse the OP of conveying his feelings to his kids and causing their fear.

Errata wrote: »

Be prepared to draw a blank. If I was a worker in supported accommodation and someone who thought they might fancy buying the house next door wanted to ask me questions about the people I'm working with I'd tell them to put their questions in writing to my manager - and expect them to be told nothing with a subtext of 'jog off'.

There are 2 care homes I know of who welcome people from the community in through their doors. They feel it helps break down barriers and aids understanding of others. Perhaps if the OP phoned to (tactfully!) explain he was considering moving into the area and wanted to find out more about the community in general, he would get a feel for whether they would be happy for him to visit?

When I first read this thread, my instinct as the parent of a learning disabled young adult, was to sook my lips together and tut at the ignorance of others. However the OP does have some valid concerns and to give him his due, he's come here with questions in an effort to learn more rather than automatically judge and dismiss people less able than him.

Errata

There are 2 care homes I know of who welcome people from the community in through their doors. They feel it helps break down barriers and aids understanding of others.

Fair comment, but in this case it's a semi detached suburban house not a care home.

deedee71

For me the issue would be night noise, as other posters with family members who have learning difficulties have pointed out, they can be quite noisy.

There is an autistic school in the neighbouring village and so when out and about my children and I often meet the residents with their carers in the supermarket, parks etc.

They can be noisy, and thrash about with no regard for their own safety never mind a passer by. I can see the point children may be alarmed but kids are very adabtable and curious and unless they were particularly sensitive wee souls I don't think they would bat an eye lid after a few encounters.

I hate having my sleep disturbed (it can take me weeks to get back to a proper sleep pattern again), so for me I wouldn't choose to live directly next door.