would yyou buy next to

tizerbelle

oneeye1 wrote: »

ps
its not the way they look that truly bothers me it is how safe are my children

Could you perhaps expand on your thoughts here? At the moment I read it as a very discriminatory/ignorant post - the neighbours have learning difficulties ergo they are going to harm my children.

This may not be what you intended and if not, I apologise for any offence however if it is what you mean then don't buy the house. Just because someone is different does not mean they are a threat to you or yours. However if you think they are and presumably you have no intention of arranging a meeting or a quick hello to get to know them better which could hopefully put your mind at rest / change your opinions then there is no point thinking about buying that house.

oneeye1

whitesatin thanx and i hear you but are some of thenm challenged in a way that they truly dont know what they are doing what if one slipped thru the carer and into my garden can i truly be sure that they know enuff about what is and isnt wrong.

you have to understand i havnt workeed with these people all my life or have had any sort of contact so yes i am totally ignorant to the truth and wish i was nt but i am so its a tuff one

puddy

my god, you use terms like 'these people' and that your child in the supermarket responded non too positively the other day when someone with disabilities was present. what the hell does that say about the messages they receive from you, their parent about 'difference'. children pick up what their parents give out. racist parent = racist child, violent parent = violent child, in your case, its someone who is either fearful or discriminatory against people with disabilities who has passed this on to their child. i feel sorry for you

whitesatin

oneeye1 wrote: »

whitesatin thanx and i hear you but are some of thenm challenged in a way that they truly dont know what they are doing what if one slipped thru the carer and into my garden can i truly be sure that they know enuff about what is and isnt wrong.

you have to understand i havnt workeed with these people all my life or have had any sort of contact so yes i am totally ignorant to the truth and wish i was nt but i am so its a tuff one

Maybe, oneeye1, but this could be a good opportunity for you to combine a new home with embracing new experiences. I am sure that you would feel reassured should you take some time to introduce yourself to the prospective neighbours and staff. Worth a try anyway.

When my children were very young we lived next door to someone who did not have special needs but it turned out that we actually should have been more alert as we did not know his history. Luckily nothing happened but you never know who you are actually living next to. At least there are people in charge in a care home, people who are trained carers. I am sure they would be happy to have a chat with you, to put your mind at ease.

tizerbelle

puddy wrote: »

my god, you use terms like 'these people' and that your child in the supermarket responded non too positively the other day when someone with disabilities was present. what the hell does that say about the messages they receive from you, their parent about 'difference'. children pick up what their parents give out. racist parent = racist child, violent parent = violent child, in your case, its someone who is either fearful or discriminatory against people with disabilities who has passed this on to their child. i feel sorry for you

Puddy, slighty off topic but while I have some issues with the OPs thought process (as per my previous post) I also have to say I have concerns about your response as well. My father was a racist violent bigot. According to you so am I and my brother. Sorry but we are not. If this is truly your belief then you are as "discriminatory" as the OP and need to challenge your own thoughts as well.

Back to topic - OP, I would second Whitesatin and say you could use this as a learning experience for you and the children but if you are not prepared to put the effort in, do not buy the house.

Errata

I think the fact has to be faced that some people aren't comfortable living next door to supported housing for people with LD. That may be the wrong attitude, but it exists and has to be accepted, just as we accept that many people would be happy to live next door.
People's attitudes are changing slowly, but it would be naive to expect a complete change overnight and if someone feels uncomfortable living next door to a group of people with LD then clearly they are not the best neighbours for the people with LD to have.

oneeye1

i am totally ignorant butpuddy you are out of order i have my faults and try not topass them own ie with religion i have no idea about people with l.d. and it seems a very broad term for people of varying difficulties how sure can i be that the one living on the other side of a wall are totally safe and yes i understand there are more lunatics out there who are supposed to be "normal".as for going and introducing my self i did this today thats how i found out as the estate agent had forgot this minor point when showing me around first time .i met the carers whom were very nice i also met a client who was not very talkative at all so i was unable to pass an oppinion the fact is it could be the bhest thing ever for me and kids but i have to think thru it

tyllwyd

But leaving aside the moral aspects of whether you should be happy living next door to a care home, this isn't a case of whether to live next to a family which happens to include a family member with special needs, it is whether to buy the other half of a semi-detached house where a care home business is being carried on, potentially 24 hours a day. It doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

Edited to say - sorry, cross-posted, I wasn't responding directly to your post above.

whitesatin

oneeye1 wrote: »

i am totally ignorant butpuddy you are out of order i have my faults and try not topass them own ie with religion i have no idea about people with l.d. and it seems a very broad term for people of varying difficulties how sure can i be that the one living on the other side of a wall are totally safe and yes i understand there are more lunatics out there who are supposed to be "normal".as for going and introducing my self i did this today thats how i found out as the estate agent had forgot this minor point when showing me around first time .i met the carers whom were very nice i also met a client who was not very talkative at all so i was unable to pass an oppinion the fact is it could be the bhest thing ever for me and kids but i have to think thru it

Fair enough, of course you need to think it through. Just take some time and maybe find out a bit more if you can.

Best wishes.

vet8

At the end of our road is a care home for teenagers with very severe L.D. It was established to enable them to leave home and have some sort of independent lives. When it was set up there was a lot of opposition from some very narrow minded people. Someone said in the local newspaper, "These people should be sent to live on Dartmoor"! When the carers took two of them to the local pub for an outing, someone leaving the pub actually called the police!

They walk along the road, which is unadopted, so very quiet, with their carers and, I must say, they can seem scary at first as they often scream and shout, they have poor body control and thrash about. But this could be any of us. I was furious with the real NIMBYs who objected in the first place.

Having said that, I do not think I would want to live right next door, not because of the teenagers, who are lovely when you get to know them, but because of the constant comings and goings of the staff 24 hours a day.