Has anyone's boyfriend ever fallen in love with other women?

DVardysShadow

cattkitt wrote: »

... so in a way, you do have friends here. (just invisible friends, but don't tell people about your invisible friends, it doesn't tend to go down well)

I think most people can accept invisible friends. But when 2 or more people share the same invisible friends, that is when others become really spooked.

cattkitt

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I think most people can accept invisible friends. But when 2 or more people share the same invisible friends, that is when others become really spooked.

Haven't tried that, but must do so now. Thanks!

Skint_Lynne

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. You will feel as if you have had your insides ripped out. I know the feeling.

Now, we all get a big kick in the teeth a few times during our life - it's a pity that it always can't be rosy in the garden.

Let him go, as I can assure you that someone that deserves you will come along sooner or later. You are wasting your time on this person, he sounds like a bit of a fly by night. He must have no consideration for your feelings at all, I mean, he is so cheeky, he is flaunting it in your face.

A friend of mine was dropped with the bombshell that her OH had been cheating on her whilst working away from home approx 4 years ago. The poor thing was devastated and thought her life was over. She said to me at the time "who's going to want me, I have 2 kids by 2 different guys". She had 2 relationships in her life, one marriage and one long term relationship of 10 years.

Fast forward to the present day, she is at her happiest place ever, she got married to a very nice man exactly 1 week ago and between them, they have a happy family of 3 girls and 1 boy.

Every cloud has a silver lining so look forward and get rid of this horrible person. You take care of yourself. xxx

thorsoak

hurt wrote: »

This is my problem.. I have very few friends and he became my best friend and then my lover. I have little in the way of support systems around me and I'm not sure how to rely on myself.

You are the one person who you can rely upon - just be kind to yourself - as others have said - enjoy a DVD, listen to some music, have a lovely bubble bath - and arrange to treat yourself very soon!
Make a date with yourself - plan to go somewhere that you'd love to go - and go -just yourself - and enjoy indulging yourself for once!

{hugs}

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

Ok, from both sides of the fence here. Firstly, although I wouldn't have believed it myself once, it is possible to be "in love" with more than one person. I am, and I know there are many, many others like me.

However, from your original post I get the feeling that your B/F is confusing lust with love. Either that, or he's just not very articulate, and he's speaking of platonic love.

Please don't think that you need to stay with him out of fear, you can, and will survive if you end things. Good luck. xx

Emmzi

have a google of polyamory

if he wants to discuss this lifestyle with you make sure you do lots of thinking about open and honest communications, trust and boundaries

if it isn't for you, don't be pressured

if you need monogamy and he cannot offer it, get rid sooner than kater - the delay makes it hurt more

heretolearn_2

I've been in exactly the same situation. Yes, some people can live like this - look up polyamory. But I knew it's not for me, so I finished it. It was a painful decision but a bit of short term hurt is better than looking at a lifetime of hurt. At the end he started crying and saying 'none of my relationships work, I can't help being like this, it's just the way I am' and at that point I just felt so disgusted with him it made me feel a bit better to be shot of the loser (your relationships don't work? I wonder why...lol).

I spent a couple of years in fairly casual relationships until I met Mr HtL, and we've been solid together for nearly 10 years now.

Don't throw yourself away on someone who doesn't deserve you or who can't offer what you need. I know it's a cliche but right when you don't expect it the right man will pop up, I promise.

paddy's_mum

I believe you need to find out from him exactly what he means when he says he loves other people. If he means that he has had sex with some other woman, you need to get your sexual health checked out, and soon. A man who is quite prepared to kick you in the emotional guts with a statement like his has no respect for anyone ... not even himself!

If he's so coldly cruel so early in your joint lives, what sort of doormat do you think you'll be fifteen or twenty years down the line? Good luck.

onlyroz

I was reading an article the other day that said we're not meant to be monogamous - it's only when we started to gather property that monogamy became common (because then people wanted to know which of the kids in the tribe were theirs, so that they knew who should inherit the property). Until then, everyone slept with everybody else, and all the kids were reared by the whole tribe. I doubt that helps you much though, in your current situation...

Running_Horse

I assume he has no objections to you falling in love with several other men?