Should I feed DD?!

Owain_Moneysaver

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Every day she gets some kind of veg on her plate with dinner and everyday she takes it off the plate...how long does this last for?!

About 18 years, usually.

merlin1

angelicmary85 wrote: »

You're right, it isn't.

I've taken her to the doctor who said she was fine, HV's have said she's fine but when a 2year old can't 'poop' then surely that's not fine!

hi, i dont very often post in here but this quote stood out for me.

i too have a very fussy eater, he's now 11 (and much much better) but it all started when he was about 18mth/2yrs old. he began to refuse certain foods - namely the those of the vegetable variety but also meat, anything that required chewing he wouldnt eat. he also had trouble eating anything dry with wet, ie suasages with gravy, if one was touching the other he wouldnt eat it.

i'm going to tell you my experience quite simply as a cautionary tale.

perfectly toilet trained at 18nths my son got a nasty tummy bug at around 2 yrs old, chronic 'runs' and shortly after got constipated. quite normal and usual i was told. only his constipation continued. i 'hid' alsorts of veg in his meals to try and help but to no avail. following that he started pooping his pants. i couldnt for the life of me understand why, and many a time i would find poop smeared over the walls, soiled pants hidden in strange places. i got frustrated, he was getting cross with me, his behaviour was horrendous.

i contacted our health visitor, who told me he was using his poop to make me cross and get me to do what he wants. so following her advice i continued to ignore the mess i faced day after day and reward the little bit of good i was getting.

a whole year later i was at the end of my tether. at 3 years old i took him to my doctors and said if you dont help me now i dont know what i'll do. i explained to the doctor and he referred us to a consultant and the hospital.

further investigation showed that he had an enlarged colon - due to that bout of constipation when he was a baby. he ended up on numerous laxatives to give his bowel chance to recover but thanks to our health visitor it was too late. he didnt know he was pooping his pants - it was this frustration that made him behave the way he did. the pooping of pants was 'breakthrough'. his colon was backed up. he had no idea. couldnt feel it. at and 11 years still cant 'feel' the need to go.

we were offered an operation, which meant removing a section of his bowel. on speaking with the surgeon its something that is better off done when older, so this will be up to him.

i have had to sit with him time and again while he goes. the pain he goes through due to the size of the ball that results from the weakness in his bowel is shocking. for 10yrs now i have to tell him to go to toilet every day, although he now takes himself.

i cant begin to describe the feelings even now as a parent knowing that this couldve been prevented had we been reffered just a year earlier. and this is the point of my post, please please if your child isnt going poop properly, get it checked out! i'm sure our story is rare but even so dont leave it to chance.

my boy now at 11 is eating meat and veg, no pressure, and he eats damned well. but we still live with the legacy of a judgement made by a health visitor that turned out to be totally wrong.

please if there's any concern on your girls pooping go to your doc! but dont get too hung up on what she's eating, stay strong and she will eat what you feed her, some kids are grazers, little and often through the day, others are like my boy but you'll be surprised that actually they are getting their 5 a day, you just dont realise it

hooooge appologies for the length of my post! x

mikey72

angelicmary85 wrote: »

We've tried her with different (mild-ish) curries and a mild chilli.

The more I read what I'm typing, the worse it's sounding!!

Not "worse", you're going a good job, keep at it.

meritaten

I took a look at the things you say she does eat - and they are nearly all rather liquid foods. nothing that requires chewing. I would get her tonsils checked out and if GP says they are ok then would try liquidising 'normal' meals for her and then gradually make the meals more 'chunky'. she may not like the texture of normal food. or she may not like to chew her food?
just a thought hun?

msb5262

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I would stand at the cooker making her pots of mashed 'stuff' that she wouldn't eat, it got a bit depressing after a while.

I went into the supermarket and bought one of everything I could afford. I bought cereals, jars of baby food, veg for making soup, I even went as far as fresh tuna steaks !!!!!!!

Over the next few days we tried her with a bit of this and that and the hoops were the only thing (alongside supernoodles) that she would eat.

Hi angelicmary,
It sounds as if you've tried everything.
You've tried really hard.
Stop trying everything!
Just decide on your long term plan of action and do that.
Do not deviate from your plan!
Serve ordinary food to the whole family, in a family setting.
Be relentlessly calm and positive.
Tune out all the bad behaviour and if it becomes really unacceptable, quietly remove her from the scene, and continue the meal.
It will be hard but every time you give her the food she demands, you're starting back at square 1...

mikey72

meritaten wrote: »

I took a look at the things you say she does eat - and they are nearly all rather liquid foods. nothing that requires chewing. I would get her tonsils checked out and if GP says they are ok then would try liquidising 'normal' meals for her and then gradually make the meals more 'chunky'. she may not like the texture of normal food. or she may not like to chew her food?
just a thought hun?

Pork pies and willie winkies?

mikey72

Just read the super noodles, are they still liked, or really hated now?

angelicmary85

merlin1 wrote: »

perfectly toilet trained at 18nths my son got a nasty tummy bug at around 2 yrs old, chronic 'runs' and shortly after got constipated. quite normal and usual i was told. only his constipation continued. i 'hid' alsorts of veg in his meals to try and help but to no avail. following that he started pooping his pants. i couldnt for the life of me understand why, and many a time i would find poop smeared over the walls, soiled pants hidden in strange places. i got frustrated, he was getting cross with me, his behaviour was horrendous.

i contacted our health visitor, who told me he was using his poop to make me cross and get me to do what he wants. so following her advice i continued to ignore the mess i faced day after day and reward the little bit of good i was getting.

a whole year later i was at the end of my tether. at 3 years old i took him to my doctors and said if you dont help me now i dont know what i'll do. i explained to the doctor and he referred us to a consultant and the hospital.

further investigation showed that he had an enlarged colon - due to that bout of constipation when he was a baby. he ended up on numerous laxatives to give his bowel chance to recover but thanks to our health visitor it was too late. he didnt know he was pooping his pants - it was this frustration that made him behave the way he did. the pooping of pants was 'breakthrough'. his colon was backed up. he had no idea. couldnt feel it. at and 11 years still cant 'feel' the need to go.

we were offered an operation, which meant removing a section of his bowel. on speaking with the surgeon its something that is better off done when older, so this will be up to him.

i have had to sit with him time and again while he goes. the pain he goes through due to the size of the ball that results from the weakness in his bowel is shocking. for 10yrs now i have to tell him to go to toilet every day, although he now takes himself.

i cant begin to describe the feelings even now as a parent knowing that this couldve been prevented had we been reffered just a year earlier. and this is the point of my post, please please if your child isnt going poop properly, get it checked out! i'm sure our story is rare but even so dont leave it to chance.

my boy now at 11 is eating meat and veg, no pressure, and he eats damned well. but we still live with the legacy of a judgement made by a health visitor that turned out to be totally wrong.

Wow...that's really shocking!!

angelicmary85

mikey72 wrote: »

Just read the super noodles, are they still liked, or really hated now?

She'll eat them occasionally but I don't want her to have them

HelenKA_2

I have never figured how to quote without having to delete a lot of text but

Your huband offering her his plate maybe wasn't a great idea - next time you could let her have a spoon off your plate - if she eats it high praise and ask if she'd like some more - no reaction if she says no - but if she eats another one just let it stop there - if she eats the whole thing of your plate then great - that's what I mean by pre-planned eating off your plate.

I remember feeling really hungry and then being handed a huge plateful at friends houses when I was little - the sight of that just turned off my appetite immediately. Now I only ever give a small bit to any child in the house, but I always say they can have more if they want it, just try that bit first. That way I don't get so annoyed when they don't eat up what is on the plate which I have to then throw away!