really old style living?

NualaBuala

ChocClare wrote: »

Can you make a colcannon-y sort of thing with it? Potatoes and the kale, chopped up, plus some onions and bacon? And lots of butter, mmmmm....:D

Yum yum yum! If I put some cheese on top that would include all my favourite foods in one go! Thanks for the suggestion.:T

mardatha wrote: »

I LOOKED !

:eek::eek::eek:

Well I did warn you! Now try to think good thoughts, happy non-kaley thoughts and hopefully you'll have recovered by tomorrow when I'm scoffing my colcannon-y mixture of kaley yumminess!

smileyt_2

Ginny! Oh, I am hopping mad on your behalf. If we were allowed to swear on here this page would be covered in four-letter words. I don't know how you are coping with this, my blood pressure has shot through the roof just reading your post.

Tell your OH to collapse in the room when he gets there, or burst into tears. Get as much help as you can in challenging the decision. If you want any help writing letters or anything, let me know. I know we didn't get to go foraging because of the weather, but letter-writing can be done indoors!

I just want to go up to David Cameron and slap him across the face.

Primrose

ginnyknit - I'm not sure exactljy what your OH's disability is - whether you've mentioned it and I've missed it, but regarding his "nervous breakdown", are there any confidence building/assertiveness Adult Education classes near you that might give him some help in being able to cope with change again? It's the time of year when they all start. Having an episode like that can be a really demolishing experience, and sometimes being together with a number of people in a group who are all experiencing the same problems and doing exercises together can help make it feel less lonely and more supported. Alternatively, your local library may have some books on building self confidence. I somehow doubt whether these interviews will provide much in the way of providing practical support in enabling people to build up confidence again to the point where they feel they can go knocking on doors in the search for a job.

ChocClare

ginnyknit wrote: »

Bad news in the post Dh has to go to a group aimed on getting him back to work. He is blithely unaware of this as he is out today having a couple of hours fishing with his disabled group. I am going to ring a nice lady who helped us before at the local Dhss office.

I do sympathise, as my DH suffered from depression when his parents died within a short time of each other (leaving him an "orphan" - that is exactly how he felt) and he was physically incapable of any work as a result. It took him such a long time to recover, and it was only the fact that his parents (who were divorced) had each left him money that kept us from going under financially. Unfortunately it is one of those things which you can only look at objectively when it's over - when you are in the middle of it, coping with anything unexpected/ challenging (or even not particularly challenging) can seem like such an insurmountable obstacle.

Is it one of these Condition Management things that are part of the Pathways to Work? They are at least run by the NHS rather than the JobCentre, and their aim is to help people better understand and manage their disability, rather than just get back into work.

Allegedly.

I hope your nice DSS lady is able to help. :grouphug:

ginnyknit

Thank you all so much(as ever) for your support and kind words. Dh had a minor surgery 4 years ago which went horribly wrong and whilst they were saving his life they injected something (painkiller or anti emetic) into his sciatic nerve thus destroying it from the inside. He struggles to walk is in constant pain and sleeps maybe 4 hours a night. His meds regime is huge and has had side effects such as bowel problems - last year he had all the symptoms of bowel cancer and whilst it was dealt with swiftly and was negative the strain was horrendous. He was a builder and took up high level bank security till it became too much. The main problem is he was a sportsman, referee and cricket umpire.

Luckily we both have a very strong sense of humour and I sat him down when he got home and explained it all and luckily he managed to take it all in with out too much bad reaction. The problem will be when we actually go to the sessions. He is in the process of seeing a psychologist who hopefully will help him, but he cannot cope with group sessions.

Im not trying to bore you all to death here I just wanted to explain. We are off to the pain clinic tomorrow to see a wonderful, supportive doctor who totally understands - rare isnt it. But there is nothing really anyone can do for him but try to control the pain and after 2 years of seeing him they have not managed it yet.

So you see why this board is so good for me, I can talk to people who totally understand that what the government intend and what actually happens are 2 different things.

Anyway been up since 6 after 3 hours sleep so am off to curl up with a good book - CS 50p!:T:T

NualaBuala

Your poor DH, that's terrible. I'm glad he has access to a proper pain clinic where they will get what a big deal it is to have pain day in day out. I think some doctors probably don't understand. And at least he has you Ginny, he's a lucky man in that respect at least! BTW - it may not be his cup of tea but I have heard some people with chronic pain who got a lot of benefit out of meditation. It doesn't cure the pain or anything, but can help cope with it and all the problems that go with it.

Enjoy your bargain book ... don't know how you're still awake after so little sleep!

mardatha

However calmand sensible and well balanced you are - if you get plonked there on a chair facing a row of people asking personal questions about your health - or lack of it - it strips away all your outer hard shell and leaves you feeling vulnerable and violated. Tell him be a mirror and bounce it back at them! xxx

ChocClare

My brother-in-law worked for the RUC many years ago and was shot five times in the stomach and left for dead in an IRA attack. They managed to save his life but he has a cholostomy to contend with and was still having operations last year.

He is now a minister and a qualified psychologist specialising in post traumatic stress disorder. He divides his time between his church work and his thriving practice and is just about the most peaceful person I know - he exudes calm!

The reason I am telling you all this is that - as Nuala says - meditation is a big part of his life and something he recommends. Your DH may not have been in a war, Ginny, but what happened to him could certainly be classed as traumatic. Just a thought anyway...

Primrose

ginnyknit - have sent you a pm if you can check your inbox. If you've not used it before, click UserCP on top green tool bar, then select Private Messages on left dialogue box which appears.

NualaBuala

Wow Choccy, your BIL is a real inspiration to come from such a terrible experience to helping others.

Well my own experience of meditation is great - it helped me through depression and is helping me cope with the ME/fibromyalgia too. But I try to hold back from evangalising!:D

So today is K-day and I will be making a big batch of colcannon for dinner and am also going to chuck some of the tougher bits of you-know-what in a veg soup along with the thick broccoli stalks I put to one side. Yum!

It's ok Mardatha, you can come out now, all that filthy K-talk is over ... for now.