Split Up

Pollycat

Sloppychops
I think that's a very positive perspective from GeeGee8.
It sounds good that he's willing to talk and seems to accept that you both have issues.

I think he should not underestimate how hurtful it was for you when he said that he was unsure if he was still in love with you.
That would impact on anybody's confidence.

I hope the weekend goes well.

sloppychops

Not good at all at the moment.i feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world.Saw hubby over the weekend to try and sort our relationship out.Well on his part its sorted and he told me he doesnt feel anything for me now and thats that.
Me i feel like i have lost my husband,lover,best friend all in one go and its ripped me apart.I cant get to grips with losing him at all and its killing me inside.2 weeks ago things seemed good and now this.
I know i have been given goodadvice but when will this pain end,when will i stop feeling like this.

pelirocco

sloppychops wrote: »

Not good at all at the moment.i feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world.Saw hubby over the weekend to try and sort our relationship out.Well on his part its sorted and he told me he doesnt feel anything for me now and thats that.
Me i feel like i have lost my husband,lover,best friend all in one go and its ripped me apart.I cant get to grips with losing him at all and its killing me inside.2 weeks ago things seemed good and now this.
I know i have been given goodadvice but when will this pain end,when will i stop feeling like this.

I dont know if its any consolation , but I very much doubt its anything you have done . You really dont walk out and lose feelings for someone because they start questioning you ................just look at it logically , if it had been the other way round , would you have left him?

sloppychops

pelirocco wrote: »

I dont know if its any consolation , but I very much doubt its anything you have done . You really dont walk out and lose feelings for someone because they start questioning you ................just look at it logically , if it had been the other way round , would you have left him?

.
Never in a million years would i have left him,he is my heart and soul and i would have fought tooth and nail for him which is what i have tried to do but he wasnt having any of it.

foreign_correspondent

sloppychops wrote: »

.
Never in a million years would i have left him,he is my heart and soul and i would have fought tooth and nail for him which is what i have tried to do but he wasnt having any of it.

He wasnt having any of it - you are dead right, this is not your fault, he is the one who started the process by saying he didnt love you.

After dropping that bombshell it doesnt appear he made massive efforts to sort the relationship out - instead of deciding to spend more time together to see if you still have feelings for one another, he retreats onto the computer leaving you comfused and hurt - I am not at all surprised you felt jealous and needy, and tried to pinpoint a reason (eg. cheating) for his changing behaviour.

When confronted by such a massive rejection it is human nature to try and find a rational explanation for the changes in him. You are blaming yourself, but he set the process off in motion when he said he didnt love you - whether there is someone else or not is beside the point really, but I can understand you wanting to establish what the cause of the change was.

Stop blaming yourself - it is not your fault - of course, it makes life easier (for him) if he blames you, but ultimately he does not come out of this very well...

I am really sorry, you must be incredibly hurt, but dont compound that with blaming yourself. You will come out the other side of this, but I know it may be hard to envisage that right now. Take care of yourself,

fc x

denton6

hugs so sorry, cant really say alot at moment cos really really struggling too right now. take care x

Quackers

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Stop blaming yourself - it is not your fault - of course, it makes life easier (for him) if he blames you, but ultimately he does not come out of this very well...

I am really sorry, you must be incredibly hurt, but dont compound that with blaming yourself. You will come out the other side of this, but I know it may be hard to envisage that right now. Take care of yourself,

fc x

Ditto

Big hugs to you SloppyChops...

It's soooooo tough at the beginning... when you've been with someone for so long being alone is so very weird/odd/difficult etc.

Its almost as if you are grieving for the life you thought you had?

Its an old cliche but it will get better...it just takes time.

Take each day as it comes. some will be and some will be but eventually there will be more than days...

Big hugs xxx

sloppychops

Thanks for all the replies.
Got up this morning and i feel awful,a big hole in my life and not sure how to start filling it.I seem to wander around the house like a lost sheep not knowing what to do or think.
Mornings and nights for me seem to be the worst,i cry myself to sleep(well what little sleep i am getting).
I miss him so much its unbearable at times.Had to go to the bank yesterday and that took all my energy just to get there and sort out my account.
I lost alot of friends when i was married (i know not a thing i really should of done but it happened) but a couple have been really supportive of me through this and are always saying pop round ect but i feel like im putting upon them and as soon as i have left i am as lonely and lost as ever,it feels like im never gonna stop feeling this despair im going through.
Still not eating much at all and i feel sick because of that but then if i try to eat i still feel sick.Just wish this heartache and pain would go as its driving me nuts.

sloppychops

Well been around a friends today and it helped a little to talk and cry,but as soon as i left i got that dreaded empty lost feeling again.
How could he do this to me,all i have ever done is loved him and would never of hurt him in any way,im devastated.

GEEGEE8

I think you have to give it time x it's all very raw at the moment and you are stuck in time.

When I left my ex, kind of a joint decision, I moved to an unknown area and was on my own, started seeing my now OH, but even though I had a boyfriend I saw occasionally I walked around in my own bubble.. it felt awful and I felt extreemely isolated. Things are fine now though and I guess it's the shock of a big life change that makes you feel like you are in a giant bubble.

I relied heavily on friends when I was going through this, as I didn't want to rely on a new boyfriend and didn't think it was right to, I was mourning my old life I guess, only now do I see that x