biting

Anthillmob

hello all long time no see.

a bit of advice please.

our 4 year old daugher has started buting our 2 year old son and pinching him. at bath time i noticed 5 child sized bite marks and numerous buises from pinches which no dout i will have to explain to the nursery they attend.

she likes to boss him around and if he dont do what she tells him [they play a while before they get in their beds -happy bedtime for all of us allowing them to play for a while-] she has taken to biting or pinvhing him.

when confronted about it as he lets us know by squealing/crying, she gets tearful with the occasional tantrum or clams up. ive asked if anything is troubling her which is met with a no.

we assure the kids all the time that they can talk any worries they may have or questions they have zbout anything thrugh with us and that they must never keep secrets from us.

any ideas?

nursery always say what a lovely little girl she is and what a lovely little boy boris is [boris is his nickname for those who dont know] and there is never any trouble at nursery or at home. mine and the OH's relationship is wonderful and we have no arguments or anything.

meritaten

sorry - I may have your post wrong - but do you expect your two year old to SAY if his sister is bullying him? you have seen the evidence - the bite marks - but appear to be reluctanct to actually TAKE any action. Squeels of pain from 'boris' are dealt with how? from your post its by asking your FOUR year old whats wrong? then the attention goes on her doesnt it?

FIVE!! bite marks and numerous bruises???? hun, this baby is being abused!!! by your daughter. you need to stop it now. Pull your fingers out of your !!!!!! and protect that baby! you dont ever leave him alone with her! if they sleep in same room then move the baby out - into yours if necessary! and speak to the health visitor or gp about your daughters violence towards her brother. it cannot go on!

Bubby

I think the previous post is a bit harsh:eek:

I would speak to your health visitor they normally have seen this a dozen times. My brother was a biter.....until he was bitten (however I am not advocating biting your daughter)

I would not allow them to play unsupervised until this behaviour stops though

****kara****

Both my children bit me and I bit them back. Not hard but enough to shock them. Needless to say they both only done it the once same as pinching I pinched them back also. It may sound harsh but it worked for me and tbh at 4 yrs old she is old enough to know it is wrong. I wouldn't leave them alone either until the problem is sorted

meritaten

I dont think I am being harsh - I think these parents need to protect their baby against what sounds like a very jealous sister. and I wouldnt want to be in their shoes if they ever had to take that baby to A&E for anything and explain the bite marks and bruises!

whitewing

I agree at 4 she is plenty old enough not to do it and to know it is wrong.

How about having her sit with you as you write a note to nursery explaining what happened and that she won't do it again (assuming she promises not to).

McKneff

****kara**** wrote: »

Both my children bit me and I bit them back. Not hard but enough to shock them. Needless to say they both only done it the once same as pinching I pinched them back also. It may sound harsh but it worked for me and tbh at 4 yrs old she is old enough to know it is wrong. I wouldn't leave them alone either until the problem is sorted

:eek: gasp.................

I am absolutely horrified at your post, you tell your children that it is wrong to bite, then bite them, so its okay now then. Make no mistake madam, you have abused your children, and you should be ashamed of yourself. Would you have allowed some one in a nursery to have done this to your children to 'teach them a lesson' no you would have had the police involved.
You ought to be flogged, either that or a psychiatrist.

****kara****

Oh please it was a very light touch if you can even call it that, enough to shock them like I said. your making it sound like I marked or took chunks out of them which I didn't !!!!!!. I literally placed my teeth on there skin that was it and I didn't even close my jaw so it wasn't exactly a bite NOT that I have to explain myself to you

McKneff

****kara**** wrote: »

Oh please it was a very light touch if you can even call it that, enough to shock them like I said. your making it sound like I marked or took chunks out of them which I didn't !!!!!!. I literally placed my teeth on there skin that was it and I didn't even close my jaw so it wasn't exactly a bite NOT that I have to explain myself to you

You said yourself, you bit them. to give them a shock, (hence your inetention was to hurt) full stop, now youre trying to justify yourself.
If you placed your teeth on them, what was the point of that. again, you said you bit them. I am a 60 year old nana, brought my chidren up and have 5 grandchildren, if i thought for one moment my kids had done that to my grandchildren they would get the rough edge of my tongue and probably a slap into the bargain. But they are old enough to fight back. Children who have been bitten by their parents arent. I dont retract any of my original post.
Youre reasoning to stop your child biting is nuts to be honest.

sassy_one

Hi OP

Sorry to hear what has been going on and the problems you have found yourself up against.

I would not like to personally say why she may be doing this, but there are a number of reasons.

Does your son seek more attention, and get more attention than her?

If you are that concerned, which quite rightly it seems you are, a trip to your GP would be advised, they will not judge and may be able to offer counselling for not only your daughter but you as parents.

I wish you all the very best and hope that it's something she will grow out of.

****kara****

Again your making it sound like I had taken chucks out of them. Ok maybe I should have explained myself better in my first post as reading it back makes me sound like a 'bit, bit' them. Place your teeth on your skin does it hurt? no it was more the fact that they thought I was going to do it that stopped them doing again and I explained to them it's not very nice and they musn't do it again and that was the end of that. I would in no way hurt them like that EVER