What Happens Next? Re: School

PrincessPlaty

My DD1 is 5 and in reception year of the local school, due to start in year 1 in September.

Since just after she started school last September her behaviour changed (tantrums, crying a lot, not wanting to do as she was told) initially i put it down to the fact that she was over tired due to starting school, however it continued.

The class teacher always remarked how quiet she was and how she had made no real friends and just seemed to play with everybody and how she would 'tap' the teacher rather than talk to her. All of this is not my daughter at all she has always been happy, confident and very talkative! At least 3 of the other children in her class she was playing with outside of school aswell and are close to.

She then started complaining of stomach ache a lot backwards and forwards to the doctors with her and could find no reason for it. I had the school on my back who then contacted the EWO because her attendance was around 86% at this point. They agreed to just monitor the situation as all her time off was backed up with appointments at the doctors.

About 2 months ago she started talking in her sleep, refused to sleep in her own bed wanting to sleep in mine. She was saying things like 'You know my name, how many times do i have to tell you it?' and 'im not walking to slowly'. Tried talking to her about it and she didnt really have much to say.

The school have always remarked about how far behind all the other children she is, and just after her talking in her sleep she came home with her note in her reading record book saying 'Needs to learn her words or she wont progress she is very behind' at this point the class teacher had her on stage 1 of the oxford reading tree (the ones with just pictures and no words) i had actually brought the oxford reading tree at home and she was reading level 1 and 2 with me at ease. I got her to read one of them with me and to read her words to me which she did with no problems, the next day i took her into school and asked to speak with the headteacher who wasnt available so i spoke with the senco and i asked DD1 to read the book from home to her, and then i showed her the reading record book.

DD1 went down to class and i spoke with the senco who agreed to speak with DD and try and get to the bottom of the problem and have her assessed by the literacy coordinator.

Spoke with the senco after school DD had been assessed and was actually reading at 3 levels higher than what the class teacher said she was. She had also spoken to DD and DD had said the she was scared of the class teacher as she shouts all the time.

With a lot of encouragement from myself and the senco she was in school everyday but she wasnt happy, the stomach aches still continued but i still sent her in. Kept reminding her that she only had a few more weeks left at school and to just try and stick it out.

Then last Thursday DD came out of school visibly upset a couple of the other parents even asked if she was ok. She wouldnt talk to me in the playground but i spoke with her on the way home where she had told me that the teacher had grabbed her by the shoulder.

At lunchtime she had asked a dinnerlady if she could go to the water fountain who had told her yes and told her to go to a particular class she didnt know where that class was so they went to one by their classroom instead. At this point the class teacher saw them both shouted at them telling them they should be with a teacher, grabbed my DD by the shoulder and pushed her then held on to her hand really tight and it hurt.

Spoke to her a bit more about it and she said that when the class teacher shouts she gets pains in her tummy, which explained the stomach aches for so long but the doctors not being able to find a cause.

She had a really bad night on Thursday waking up 5 or 6 times throughout the night having nightmares, i phoned the school and asked to speak with the headteacher and was told that she wasnt in so i told them i would be keeping DD at home that day.

On the Saturday it was the school fete, i actually saw the headteacher over there and asked her if she was going to be in school on monday morning and said that i needed to speak to her, she asked me if it was about the class teacher to which i replied yes. She responded with will you put it in writing for me? i have had a lot of complaints but i cant do anything unless it is in writing.

Monday morning i took DD into school with my complaint in writing. The head explained that she didnt know what to do in this situation and that she would have to contact the county council to find out and would let me know. She asked DD if she would like to go into a different class for the day which she agreed to and did quite happily.

Monday afternoon she came out of school with a smile on her face for the first time ever, the change in her was amazing! She went back in to the other class again yesterday and i have still not had anymore contact with the head however i intend on going in to speak to her this morning again.

At the moment though the class teacher is still there teaching DD's original class, DD is now going to be on day 3 of being in the new class she is missing her friends and i dont really know what to do.
I have spoke with a few other parents that i know who have all had similar problems with the class teacher in question one of which i was talking to yesterday is actually taking her DS out of the school because of the class teacher and the way the school have handled the situation!

So my question is and im hoping someone on here will know the answer, where do i go from here? what should be happening from the school side?

Also if anyone has any practical advice as to how i can keep encouraging my DD to go to school because quite frankly im rapidly running out of options

Thanks in advance.

neneromanova

Christ! I would expect her to be suspended until this has been sorted (the class teacher). I would talk to some other mothers about this and get them all to write a letter stating this to the headteacher. I would also copy the letter to the head of governers and LEA i think they're called. This is totally uncalled for. I would also be tempted to go talk to the class teacher and tell her if she EVER grabs my daughter again then she will know about it. Is this teacher old or young?

peachyprice

By asking for you to put your complaint in writing it sounds as if the head is gathering enough evidence to get rid of her. It must be very hard with reception aged children for the head to get to the bottom of what is going on as they're not mature enough to speak up for themselves and back each other up, it's the teachers word against 2nd hand recounts from parents.

Have you been told which class your DD will be in next year? presumably they'll all be moving to another teacher and she'll be back with her friends.

For the sake of a couple more weeks I would ask if she could stay in the other class, or with the teacher she's going to get next year, maybe there are friends they could move with her to stop her feeling isolated.

mikey72

If an assalut has been alledged, the teacher should really be suspended at the moment, not teaching.

Fliparoo

Sorry that I can't help in any way with the question that you're asking but I just read your post and wept. I hope your DD's school get to the bottom of it soon so she can enjoy school!

Fliparoo

sueeve

The good thing is the change in your daughter when removed from that class. It does mean that in September you can feel very positive about the new year.
You could also write to the chair of govenors, copying to the head, or vice versa. The head is clearly concerned but is constrained. If she does not do everything by the book her efforts to remove the teacher will not work. Evidence is everything, and I am sure that classroom assistants will have somethng to contribute when they are formally questioned. Be aware that the legal department of her union will be involved. That shuld not touch you directly, but it does mean that action can be long drawn out.
However, as Mikey 72 says, alleged assault could well be grounds for suspension.
If she could stay in the new class for a week, what about an early holiday!

pinknfluffy0

Something like this happened to a friend of mines dd but it was a classroom assistant. She contacted the NSPCC about the assault as the school didnt do much. Amazingly after that things happened very quickly.

ALIBOBSY

What a horrid situation, my eldest at that age wasn't a big fan of school, but then he isn't now at 12. In our case it was just a case of him not liking it (our school was actually very good, keeping an eye out for bullying and other problems etc).
However he did have one year (year 2 I think) where he had a teacher he loathed. To be honest she was very strict and originally had been teaching the older juniors and this was her first year doing infants for a long time. I went in to see her with my son to discuss things with her. I was honest and assertive (not aggresive) I don't remember the whole conversation but I do remember telling her she needed to improve her people skills and needed to learn to tailor her lessons to the age and level of the children concerned. In fact she seemed quite shocked and then accepted that there were issues with her shouting and being aggressive (I wasn't the only parent who had issues-but I tend to be the one who actually complains and gets things done lol). She actually apologised to DS and after that he was fine with her, in fact he had her again when she went back into the juniors. My DS said although it was partly her behaviour which had improved, it was the fact that because of how he saw me discuss thing with her, he realised she wasn't some monster to be afraid of but a person doing a job. Plus he said I was "a bit scary" myself and he really felt like I was protecting him and could sort anything out for him (this is him looking back now he is older).

I would be in seeing the head to find out what is happening and also would want a direct meeting with the teacher concerned, mind you in fact after the grabbing incident I would have gone straight in to see the teacher. I would also be talking to the other parents and seeing if this is an issue to others, alot of people (seems to be a brit desease) will stand and moan but never actually do anything about it. Its amazing how if you offer to bring the complaint to the fore how many others will then go along with it, but would not do anything themselves. Worth a word with the school govs as well, ours are usually very good and one lady gov is brilliant and has sorted things for me and others on many occasions.

ali x

PrincessPlaty

See that was my initial thinking that the teacher in question should have been suspended pending further investigation but so far that hasnt been done.

She is an older woman and i found out from one of the other mums yesterday that she did used to teach older children, not sure how long she has been teaching reception for though.

I had problems getting DD into school this morning she didnt want to go into the other class she wanted to be with her friends, but didnt want to go into the class because of the teacher however luckily her teacher wasnt there and DD gets on really well with the teacher that covers for her so she went into her own class this morning.
Was a bit worried about this afternoon as i know the teacher is only there for this morning but because of the new intake this afternoon all 3 reception classes will be out on the field doing group activities and they have said they will make sure that DD isnt with her class teacher. I will be at the school this afternoon as DD2 is doing the intake (luckily with a different teacher!).

Tried to speak with the head this morning but she was in with another parent the office staff didnt know how long she was going to be and said she had to do the assembly straight after, so i said i would go in at 1 half an hour before the intake this afternoon and see her then.

She doesnt know which class she is going to be in next year yet they havent told any of the kids and wont be until after they have completed all the intake sessions.

So i guess it is going to be a case of waiting to see the head this afternoon to find out what is happening.

Thanks for all your replies much appreciated keep the ideas coming giving me lots to think about and act upon!

x

pigpen

I would have gone in to the class teacher and asked her outright NOT to manhandle my daughter.. she is not there for her to shove about she is there to be taught and if she cannot manage that maybe she should consider being elsewhere.

I refused to have my daughter in a class with a teach that shrieked constantly at the top of her voice.. so you could hear her the other side of the playground!

As the head says he cannot act if there are no written complaints.. he may have only received one.. hardly anything much to act upon.. Could you get some of the other parents to write and complain?

Last year DD4 had a teacher in yr1 who had gradually been moved down classes from year 5 and he simply could not cope with the small children he was totally out of his depth and ended up takign early retirement.. so I do have the small inkling this is how they 'persuade' teachers to retire early.. they give them an age group they are not happy teaching, make the staff miserable, the staff make the children miserable and the teacher leaves.. mission accomplished!

Keep on their case.. and don't back down! There isn't much else you can do really.. but I would be having words with the teacher myself about how she is handling the children.

PrincessPlaty

Seriously if i was to go and have a word with the teacher myself she more than likely would be leaving the school in an ambulance to be fair!
Thats my baby that has been affected for nearly a year by this teacher and now this has happened. I dont even grab my kids so i certainly dont take kindly to a teacher doing so.

I think personally i have taken the best course of action by not going to the teacher because if i did the outcome would probably be me being arrested!