Wedding cancelled- what do I do about dress?

moromir

Whitewing - I think there would be more sympathy if the OP was at least willing to face up to the fact that the situation is her own doing and there have been multiple opportunities to sort it out, of course the situation is "stressful", but that isn't an excuse not to deal with it and then act like somehow its the shop's fault when the shop quite rightfully says enough is enough. Talking about how she'd "rather" spend money elsewhere didn't help her case either. I'd rather own a pair of Jimmy Choos but I'm contractually obliged to pay my rent!

OP - let us know how it goes with the buildings insurance people and whether you have been able to come to an agreement with the shop.

Broken_hearted

How about coming up with a payment plan for the dress or selling it with the shops permission to cover what is left to pay. You may end up having to agree to pay any shorfall between what you owe and what it sells for.

Redfraggle_3

Firstly, I am not trying to shirk my responsibility. I just wanted to see if anyone knew where I stood. I hadnt realised the dress was supposed to be paid within 7 days of arriving. I had been trying to arrange for my family to come with me for the first fitting ( which is a challenge with working shifts and other summer commitments) and i had managed to get some overtime shifts which I had planned to use for the dress but wont get it until my August wage. I also didnt realise I had entered a contract. I thought it was like buying other retail items and that my deposit (which I knew was non refundable) meant that the shop covered the cost of ordering. If I didnt buy the dress then they had the deposit and the dress to sell. I was extremely hurt by the rude email i received on what should have been the eve of my wedding. I then felt that I didnt want to go back to that shop. I decided that if I bought the dress then I would ask them to post it rather than go back to the shop but then I felt like I had been denied that amazing day when I go to try on my dress.

My roof wont be covered by insurance or I would claim. Unfortunately water is seeping into the building each time in rains and has been causing terrible damage over the previous winter. I have only just discovered what has been happening and it is going to cost thousands to repair. It is terrifying. Winter will be here in the blink of an eye and I am very worried about it.

I understand that I have to find the money for the dress. I had contacted the shop to ask for their advice and assistance with this informing them of my financial difficulties. I emailed them at the same time as I posted here asking if anyone knew where I stood. If I had been the owner/manager of the shop I would have dealt with it differently and more sensitively. I was absolutely wrong to not notify them of the cancellation. I had a list of companies to contact and I thought I had contacted everyone. It was an oversight -not that I didnt really care about the shop being left out of pocket.

I have been unable to phone the shop because I am struggling at the moment and just cant do it which is why I have had to email. It is a challenge to keep going at the moment. What I found upsetting was that people who dont know me or my situation seemed to think I am a silly wee girl who simply changed her mind. I wanted to get married purely because I love my partner of 11 years. We have been through more than you can imagine and he is and has been in very poor health for much of our relationship. We wanted to get married in front of our family and friends as a celebration of us not for a chance to dress up and throw an expensive party.

Its fairly unlikely to happen now.

Broken_hearted

You have to remember everyone is going through a hard time financially at the moment. All you can do is do your best. The roof is the most important, everything else can get sorted in time.

mountainofdebt

OP

When a bridesmaid threw a strop and decided she wasn't going to be bridesmaid anymore to my sister, my mum lost the deposit paid for said bridesmaid's dress.......which was annoying as mum had paid more than the required amount but hey ho!

The way I see it you have a couple of options:

1) you can pay for the dress and keep it until you do get married or
2) you can pay for the dress and sell it on ebay.....at least you haven't had it altered in any way so I would imagine its more marketable.
3) you can pay for the dress and then perhaps sell it via a dress agency.

I can understand why you are upset but can you honestly say that it wasn't a case of bad timing and sensitivities have come to the fore?

The really bit I don't understand is why you've made the comment about not claiming on the home insurance......why bother having house insurance if when you need to and can, you don't? to me its like having an umbrella and not puting it up when it rains.

moromir

Broken_hearted wrote:

The roof is the most important, everything else can get sorted in time.

I'm sorry but if I've read this post right, this is downright irresponsible advice.

I don't mean to frighten her but the OP is in a situation where the shop could quite easily take her to small claims court if she isn't able to sort a financial solution with them and then not only will she have the cost of the dress to sort out, she'll have their court costs as well.

OP needs to face the dress situation head on and then deal with the other matters.

Is there any way the mortgage company would help the OP sort roof repairs (ie preserving the value of the property) and add the cost on the mortgage? I don't know if thats even possible?

Do the full repairs need doing? Is there a local builder who might be able to patch you up for now for less cost until you can afford the full repairs?

Redfraggle wrote:

If I had been the owner/manager of the shop I would have dealt with it differently and more sensitively.

My mum could tell you every sob story under the sun about why a girl didn't want a dress anymore, I'm not saying yours is a sob story but you have to realise that its likely that the store owner has heard it all before, and if shes (he?) is struggling to keep her business afloat, these scenarios swiftly start to sound repetative and I can imagine that its difficult to keep their cool when dealing with customers who by all accounts, are trying their best not to put the hard cash on the table (for whatever reason).

Its also clear that you've taken this all very emotionally - is it possible that a frank business letter (you ordered this, you now owe this) has been taken too personally?

[Deleted User]

Hi,

Redfraggle wrote: »

My roof wont be covered by insurance or I would claim. Unfortunately water is seeping into the building each time in rains and has been causing terrible damage over the previous winter. I have only just discovered what has been happening and it is going to cost thousands to repair. It is terrifying. Winter will be here in the blink of an eye and I am very worried about it.

my simple solution, and everybody's happy, pay for the dress, take it home and stuff it into the holes in your roof, sorted. :rotfl:

ChinaGriffin

Sorry to hear about your difficult situation. I think if you call the shop and arrange a time which is convenient for the owner/manager, you may be able to go in there and have a one-on-one chat to her, who knows- she might not be as bad as you think Perhaps you were feeling particularly emotional and the bad timing of the email made it come across harsher than she's meant? You can explain your situation to her and see whether you can arrange monthly payments on the dress. Once the dress is paid for you can either keep it or sell it, but that isn't the most important decision right now and you should probably think more about that once you actually have it in your possession. I think that communication is the key to everything and can resolve many problems. Good luck, I hope she can empathise with you.

I hope that one day in the future, you and your man can have a perfect weddig day

poppyolivia

I would get in contact with the shop as soon as possible just incase they take you down the small claims road!...I think if told them you can pay X amount per wk they would be happy???? (if you explain things)

paulwf

As I've worked for small businesses I think I can see the problem here.

They called 3 weeks ago to say the dress was ready, you then said you'd be in touch but you had money problems and then they didn't hear any more. You need to put yourself in their shoes OP, what would you have done if it was your business? If after 3 weeks you had heard nothing you would send a firm letter requesting payment. Just look on the employment board, it's what everybody says to do if their wages are a few days late!

You now seem to be unable to tackle this head on by calling the shop, only sending an email back. A shop can't survive on vague promises, they need a firm plan of action from you to show that you are serious. Firstly you need to pay them something, even £50, to show that you are starting to pay off the amount. You then need to give them a definite timescale to start paying for it in sensible amounts, perhaps £50 a month.

Sorry but you can't just ignore them for 3 weeks then still tell them you can't pay, if it was my business with that info I'd be threatening the small claims court. You need to avoid this so tell them immediately how you intend to pay for it.

BTW you know it is a custom item so your reasoning that it's the same as other consumer goods doesn't make sense. If someone orders an off the peg item and doesn't pick it up it can be resold, but it will be much harder with a custom made dress so the deposit won't cover it.