MSE Parents Club Part 13

ManOnTheMoon

3onitsway wrote: »

Bad news here is; i've not had any response whatsoever from the crappy, sh!tty, rip off holiday people.

Good new is; Don't know if any off the older members remember last June OH's best friend & wife had a little boy far too early and he only survived for 4 days? OH had to go up for the funeral, I didn't go with V being so small.
Well, this morning they went in for a planned c-section and have a beautiful 7lb baby boy.

How many people have you contacted for help with these pains in the butts?

Great news for your friend. Nothing will ever replace the lost boy, but they have a new boy to focus on now and I hope they enjoy him growing up.

Lucy and I sat down with 11yo and she says she got confused because we were talking about babies and Lucy being a mum, but she did say that with a new brother or sister on the way, that she feels it would be strange when eventually the baby can say mummy (albeit a long way away), but they are all still calling her Lucy. Lucy told her she can call her what she likes and she's gone away to think about it and we'll get everyone together later when everyone is home, to have a lighthearted chat and see what everyone thinks or wants to do.

I'm sure many issues will be raised and I know Lucy has one concern, as she hates having to respond to people when we are out who say 'are they all yours?' She's only 12 years older than my eldest, so that must feel rough as Lucy looks young herself, but her concern isn't that, it's the uncomfortable feeling of having to say 'no' and then getting the strange looks or the conversation abruptly ending.

Would be interested to hear views of those with step children, those with partners who aren't biological parents of one or more of their children....well anyone really.

Not a trauma or anything, but would like to hear what they are called by their step kids and how they think step kids feel about it.

ManOnTheMoon

Just to add, obviously with the first 2 girls, their second mother was their step mother, but they were babies when their mum left.

Evansangel

MOTM, my stepmum is 12 years older than me.
As i still had my mum i called her by her real name, but when we used to go out she would refer to me as her daughter, i never found it to weird.

People used to react shocked, but in a good way.

She was also about a foot shorter than me and looks very young for her age, and i look older for my age so it confused some people, but was all good fun.

ManOnTheMoon

Evansangel wrote: »

MOTM, my stepmum is 12 years older than me.
As i still had my mum i called her by her real name, but when we used to go out she would refer to me as her daughter, i never found it to weird.

People used to react shocked, but in a good way.

She was also about a foot shorter than me and looks very young for her age, and i look older for my age so it confused some people, but was all good fun.

You're perfect to get advice from then

The only difference is, they don't have a mum present, but your experience gives me confidence as it's clearly worked out well for you

It's up to all those involved and as long as everyone is happy, that's what matters.

My_Fathers_Daughter

MOTM - when out and about with DSS who is 10 I refer to him as my son for ease (why does a waiter or whatever need to know he is my step son) but I would refer to him as my step son in other situations.

Equally, if someone says to DSS 'your mum' when we are out (meaning me) he doesn't correct them. But I would never expect him to call me anything other than my name. Step-families are so common these days that nobody bats an eyelid.

My eldest 2 step sons are 22 and 21. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of contact with them ATM but the relationship is clearly one of step parent/step child and to expect anything else would be strange in our situation.

My eldest step son is 11 years younger than me....which makes me feel slightly wierd!!!



BTW - we have also dealt with the 'how will my pregnancy compare to the others that hubby has experienced' issue and hubby dealt with it PERFECTLY by saying he doesn't really remember much of the earlier pregnancies and births, saying things had clearly changed a lot and saying that the other mothers didn't involve him much - this left me at ease to be myself, not worry and involve hubby as much as I could. It could of course all have been lies on his part but it worked!!!

Evansangel

Unfortunatly my Dad and Stepmum have split up, but i still care for her and still invited her to my wedding.

The 2 boys dont seem to question why i call her Naomi and call my dad 'Dad'. They are 3 and 7.

I used to get her mothers day cards too that said 'Mum' on the front

Sami_Bee

Glamazon wrote: »

OH doesn't want me to have the coil cos he's a bit squeamish about things in the womb.

Don't know if I could sue Cap or Diaphragm Should I Google it in work?

We went sans rainjackets last night _party_

ETA - Yes 3 it is and I would remember cos I'd set an alarm on my phone. The Cerazette one you get a 12 hour window, its the older ones that had a 3hr window

I'm sorry but what has it got to do with him? its your womb, not like its got any affect on him (if he has some macho notion that he's so big he'll feel it then he's wrong, my OH felt the strings of mine like once in over a year of me having it)
Does everyone else consult their OH on their contraceptive choices? I just told OH what I'm doing (I do just tell him lots of things tho, guess who wears the trousers in this house:cool: )

3onitsway

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

How many people have you contacted for help with these pains in the butts?

I've tried contacting them, and have emailed anyone I can think of.

I've had nothing from them, and a couple of emails from papers telling us to let them know what happens re refund. :mad:

I've just spoken to trading standards who've 'logged' me and given me a ref. number.

They said to send the complaint again to them, by snail mail recorded delivery as email can be denied.

Give them 7 days to respond. If they don't, ring trading standards when the 7 days are up.

They said a strange thing though. They said to ask for the £1200 holiday cost, £100 for petrol, and to think of an amount for the stress/upset//inconvenience. How on earth do you think up a figure for that?


I've had my step dad since I was 11. I call him by his name - but I think that's because i've never particularly liked him. :rotfl:

OH has been with us since L was 2. She mostly calls him by his name, but sometimes, if she's being snuggly or she wants something, calls him Dad.

We had the same conversation when I was pregnant with V. L was worried that when V is saying Daddy, she might get confused with L calling him his name. I said it's totally up to her what she wants to call him.

If we're all out together and OH is referred to as Dad - we don't correct them. OH would have been 17 when J was born so it is possible.

ManOnTheMoon

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

MOTM - when out and about with DSS who is 10 I refer to him as my son for ease (why does a waiter or whatever need to know he is my step son) but I would refer to him as my step son in other situations.

Equally, if someone says to DSS 'your mum' when we are out (meaning me) he doesn't correct them. But I would never expect him to call me anything other than my name. Step-families are so common these days that nobody bats an eyelid.

My eldest 2 step sons are 22 and 21. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of contact with them ATM but the relationship is clearly one of step parent/step child and to expect anything else would be strange in our situation.

My eldest step son is 11 years younger than me....which makes me feel slightly wierd!!!



BTW - we have also dealt with the 'how will my pregnancy compare to the others that hubby has experienced' issue and hubby dealt with it PERFECTLY by saying he doesn't really remember much of the earlier pregnancies and births, saying things had clearly changed a lot and saying that the other mothers didn't involve him much - this left me at ease to be myself, not worry and involve hubby as much as I could. It could of course all have been lies on his part but it worked!!!

Thanks for your experiences too.

I'm pleased to be around those who have/are experiencing it and that it's quite normal.

We'll discuss it later, as I say, light heartedly.

As for previous pregnancies with other partners, yes it's a concern for Lucy, and this one is different. I'm considerably older (although still young at heart) and I mean it in the way that Lucy is far more easier to get along with and will let me be part of it and not only that, the other girls be part of it. Your OH is like me in some ways and I doubt he was lying

Lucy has had a rough start in life, and she is very special to us all (sick bucket :rotfl:) and I just want everyone to be happy. I'm easy either way (steady!)

Thanks for the input.

Mazcabs

Sami_Bee wrote: »

I do just tell him lots of things tho, guess who wears the trousers in this house )

:rotfl::rotfl:Same here Sami !!!