MSE Parents Club Part 13

My_Fathers_Daughter

MOTM - when out and about with DSS who is 10 I refer to him as my son for ease (why does a waiter or whatever need to know he is my step son) but I would refer to him as my step son in other situations.

Equally, if someone says to DSS 'your mum' when we are out (meaning me) he doesn't correct them. But I would never expect him to call me anything other than my name. Step-families are so common these days that nobody bats an eyelid.

My eldest 2 step sons are 22 and 21. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of contact with them ATM but the relationship is clearly one of step parent/step child and to expect anything else would be strange in our situation.

My eldest step son is 11 years younger than me....which makes me feel slightly wierd!!!



BTW - we have also dealt with the 'how will my pregnancy compare to the others that hubby has experienced' issue and hubby dealt with it PERFECTLY by saying he doesn't really remember much of the earlier pregnancies and births, saying things had clearly changed a lot and saying that the other mothers didn't involve him much - this left me at ease to be myself, not worry and involve hubby as much as I could. It could of course all have been lies on his part but it worked!!!

Evansangel

Unfortunatly my Dad and Stepmum have split up, but i still care for her and still invited her to my wedding.

The 2 boys dont seem to question why i call her Naomi and call my dad 'Dad'. They are 3 and 7.

I used to get her mothers day cards too that said 'Mum' on the front

Sami_Bee

Glamazon wrote: »

OH doesn't want me to have the coil cos he's a bit squeamish about things in the womb.

Don't know if I could sue Cap or Diaphragm Should I Google it in work?

We went sans rainjackets last night _party_

ETA - Yes 3 it is and I would remember cos I'd set an alarm on my phone. The Cerazette one you get a 12 hour window, its the older ones that had a 3hr window

I'm sorry but what has it got to do with him? its your womb, not like its got any affect on him (if he has some macho notion that he's so big he'll feel it then he's wrong, my OH felt the strings of mine like once in over a year of me having it)
Does everyone else consult their OH on their contraceptive choices? I just told OH what I'm doing (I do just tell him lots of things tho, guess who wears the trousers in this house:cool: )

3onitsway

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

How many people have you contacted for help with these pains in the butts?

I've tried contacting them, and have emailed anyone I can think of.

I've had nothing from them, and a couple of emails from papers telling us to let them know what happens re refund. :mad:

I've just spoken to trading standards who've 'logged' me and given me a ref. number.

They said to send the complaint again to them, by snail mail recorded delivery as email can be denied.

Give them 7 days to respond. If they don't, ring trading standards when the 7 days are up.

They said a strange thing though. They said to ask for the £1200 holiday cost, £100 for petrol, and to think of an amount for the stress/upset//inconvenience. How on earth do you think up a figure for that?


I've had my step dad since I was 11. I call him by his name - but I think that's because i've never particularly liked him. :rotfl:

OH has been with us since L was 2. She mostly calls him by his name, but sometimes, if she's being snuggly or she wants something, calls him Dad.

We had the same conversation when I was pregnant with V. L was worried that when V is saying Daddy, she might get confused with L calling him his name. I said it's totally up to her what she wants to call him.

If we're all out together and OH is referred to as Dad - we don't correct them. OH would have been 17 when J was born so it is possible.

ManOnTheMoon

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

MOTM - when out and about with DSS who is 10 I refer to him as my son for ease (why does a waiter or whatever need to know he is my step son) but I would refer to him as my step son in other situations.

Equally, if someone says to DSS 'your mum' when we are out (meaning me) he doesn't correct them. But I would never expect him to call me anything other than my name. Step-families are so common these days that nobody bats an eyelid.

My eldest 2 step sons are 22 and 21. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of contact with them ATM but the relationship is clearly one of step parent/step child and to expect anything else would be strange in our situation.

My eldest step son is 11 years younger than me....which makes me feel slightly wierd!!!



BTW - we have also dealt with the 'how will my pregnancy compare to the others that hubby has experienced' issue and hubby dealt with it PERFECTLY by saying he doesn't really remember much of the earlier pregnancies and births, saying things had clearly changed a lot and saying that the other mothers didn't involve him much - this left me at ease to be myself, not worry and involve hubby as much as I could. It could of course all have been lies on his part but it worked!!!

Thanks for your experiences too.

I'm pleased to be around those who have/are experiencing it and that it's quite normal.

We'll discuss it later, as I say, light heartedly.

As for previous pregnancies with other partners, yes it's a concern for Lucy, and this one is different. I'm considerably older (although still young at heart) and I mean it in the way that Lucy is far more easier to get along with and will let me be part of it and not only that, the other girls be part of it. Your OH is like me in some ways and I doubt he was lying

Lucy has had a rough start in life, and she is very special to us all (sick bucket :rotfl:) and I just want everyone to be happy. I'm easy either way (steady!)

Thanks for the input.

Mazcabs

Sami_Bee wrote: »

I do just tell him lots of things tho, guess who wears the trousers in this house )

:rotfl::rotfl:Same here Sami !!!

Sami_Bee

3onitsway wrote: »

I've tried contacting them, and have emailed anyone I can think of.

I've had nothing from them, and a couple of emails from papers telling us to let them know what happens re refund. :mad:

I've just spoken to trading standards who've 'logged' me and given me a ref. number.

They said to send the complaint again to them, by snail mail recorded delivery as email can be denied.

Give them 7 days to respond. If they don't, ring trading standards when the 7 days are up.

They said a strange thing though. They said to ask for the £1200 holiday cost, £100 for petrol, and to think of an amount for the stress/upset//inconvenience. How on earth do you think up a figure for that?


I've had my step dad since I was 11. I call him by his name - but I think that's because i've never particularly liked him. :rotfl:

OH has been with us since L was 2. She mostly calls him by his name, but sometimes, if she's being snuggly or she wants something, calls him Dad.

We had the same conversation when I was pregnant with V. L was worried that when V is saying Daddy, she might get confused with L calling him his name. I said it's totally up to her what she wants to call him.

If we're all out together and OH is referred to as Dad - we don't correct them. OH would have been 17 when J was born so it is possible.

Just trying to find more detail but the boy in this story http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/boy-5-cleared-of-theft-gets-1636300-2037991.html got a certain amount for emotional distress I think, I'll keep looking for the breakdown of the damages, it might help you decide if your talking 10's 100' or 1000's ??


One of my good friends calls her actual mum by her real name, she is a bit mad tho

If Lucy is feeling confident she could reply to "are they all yours" with no I stole them or something equally cheeky I think I'd just say yes, if the girls see her as a mum type figure then I guess they'd be ok with that. what has it go to do with some random on the street whether she gave birth to them or not.

SugarSpun

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Does everyone else consult their OH on their contraceptive choices? I just told OH what I'm doing (I do just tell him lots of things tho, guess who wears the trousers in this house:cool: )

I do, but then I don't like taking the pill and am a bit squeamish about the coil as well so the discussion (such as it was) had to be a joint decision to use condoms/think of something else. Fortunately since we'd like another baby reasonably soonish the question does not apply at the moment :cool:

3onitsway wrote: »

They said a strange thing though. They said to ask for the £1200 holiday cost, £100 for petrol, and to think of an amount for the stress/upset//inconvenience. How on earth do you think up a figure for that?

I would look at the most expensive comparable trip that is convenient for you all and add on the difference in price between that and the Bastage Camp holiday. And then I would add a bit. And a bit more.

pinknico

Manonthemoon, I am a stepmum and was for 6 years before I had my first. They were 5 and three when my OH got together and had always known me by my first name but like others they do not correct people who refer to me as their mum . My three take great delight in calling me by my first name whenever their brother and sister visit!

My_Fathers_Daughter

3 - I reckon a couple of hundred quid for your inconvenience should be the way to go...

It is not like they are going to offer you thousands and thousands of pounds for distress (mores the pity)

In fact, I would suggest that TS are way off the mark in even asking you to do it, you don't get anything in PI cases for emotive elements so I think it unlikely that you would in this case if it went to court.

No more than £500 IMHO


Although I wish I could charge the barstools £500 for every damn tear that your family has shed over their !!!!!!! incompetence and ignorance.