Solving Family Rows

zzzLazyDaisy

I have just caught up with this thread!

Firstly a HUGE congratulations to you and the baby xxx

Secondly, I just wanted to say that as a grandmother of two beautiful grand-daughters, I would never ever have treated my DIL the way your MIL has treated you.

For two reasons - the first and main one is that I love her and respect her right to raise the girls as she sees fit, even if I don't always agree, and even she is going against my son's wishes, because at the end of the day she is the parent with care.

The second reason is very pragmatic - she has my grandchildren and if I was to get on the wrong side of her I could lose them, or at thevery least have an expensive and divisive court battle on my hands. (Frankly I think your MIL has lost her marbles to take such a big risk of alienating her grandchildren's mother!)

Fortunately, in my case that has never ever been a risk because we have both tried hard to maintain a relationship for the sake of the children - and in fact she is now married again and has four more children who all call me grandma, and don't think there is anything strange about the fact that they have three sets of grandparents.

(The midwife was totally confused, though, when DIL introduced me as her mum-in-law.... given that husband no2 is only 6 years my junior :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: )

Enjoy your baby, gather your little family around you, and be happy xxxx

GobbledyGook

Thank you everyone.

We're all doing great here. Josiah has taken to feeding like a dream which is a massive help. The girls adore him. Have had to remind the little one a few times that she's not to pick him up, but that's expected. The biggest one is as pleased as punch and I'm not sure I've had a shot of pushing the pram yet from her!

Ex is being helpful which is brilliant and my cousin, as always, has been a rock. I have a letter from MIL (I know the handwriting), but I haven't opened it yet and don't intend to for at least a few days. Ex has told her I have it and that I'm not opening it. FIL has been to see Josiah and took some photographs, but is as much contact as she's getting.

Josiah's arrival has totally taken the minds of the girls away from missing her. The eldest knows that Granny said some bad things and made some threats so isn't allowed to visit at the moment. I think she assumes things will correct themselves like they did when Daddy didn't visit us for a while so she's not upset by it which I'm glad about.

Overall we're a happy household at. Can't wait to get some photos sorted because he's a gorgeous baby - not that I'm biased or anything though lol.

Gemma x

InaPickle

Happy to hear things are going so well, Gemma. Congratulations! :T

As for MIL: deal with it when you are good and ready and not before. I get the feeling that her letter will be full of remorse, but don't make any decisions you have to make on the back of any guilt trip she may try to pull as I do think that she has had delusions of taking your place with the girls.

Carry on enjoying your bab boy and your girls - this must be a lovely time for you after all that has gone on. x

jackieglasgow

Glad to hear you are all well Gemma, and that you are retaining control by refusing to open her letter until you are ready. you go, girl. XX

Person_one

Congratulations! I think you're handling everything perfectly. x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Don't forget that three days after the birth is often the time you find yourself least likely to make good decisions - milk coming in, pain, sleepless, hormones, etc, etc.

So leave the letter longer than that.

Congratulations, you are someone to be proud of.

Loopy_Girl

Have just logged on Gemma and was dleighted to read that your baby boy is here:j

Not too long after you had posted saying your cousin was on her way etc so hopefully was an uneventful birth and everything you had planned.

Nothing like new life to make you optimistic in the world

How do you pronounce his name? Is is Jo-sy-ah?

Congratulations to you all and I am sure that his big sisters will be helping out lots:D

Well done you and remember to look after yourself too - the dishes will still be there and no one has died from an un-hoovered carpet if you have a nap when he is down..;)

xx

*Louise*

Glad you have posted and everything is on an even keel for now.

re. the letter - let's hope it's a sincere apology eh?! You're right to leave it until you feel more up to facing it's contents.

I think you standing up to her will have been wake up call which has been a long time coming. She hasn't done herself any favours though, because she has lost all the trust you had in her

Take things easy, and congrats again on baby Josiah xxx

Savvy_Sue

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

How do you pronounce his name? Is is Jo-sy-ah?

Can't speak for Gemma, but that would be the way I'd pronounce it, with the stress on the SY if that makes sense.

Zazen999

Nice one Gemma.